2012 GOP Pageant Drag Show in South Carolina (EXCLUSIVE CHRIS†WIRE PHOTOS)
Early debates for the Republican nomination enjoyed an enormous popularity. Unfortunately the thrill and novelty of the question-answer debate format is limited. Taking a cue from Hollywood, the South Carolina Republican League of Women Voters is hosting a GOP Pageant Talent Show on the theme of “Women and Marriage” to highlight the candidates’ values. Proceeds from the talent show will benefit conservative groups interested in women’s rights and marriage preservation. Click on the links for more information.
1.) Rick Perry will be doing his infamous Reba MacIntyre skit to get in a few digs regarding Mitt Romney’s privileged lifestyle. “Fancy” is always a crowd favorite and is often requested by visitors to the family ranch. Since his candidacy has more or less ran its course, Mr. Parry’s participation is one of manly man support rather than a pandering for woman’s votes. “Dang that Woman’s Suffrage an’ Repeal of DADT” tshirts are available in the lobby before the show.
“The greatest victories in the battle for life are not going to be won in the halls of government. It’s going to be won in the hearts of men.”
She handed me a heart shaped locket that said
“To thine own self be true”
And I shivered as I watched a roach crawl across
The toe of my high heel shoe
It sounded like somebody else that was talkin’
Askin’ Mama what do I do
She said just be nice to the gentlemen Fancy
They’ll be nice to you – Bobby Gentry “Fancy”
2.) Ron Paul dismisses the recent tutelage of Ru Paul and takes a slice of life from “Toddler’s and Tiaras” to remind voters that he has always had a helping hand for women. Dr. Paul delivered scads of babies during his tenure as a physician. He performs “Born this Way” by the artist known as Lady Gaga. While a controversial choice, Dr. Paul has not been one to conform to conventional wisdom. It is a quality his followers, also known as ‘Paulettes’ find endearing.
“There is only one kind of freedom and that’s individual liberty. Our lives come from our creator and our liberty comes from our creator. It has nothing to do with government granting it.”
You don’t need diamond rings
Or eighteen karat gold
Fancy cars that go very fast
You know they never last, no, no
What you need is a big strong hand
To lift you to your higher ground
Make you feel like a queen on a throne
You can’t make him love you till you love yourself. – Lady Ru Paul
3.) Rick Santorum give his all with a beguiling soliloquy on the merits of Christian marriage and a woman’s right to be a wife and mother. Fan favorites from his past speaking engagements are deftly woven into his scene. New points such as his advice to women to remain fit and trim for their man are played against the ‘paper towel vs napkin’ model of marriage. While he obviously has some serious acting chops, we may never see a woman portrayed so accurately by a male thespian candidate.
“The idea is that the state doesn’t have rights to limit individuals’ wants and passions. I disagree with that. I think we absolutely have rights because there are consequences to letting people live out whatever wants or passions they desire. I can call this napkin a paper towel, but it is a napkin. And why? Because it is what it is, right? You can call it whatever you want, but it doesn’t change the character of what it is. Sort of the metaphysical. Right?”
4.) Mitt Romney is clearly the favorite going into the South Carolina primary and he knows it. He explores is Hispanic roots with a showstopper from “West Side Story”. It is an upbeat message to women everywhere as well as a strong rebuttal to the slings and barbs from the Gingrich campaign. Seeing his elaborate ‘Sunday meeting’ up do is worth the price of admission.
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and GAY!
And I pity
Any girl who isn’t me tonight.
I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It’s alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I’m real.
5.) Jon Huntsman, what is there to say? He appears off the reservation with his Chinese Geisha girl fan dance. The plain folks in South Carolina, like most of the nation, have difficulty connecting with this liberal pandering turncoat. He speaks a foreign language. He doesn’t have punchy one liners suitable for Obumber bumper stickers. Heck, when a person sees him dolled up like this, it’s pretty clear he’s never considered the good qualities of the red Solo cup.
