Just today I went to the local Chinese Buffet after church. Some of my friends have been trying to get me to go with them for about a month now. They have all told me that it is a good price, which I disagree with. After a tip it is $15.00.
But my problem is not the price. My problem is also not being surrounded by totems to their native communist homeland, Well actually that does bother me. I don’t like having Red Communist Dragons staring down at me with open gnashed teeth ready to suck the marrow from my frail bones. It also bothers me that they all run around there talking in that ching chong language of theirs. How am I supposed to know what they are saying?
As if the slant eyed ching chongers out front in the dinning room aren’t bad enough then you have the illegal chorizos in the back cooking the food. Authentic Chinese food my behind. I doubt the impoverished communists living in villages in the Pombongchongdingdong Province in China can afford little Mexicans to cook for them. I doubt that there are even any burrito slingers over there. They are an invasive species here in America but we only have a river separating us. There is a giant ocean keeping them out of China. Actually now I have a reason to be jealous of the Chinamen.
But what bothers me the most is the food. I got what was called Mongolian Beef. I was told that it was strips of steak with onions in it. It didn’t taste like steak to me. It was too chewy. I also sampled several types of Chinamen Chicken dishes. Once again it was stringy and way to chewy.
Normally I can eat a meal with no denture issues but this stuff is a Polident nightmare. I almost swallowed my teeth once. I know that would make many of the emosexuals on here happy but it did not happen, keep dreaming you black souled indigents.
I asked several church members what they thought the food was and all answered steak or chicken. But me and one other remembered that the Orientals eat dog. I was horrified.
I have never eaten dog as I am not a dirty communist oriental. I love dogs and would never eat one. Well unless God, Jesus, or the Holy Ghost told me to. I came home and started researching the topic of Chinamen Canine Consumption (CCC).
We know from previous articles that the Chinese have a taste for Dog. I searched other sites and found a magazine article about a Chinamen-American that went back to their ancestral land to eat dog. They describe the eating of dog thusly:
“In the end, dog doesn’t taste like sin or ambrosia. It’s a dark, fatty meat, best compared to a very chewy beef. Its extra grease gives the sauce an earthy undertone. I finish chewing and swallow. A full bowl of uneaten dog steams in front of me. My chopsticks hover.“
“A very chewy beef” That is exactly what I had at the buffet! Those sick slant eyed communists fed me DOG!!!
So I contacted the local Dog Pound and found that in the last month rates of dogs coming into the pound have went down by 135 percent! Of the dogs that have come in they have all been adopted within days by what the pound employee describes as “a nice asian fellow, with a thick accent”. I knew instantly that I was on to something. I asked the employee the name of the gentleman that had came and adopted all of the dogs, although he didn’t want to share the information eventually my charm won him over. Who can say no to a great grand mother?
I then called a friend who works at the county records office and had him look at the business license, for the Chinese Buffet and Low and behold, it is the same man!
I hope this awakens you to the dangers of your local Chinese Buffet, Jesus has talked to me and he told me “It’s dog. Chinese food is made out of dog. Listen to me Susan, you’ve got to tell them, Generals Sao’s is Dog!!!