• How To Trap A Hipster

    January 25, 2012 2:15 am 47 comments
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  • When President Barack Hussein O’Spendhappy was giving his State of the Union address tonight, he forget a few people on whom we should be blaming all our problems.  Sure, there’s Obama Momma Shaniquahs of America ruining our economy with all her Obamacare babies and socialist democrats who enable the entitlement society, but those are people we’ve long known about.

    There is one other demographic, the very ones who came out in record numbers to put Obama into office only four years ago that are ruining this great country that aren’t so well known yet.


    Hipsters are the new age hippies.  They revel in drugs and musky Faygo orgies, popping out unsheathed loins and pregnant bellies 9 months later and then wanting to charge it all up on their Obamacare cards.   Yes, you may think only inner city people are mooching the system, but hipsters may be an even greater evil.

    Most hipsters come from a decent home.  Their parents are good people, doctors, lawyers, judges, teachers.  But these kids, for whatever reason, don’t think they should have to work.  They like to go on these new Marxism sites like Napster.com or Pirating Bay (a Chinese version of Napster) to steal movies and music from Hollywood.  They then go to their little online communes like Reddit.com (a site where they give each other tips on how to grow maryjane and then moleste those they drug), and then when their bodies become all leprosy ridden with meth destruction and prostituted scabies, they run to the nearest ER and charge up a bigger medical bill for all of us to pay off.  These little drug toking, Pabst blue ribbon harlots are nothing but trouble.

    Sure, in America we cannot help fund Hipster Trap Company and spread these traps of watery Pabst, cheap cameras, and scuba diving gear without ACLU jumping down our throats for bear clamping these drug addled fools.  I wish it were legal, because these little slit eyed drug scamps would not even feel the pain before it was too late.

    So the best thing we can do is get Obama out of office, make Obamacare impossible to get and let these waifs either crawl back to mommy and daddy, or starve on the streets.  America has a bleak future and we don’t have time for these future homeless hobos to go around with their antiwar-mongering and treating to make gays the new blacks of America.  We cannot afford to do the 60s and 70s and all those civil rights protests all over again.

    So the greatest anti-hipster trap of all?  Get their godking Obama out of office!

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    About The Author
    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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