6.) Newt Leroy Gingrich, quite frankly, is an amazing yet bookish individual. Reading his book reviews on Amazon is like going to college history class without taking showers in a dorm after a night of kegging. Newt performs a thrilling self written, self cast play loosely based on Shakespeare’s “The Tempest” and Queen Elizabeth. Drawing on the romance genre, this cammedia dell’arte style courtly masque is a fantastical study of how the country might be run if we had a big queen instead of a President. Jim DeMint makes an appearance as Johebus, a noble member of the court who, quite frankly, yearns for Newt’s affirmations, an ironic twist in this compelling play.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Blanche Beecham
"Blanche Beecham lends a soft, learned hand to the fourth estate with incite-full investigations on diverse topics such as Politics, Love, and Lifestyle. Her many years experience as a wife, mother, ladies book club president and financial auditor make her well suited to ferreting out the truth and giving it a sound shake." - Rev. Jackson Lee Whitebelley, Publisher and Editor of "The Incubator" - Follow me on Twitter! @BLANCHEBEECHAM
6:51 pm
These are some of the worst photoshops I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen some bad ‘shops.
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7:16 pm
Ellen,
Theater make up usually entails surgical tape to lift the eyebrows and smooth the sags from skin. The tape is covered with heavy make up for the final show. It is a very well known theatrical trick.
These photographs were taken during rehearsal with a Kodak 35mm camera using black and white film. My stop dial is broken so some look a little funny, but I assure you for the final show this will be fantastic! I think it will be broadcast on the Lifetime network this weekend.
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7:22 pm
The second pic is clearly Ron Paul’s face shopped onto one ofthe girls from Toddlers and Tiaras
These aren’t even good attempts at photoshop…
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9:42 pm
Who the hell is Ellen, Bitcham? You havin’ problems reading again? Not surprising, you’re stupid enough to think that these are legitimate photographs. Even though you made them. Damn you’re stupid.
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9:57 pm
OH NO!! HE DID!!
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7:47 am
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7:01 pm
ITS BRIGHT AS DAY THAT U CAN C THE HEADS WERE PHOTO-SHOPPED ON THE GIRL’S BODIES
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7:14 pm
Oh dear, that is just one state away! i am loading up the shot gun for the night! Any gay agendaed transgenders step foot on my lawn I am popping some buckshot in them.
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7:21 pm
thats not very christian is it poser
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7:25 pm
I loved this article so much I read it twice. I really liked the points about women keeping fit and trim, it is so important in today’s fast food world.
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7:35 pm
Oh August you brighten my day. I was surprised to see Demint’s involvement, he usually tries to stay out of the limelight.
Your man Paul sure is spry for an older gentleman.
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9:46 pm
Ron Paul is the man; unfortunately I hit my contributions maximum for him a while ago, so I now pay people to allow me to contribute under their name. It’s a great loophole.
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7:37 pm
Man, those are some terrible clone stamp jobs.
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5:05 am
Hi Fredrick,
If you are going to use street language on the forum, please include some definition so others will know what you are talking about. Not everyone grows up in the big city with hoppers and such.
Kind regards,
BB
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7:38 pm
Hey Bimbo, you know slapping the christwire site into the bottom corner in photoshop dosen’t mean the “photos” are real or even yours?
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7:38 pm
Fantastic article. It’s a shame that the traditional art of theatre involving men dressing in costume as women has been stolen and exploited by the gays. Back in Shakespearean times this was common place. It was a well respected, heterosexual vocation, not like today where gays have taken these roles from talented STRAIGHT men.
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7:46 pm
Santorom has some nice man teets but a flat @$$
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8:06 pm
lol worst photshop EVER! hahahaha
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9:21 pm
You didn’t even try to photoshop them right.
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10:39 pm
They look amazing! I am in love.
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8:27 am
How did you get such great shots of Tyson when he wakes up and slams his head into a bible?
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9:56 am
I hope that the allure of wearing women’s clothing does not affect the sexuality that any of these Republicans and also Mitt Romney choose to adopt as their lifestyle. Lacy panties, slinky stockings and bras stuffed with balloons filled with warm Jello can sometimes turn into a habit. Don’t ask me how I know about this. Ask Barney Frank instead! I hear he used to play fullback before he started doing shows like this, and look how he turned out.
Or should that be “came out”? There’s another perfectly good phrase that’s been stained by the homogays.
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