• How The Muppets Stole Heterosexuality and Morality From America

    January 9, 2012 2:44 am 16 comments
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  • There are many pop culture phenomena that have contributed to the downfall of Heterosexual Morality in America, but one of the first signs of a decaying youth began with one show depicting a thinly-veiled portrayal of the black market party scene in the homosexual crowd. This show was The Muppets, a propaganda series devoted to converting young children to sodomy. They have recently encountered a revival with a movie released by Disney in order to pander to a new demographic using celebrity tokens of sin like Selena Gomez, Zach Galiafinakis, Jason Segel, Mickey Rooney, Sarah Silverman and Jack Black. The Muppets created a shocking trend among youth that will only reach more staggering heights if this is not stopped.

    One of the things that scares me most about The Muppets are the celebrity alliances they make to promote their illegitimate lifestyle to the young crowds. Above you can see the most famous muppet, Kermit, draping himself on famous transsexual Lady Gaga’s terrifying body in a bid to gain her homosexual fans to power his steamroller of sodomy. When children see that a famous celebrity endorses the Muppets, they become inclined to listen to what they are saying and sooner than you can say “Be careful, after all this isn’t Veggie Tales!” they’ve morphed into deluded homosexuals.

    One of the most clear sources of The Muppets’ homosexual tendencies are in the songs. The Rainbow Connection, It’s Not That Easy Being Green, Mahna Mahna, among other songs are all about the homosexual lifestyle. In the recent Muppets movie, the two characters, Jason Segel and Walter, sing a song about their questioning of their sexuality called “Man or Muppet”. It is extremely clear that The Muppets provide an allegory for homosexuality, and this idea is propelled even further by the fact that the man who created them, Jim Hanson, is responsible for sinfests like Sesame Street (with the homosexual couple Bert and Ernie), and Bear in the Big Blue House (a show about a pedophilic bear, a member of the homosexual subculture).

    One of the most vicious Muppets is Miss Piggy. Miss Piggy is a hermaphroditic pig adorning itself in designer clothing when that money could be spent more rationally on things like the Church and Republican campaigns. It has a creepy homosexual stalkerish attraction to the frog Kermit, displaying both sodomy and bestiality. Miss Piggy is a predator who scares me to death. Miss Piggy seems to be some sort of homosexual feminist ideal created as a role model for women to become more assertive. But Miss Piggy is simply too intense. Likewise, her costar, Kermit, is terrifyingly passive.

    Kermit the frog is an inappropriately submissive frog. He is effeminate and is a disgrace to my masculinity. He sings songs about how much rainbows inspire him and how hard life is because he is different. Kermit is an analogy for the young homosexual, effetely whining while being dominated by forces of power. And yet, Kermit has attracted a huge liberal fanbase and has inspired that personality to rise among young men who would rather court bears at the gay club (Fozzy and Kermit’s friendship is a reference to this) than be a Good Heterosexual. Kermit resists when Miss Piggy with it’s feminine display of gender tries to lure him into relationships, because he’d rather be singing about flashy sparkles in the water and the rainbows.

    What scares me most about the Muppets is the amount of influence it has held over children for the past 40 years. Children should not be seeing this obvious homosexual propaganda and it has paved a clear road to the disastrous lifestyles being made mainstream these days. Instead of watching The Muppets, I recommend more church. Do Family Time and watch what your children do. It’s the difference of homosexuality or heterosexuality, and you don’t want to make the wrong decision.

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    About The Author
    Christopher Christenson Republican, American, Christian, Man, Carnivore, White, Hero, Genius, Brave. All words that adequately describe Christopher Christenson. At the ripe young age of 28, Christopher has been writing for Christwire for quite a while, when he isn't warding off the North Koreans from attacking or mentoring youth at his church. Because of his young age, he is able to connect with the young people whilst still charming our beloved elderly. Christopher is fascinated by the grotesque trends among youth and will stop at nothing to investigate. You can contact him on his website.

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