In the past year or so, homosexual Boys have started killing themselves. They clearly can not handle the Rightness and Morality of the Christians. But this brings up a question. Why, do these children choose this lifestyle if We, the Morality of This American Nation, will teach them the consequences? Hypnotism, Gentlemen, hypnotism. “But Good Brother Christopher,” you may ask, “how do you know this?” Well, Gentlemen, I am an investigative reporter. I do what it takes as long as it follows the Holy Bible to find the liberals’ deepest and darkest secrets.
In 1968, a secret organization, or exclusive homosexual fraternity, if you will, was founded by members of the Navy. Typical sailors, always getting themselves into sodomite positions, but these ones were particularly devious and ambitious. This organization was called B.A.N.A.L., or Boys Against Natural Anatomical Lifestyles, and was designed to control the homosexual population and lure young boys into their trap. They started by bribing hippies and independent filmmakers, who would soon start playing into their plan and making the illegitimate lifestyle more well-known.
Many current homogay liberal phenomena are due to BANAL and their vile control. GLEE, Lady Gaygay, Justin Biever, Harry Potter, Modern Families and Star Trek, among others, were almost entirely controlled by BANAL. See, BANAL pays these organizations of horror to brainwash the young children into beileiving these lies, which is mainly Responsible for the influx in homosexuality. These children are being told that “it’s cool” and if We, the Moral, reprimand them that “it get’s better and someday you will be the CEO of Apple or a famous fashion designer! How glamorous!”
Another part of BANAL is the brainwashing of different “types” of homosexuals for these boys to find themselves in, similar to the marketing methods of Barbie and gigolos. You have the “Interlectual Homosexual”, E.G. a homosexual who writes controversial poetry while dressed as an elderly jewish hippie or a Proust scholar who is feeling sad because his Male graduate student left him for the other Proust scholar. You have the “Fey Gay”, or a homosexual who is extremely effeminate and may be meticulous with his clothing, E.G. a Boy who is always wearing extremely expensive runway outfits and singing in his high shrill voice everywhere he goes, or a hypnotic SKYRIM programmer, or those elderly Men who wink at you repulsively when you walk down the street. You also have athlete homosexuals, news reporter homosexuals, actor homosexuals, and Freddie Mercury. With all of these different molds, a Boy can easily realize the “homosexual in him”.
These boys are brainwashed by BANAL. They make videos of themselves crying while showing us cue cards telling us tales of their masochist ways. They jump off the Golden Gay Bridge when their roommate catches them doing sodomy on camera. They commit suicide after receiving Moral Reprimanding. This is all because they know that when they do, the gay agenda will try to bring us down.
Down with BANAL. Down with homosexuality. Up with Morals. We must stand up against these sins. We have our Morals, we must now all unite and spread them to everyone else, so that BANAL does not take over the world!