• CES: Convention of Evil and Satanism

    January 12, 2012 11:10 am 72 comments

    The time has come again for the CES, the Consumer Electronics Show or the Convention of Evil and Satanism expo as we know it here in the Lord’s presents. Thousands of atheist nerds descend upon hell on earth or Las Vegas if you will, to take part in the worship of machinery far beyond the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ II (peace be upon him). This devil worshipping conference of evil and unholy interference of creationism is a hive of satanism and bible bashing terrorist maniacs looking to destroy our mother America with cheap Chinese nanobots.

    But What is a CES and how does it affect me and family?
    CES started in 1967 (take one away from the last digit and you are an extra 6 away from the devils number, don’t think you can hide that from us you terrorists!) as a way for the increasing hippy population of the art school ridden hives of the north east to conjoin together in New Yorke City and talk about microchips and chinese made nano computers. It quickly enlarged as these things always do under the guise of the ever growing Lucifer. It ran annually until in 1978 when the entire conference moved to Las Vegas (voted Place Most LIkely to get Sodomised at the Christwire Awarde Show™ 1835, 2001, 2004, 2005 and 2034) so that the athiest devil nerds could get their fix of illegal mexican strippers, blood money gambling and foreign ‘fast’ food (May holyness descend on the only 100% All American Restaurant Taco Bell). It has increased in evil in the recent few years, reaching staggering levels of Higsbusoms (The evil spirit that Satan uses to entwine young americans through mediums such as Cable Wrestling and Ellen), as demonstrated in the graph below:

    Graph of Higsbusoms against Year

    As shown in the graph, levels of devildom have reached all time highs this year. If this continues then the whole of the West of the United States of America™ will become a fire pit of sodom and cults before 2019
    Artists Impression of the West being a Firepit

    What can be found at CES?
    Undercover reporter Rev. John Guardez was sent undercover to the opening after being bathed for 48 hours in holy water to investigate the findings.

    “I arrived at CES to find rows and rows of tormented souls waiting in formation (no doubt Lucifer’s work) for the doors of the LVCC (Lost Vindictive Cult Center) to open. Once the shields holding in the sheer levels of evil inside opened thousands of devil dwelling monster children quickly ran inside to fornicate and copulate using technology as a medium. As it says in Leviticus 18:22 “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind, as with chinese created nano technology android: it is abomination”. God bless these tormented, sodomising, incestual devil worshippers.”

    Some of the evil machines shown at the convention include these:

    • Android Cellular Devices: Evil handheld pagers created by Google, the most evil organization since PETA (God bless the only true chosen search engine MSN Search). Evil hoarders use these devices to access the networks of “Twitter” (More like, Sintter, HA!), a devil server system created to spread the words of Dawkins and Satan and to organize sodomy protests against our government.
    • Third Dimension Televisions: Visual creations of Lucifer used to watch pornography and other evil materials in the third dimension, which is a dimension specifically banned from entering (See Carlos 4:14) by Sir Lord Jesus Christ II (peace be upon him). Who needs color televisions, let alone third dimension televisions! All one needs is a simple black and white monitor to watch local public access Christian shows.
    • DSLR Cameras: Dire Satan Lucifer Recorders or DSLR are cameras used by professional rapists and gays to record evil acts such as forced sodomy of animals and terrorist martyrdom execution videotapes. Lord please be upon these evil manufactures such as Sony, Nikon and McCanon.

    If we are to stop this disgusting parade of evil then we must be quick, as we only have 7 years before the entire West Coast is engulfed, leaving our country without a coastline to disembark from to attack the oriental devils. Please help us stop this by informing your comrades of truth and sending them this article.

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    About The Author
    Andrew JC Smithson I am a young Christian veteran looking to help spread the truth of our Lord Jesus Christ II (peace be upon him). My other interests include fishing with my brothers and refusing to install any browser other than Internet Explorer 6.

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