• 13 Great Reasons to Take Away Your Teen’s Cell Phone

    January 17, 2012 11:05 am 137 comments
  • Share on Tumblr
  • Teens with cell phones are more likely to engage in: same sex encounters, posting explicit photographs to the internet, cussing, pre-marital sex, Nazism, animal cruelty and socialism. Teens with cell phones are more likely to end up prostitutes and internet gamblers with little hope for college or a productive life. Parents need to be aware of the dangers of cell phones on teens and understand that taking the phone away from them is the right thing to do.

    (1) The Teen Brain is Damaged by Cell Phones

    There’s a reason jailed criminals are denied access to cell phones and these same reasons apply to teens. They are not productive members of society and need to learn interaction and responsibility before being given such freedoms. Many parents make the mistake of giving kids cell phones for special occasions. While this seems nice, it is a deadly gift of horrors that can last a lifetime.

    The skull of a newborn has a fontanel or soft spot that does not fully close until the child is 18 months old. The teen brain is also not fully developed and has a soft spot for the radiation from the cell phone to enter and fry the circuitry when combined with the raging hormones of puberty.

    The phone creates electrical phasing across the synapses of the brainstem, allowing the unconscious amoral aspects of the teen to override any reasoning decisions. A phone affected teen’s mental construct is such that the idea of playing a game of ‘kidnap’, where they abduct a ‘friend’ while documenting the escapade as a lark, seems like good natured fun. The phone as a tool to communicate the idea to others and rally a group of supporters is harmful. It can also be a felony.

    Parents need to take these things seriously and not brush it off as ‘funny’. Would the teen even consider such an undertaking if he or she was more isolated? One can certainly answer “no” to that question and “no” to teens having a cell phone in the first place.

    (2) Teens with Cell Phones Promote Socialism in the Home

    Last year, the Arab Spring was all the news. Through social media, the Arab peoples shook the powers of government and called for the overthrow of leaders. This could happen in your home.

    The home is like a democracy, with laws founded in scripture and tradition with checks and balances between the three branches of government. Mom, Dad and the kids each have roles similar to the executive, judicial and legislative branches with the kids most likely being the rowdy ineffectual House of Representatives.

    Parents as the executive and judicial branches of home government must clearly enact laws that prohibit and cool the tempest pot of the emotional teen by censure, veto and keeping with the family’s Constitution. As all adults know, the right to a cell phone does not appear in the Constitution and just because “everyone” in his or her class has one, does not mean your teen needs one. That’s like saying just because Canada has socialized medicine, the town of Toad Suck, Arkansas needs it as well. It is an error of inference that is symptomatic of brain damaged teens.

    (3) Teens with Cell Phones are likely to Bully or be Bullied

    When tools are used that take away face to face interaction teens may experience a feeling of liberation. Unbound by social signals such as looks or status, they stretch and exercise their new freedom by unleashing their frustrations on others. Irrational hate is nourished and coddled. Violence and meanness is rewarded and admired. Those unfortunate enough to be victims are ignored and given short shrift by others who pile on in compliance.

    Teens will try to use these same techniques on parents and grownups they view as threats to the wondrous power they feel berating others. They will mock and deride without recourse or reason. Teachers become common targets.

    When teens are without a cell phone, any bullying via texting or the web becomes moot. They are less likely to get sassy or morose. The confidence of living life in real life makes so much more sense. Answering a bully’s taunt by getting a cell phone only makes the victim appear deserving and the bully more powerful.

    (4) The More Teens have Phones, the Greater the Decline in Education Quality

    Once a teen has experienced the new and overwhelming power to promote social discourse and elevate criticism, they will target authority figures. While a limited number will stick to peer group members only, far more seek bigger hunting grounds. Numerous accounts abound on how teachers are harassed and harangued by teens. Many of the good teachers will leave education all together, allowing some of the lesser capable educators to thrive.

    Because teaching staffs are incompetent, schools will lower their requirements. Some parents will be fooled into thinking since little Johnny has straight A’s all is well. What they don’t consider is that the school’s proficiency rating is at 78% due to quality teachers leaving the school. Earning an A in a school with a proficiency rating of 78% is like earning a C in a 100% proficiency school.

    (5) Teen’s with Cell Phones are Likely to Become Prostitutes to a Perceived Audience

    The cell phone allows the teen to participate in what parents believe is a ‘connection with friends’. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Weirdoes and others can also connect with your child. Like a parent cheering those first steps, these nasty Neds of the interwebs cajole and reward behaviors with up ticks and likes. This sets a dangerous precedent. Without any real self esteem, the teen grows up looking for the thrill of anonymous affirmation and is easily misled into thinking their every thought is something that needs to be communicated to others.

