My friends, it pains me to say that I’m afraid that the pokemon will never seize to bombard our children’s imaginations with their video games and semi-tactful card trading games. Our Japanese foes have used the pokemon games and merchandise to train our children to turn against us one day at the simple command of which pokemon demon to summon in order to take us out in our sleep.
I have spent many hours in my office researching the pokemon and all there could be to know about the foul creatures. While researching diligently, I saw news that a SIXTH generation of the pokemon creatures is in the process of being made in the pokemon headquarters in Kanto, Japan. I managed to catch a glimpse of some of the pokemon being tested. These are some of the new and seemingly anticipated pokemon that will be out by next Autumn.
(NOTE: THESE ARE SKETCHES IN THE MAKING THE ACTUAL POKEMON MAY DIFFER)
The Electric/Sensei Pokemon: Kitstache
Kitstache is one of the newly conceptualized pokemon of the highly anticipated sixth generation of the pokemon series. This new pokemon is going to be classified as an electric/sensei type of pokemon. Noting its mustache like fur on its mouth gives it the story that it was taken into the idea of a former lord of the lands that Raiden, Japanese God of Lightning, had destroyed in a fury of thunderstorms. The lord was spared and thus turned into a beast in which the pokemon owners and artists made into a cute and cuddly toy-thing. There is currently no recent news of any prior or post forms in which are quite common amongst the pokemon games.
The Dark/Death Pokemon: Dethion
Dethion is a new addition to one of the pokemon series’ most popular creatures; the Evee Evolutions. This particular one is supposedly the satanic of the evees. Dethion was inspired by the dark lord himself as well as the young hipster fashions and Gothic fashions of today that capture our children’s eyes. From what the artists have been debating with this particular pokemon is if it will scare away the younger viewers or appear, “too cute” to other older viewers. Dethion is not a final pokemon in the line up, but it is in much deliberation.
The Light/Normal Pokemon: Ivogress
Ivogress is the white tiger of China made all cuddly and cute. It would seem that the only way to convince the parents that this generation of the pokemon games is quite alright is the give the pokemon the appearance of white and gold. White and gold are often associated with spiritual icons such as catholic statues of saints and the pope’s clothes and crosier. This pokemon has blue eyes in which to divert the fact that the previous pokemon has red eyes. Most people, especially children, associate the color “blue” with the word, “good” and the color, “red” with the word, “bad”. So in order to dodge the bullets of angry and upset parents the makers of pokemon have clearly recognized that blue eyes are a better way to try and convince our children that pokemon are OK.
That’s all the information I have on the subject. If you know more about the upcoming generation of pokemon feel free to protest it and ban it for our children’s sake and for God’s.