Any Good Christian knows that God created the world. God created the world perfectly, with Moral Americans giving him emotional support; with Canadians, Europeans, Australians, Asians and Blacks to laugh at; with hipstersexuals and emosexuals to present him with a fun challenge, basically they’re the villains in his video game; and a labyrinth known as the countries and continents completing it for his own personal enjoyment. However, the incessant liberals dispute this, arguing that we can’t prove the existence of God and that it simply happened as a result of the Big Bang. Ignoring the fact that the theory is a double entendre that seems to want us to believe that a bunch of particles are engaging in an orgy, that’s illogical, to steal a quote from my fictional nemesis Spock. Something cannot come from nothing.
Liberals are hypocrites, it’s a reality that stands out to all but them. It’s allegedly racist to say Barack Hussein Obama looks like a monkey, but it’s okay to say Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse. Gay marriage yes, but no to polygamy and bestiality which are basically at the same moral level. Tax the rich. Obviously there are going to be potholes in their pseudoscience as well.
More evidence of the homogay evil controlling science
As a responsible conservative reporter, I feel the duty to research what the nemeses say. I read their books, the ones that claim that God does not exist and that they know all because they’re pretentious narcissists. In one, it mentioned that as the universe is constantly expanding, it cools as well. This would hypothetically make sense, considering how the matter is spread out further, leading to less collision and thus, less thermal energy emitted. But Christopher, you may ask, there are so many stars, and nebulae are forming all the time. My response? Well first, you’re probably a liberal if you’re saying that. Second, if the Big Bang is to be believed, the universe is constantly expanding at a rate faster than a human can comprehend. If the dirty Europeans at CERN are to be trusted, the universe could be expanding at a speed faster than the speed of light. It takes a star a few thousand years to form. The expansion of the universe would thus definitely outweigh the speed of star formation, and would barely compensate.
So, if the universe is cooling from the constant expansion, doesn’t that contradict the idea of global warming? Sure, you may say, there’s the atmosphere, that provides a barrier from the unGodly aspects of space. Rockets can break that barrier at a certain speed. For the expansion of space at the rate the liberal commie scientists want us to believe, that speed is much faster than that at a rocket. This would mean that earth would be hypothetically receiving a lot of the effects of space considering the speed and power of the matter outside of our little safety bubble. Allegedly, the static on televisions is part of the Big Bang. Wouldn’t, then, that mean that the earth would in fact be cooling? If the matter is exuding less thermal energy by the second, science would have you believe yes.
And yet, we feel no heat. We don’t feel cold either. Antarctica exists. Religion triumphs over science. Science is a group of contradictory lies. Astronomy contradicts the concept of the environment, and we realize that intelligent design is the only logical reasoning for everything, and explains everything in an organized and well-thought out manner. Scientists can go die in a hole for their conceit because they’re so wrong and I have no idea why anyone would believe anything they say except out of non-conformity. I dream of a world in which people would not argue that they believe in science. Science cannot support itself, and once again conservatism wins.