    In recent news, American soldiers uploaded a video of themselves urinating on dead Taliban members. While reviews were mixed, I think one can see where the thrill of anonymous affirmation was certainly present even on the battlefield. Teens with a cell phone have less control than soldiers. While one might agree with urinating on the dead, it certainly becomes more suspect behavior when your teen uploads videos urinating in the US of A.

    One mom interviewed said her daughter was polluted with the crazy thrill of cell media celebrity. The girl had agreed to digitally record anal sex and married an unemployed man just for the reaction from social media friends! While sad, such stories are not uncommon.

    (6) Teen’s Language Skills Become Bastardized with Misuse and Abuse of Cell Phones

    While many parents believe they are giving their child a leg up on communication, they are in fact helping their child become retarded. One father I spoke with said his daughter received a cell phone for her birthday and became completely catatonic over a weekend after texting friends for 48 hours straight. Her speech patterns became abrupt 140 character, non sequitur cursing rants that left Nanna upset and made the dog howl. Grades in language arts plummeted soon after and her opportunities for post secondary education became a short list of beauty school and some veterinary grooming technical school.

    (7) The Games Found on Cell Phones Promote Animal Cruelty and Nazism

    One of the most popular games, ‘Angry Birds’, includes slingshooting birds at pigs. Of course this is a Dutch game and is most likely the result of the Dutch cultural belief that Americans (the pigs) must be destroyed financially. Some Dutch, if not all Dutch people, cannot get over the fact without America, Europe would be under Nazi control. ‘Angry Birds’ is not only an attempt to rally support for the Dutch way of thinking, it has been downloaded over 12 million times.

    Teens scoff at the idea of ‘Angry Birds’ as a weapon against the divine exceptionalism of America. This is largely due to the lack of proper education (see reason four) but also due to how good it feels to be ignorant. Their minds rotted by the self satisfaction of a game high score, teens are susceptible to all sorts of other ideas like socialized medicine, strong central government and toothbrush mustaches hybrids of hipsters called hiblers.

    (8) Cell Phones Teach Teens to be Homosexual Racists

    Teens are susceptible to homosexual upgrades like the ‘white boy’ phone. In addition to the ‘ghetto black’ or ‘Hispanic Red’ phone color sets the stage for division of races. While that doesn’t sound horrible, the ‘White Boy’ advertising features homosexual pornography and titillates the teen into a fantasy world of anal fiddle faddle. Parents need to be mindful of the messages of color and cell phones used by teens. Of course the best policy would be to simply take them away.

    (9) Cells Phones are Rarely Used for the Purpose Intended and Carry a High Cost

    Many teens and even parents will argue a cell phone is necessary to keep in contact. What these parents and teens fail to recognize is that teens are prolific liars. A friendly call from a teen that they are at a “friend’s house playing Uno with adults present” is really code for “I’m drugged out of my mind, slurping up tequila jello shots off the underage daughter of the local sheriff while being anally pleasured by a donkey”. The best communication method is face to face. We should look to the wisdom of keeping our children at home.

    No money is saved by giving a teen a cell phone, with costs of approximately $90 per teen, that is $1,000 per year that could go to a college fund or dowry for girls. In addition, the social peer pressure to attend movies and other outings costs money. It is estimated that teen internet dilly dallying and entertainment is a $20 billion dollar industry! Why should this industry be funded on the backs of working parents with no discernable benefit to humanity or the values of faith, family and freedom?

    Teens have no business with a cell phone or even a personal phone line in the home. Parents need to stop acting like lemmings and following the herd to provide the resources to teens to effectively ruin their lives.

    Home and Hearth Test:

    How to tell if your teen needs you to take his phone away. 1) Have the youngster read the points above. 2) Ask him or her how many reasons were given. 3) If he answers incorrectly, he or she is most likely retarded and needs the phone taken away. – Remember being a parent isn’t easy. You can’t be friends with your child, you need to protect them from these forces that can ruin their future.

    Thanks for rating this! Now tell the world how you feel through social media. .
    How does this post make you feel?
    • Excited
    • Fascinated
    • Amused
    • Shocked
    • Sad
    • Angry
    About The Author
    Blanche Beecham "Blanche Beecham lends a soft, learned hand to the fourth estate with incite-full investigations on diverse topics such as Politics, Love, and Lifestyle. Her many years experience as a wife, mother, ladies book club president and financial auditor make her well suited to ferreting out the truth and giving it a sound shake." - Rev. Jackson Lee Whitebelley, Publisher and Editor of "The Incubator" - Follow me on Twitter! @BLANCHEBEECHAM

    Facebook Conversations