• Rugby, The Homosexual Version of Football

    January 2, 2012 1:32 am 83 comments
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    Exhausted thighs quivering under the weight of a sweaty pile of men grinding upon them from behind, a group of husky homosexuals participate in a new sport called ‘rugby sevens’. Euphamism and a grand spectacle of drenched sweat bodies of burly men grasping each other in all sorts of angles of disarray, many fans of this European ‘pastime’ fail to understand the secret homosexuality that occurs on the field and off the field. And terrifyingly, this hidden gay tradition is making its way into college campuses all across America.

    There is a new European sporting fad that’s now also taking root in the American Southwest and spreading like a plague across the heartland. The sport is called ‘rugby’ and as you will soon realize, it is a very upclose, personal and uncomfortable version of brutish gayplay fashioning itself after football.

    To trace the history of rugby one needs to look no further than the etymology for the name.  In 1864, a cabal of English homosexuals founded a ‘men’s club’ named The Rook in Warwickshire, a territory of central England.  While gossip and suspicions were that men joined the fraternal organization to carry out bizarre acts of homosexuality, many notable royals and those with wealth wielded their power to shield their actions from societal reprocussion.

    “To rook” in olde English means ‘to thrust a straight line’.  The in joke was the homosexuals ‘rooked’ each other, their straight lines being their male members.  The name of the club definitely drew continued ire and gossip, and perhaps in attempts to lessen societal suspicion and damnation upon the rook, in late 1866 the memebers voted to change the name of the club to “The Rugby School”.

    Rugby literally means “From the rook fortress”, meaning essentially “a homosexual fortress”.  Before the age of the internet and communication, this name was only known to the ‘in crowd’ of the gay community that they had a place to secretly practice their perversion.  The gays in England had created themselves a safe haven under the code name “Rugby”.

    Seasoned rugby players are confident and aggressive in expressing their homosexuality. In this image, a freshman rugby student is being stripped of pants and is going to be ‘scrummed’ from behind. If your son has moved to the Southern California area and has joined a rugby squad, quick, decisive action is needed as most rugby players are coerced into a gay act within one week of practice. The freshman in this image will never forget his first scrummed throbbing gristle.

    In its modern incarnation, a game of rugby is as raunchy as a group of desperate cat-nipped toking Vegas crack strippers jostling a drunken Hugh Hefner at 3am.  Desperate hands clamor for a touch of flesh, hoping to get some sort of secret jollies while a crowd of somewhat intrigued yet disgusted passerbys look at the pathetic and obvious flesh fest.

    While in the United Kingdom rugby players have shown a higher incidence of suffering from syphillis, gay bowel disease and sore throats, the same disease vectors and trends are now being seen in the American southwest collegiate areas where rugby has grown popular.

    The Malibu Health Center reports:  "Since the local university opted to allow rugby on campus, we have seen a startling 38% increase in the need for STD medication and a disturbing 43% increase in the sale of magnesium sulfate for colon related cleansing.  Citing Hippa privacy laws, the Health Center could not state the activities that may have lead to the startling numbers but it was implied that a new “fad sport” was the uniting factor in all the patients.

    It is vital for parents to realize and remember that Rugby serves as a secret society for homosexuals.  As the sport grows in popularity, gays gain more support and rights on a global scale. Gay marriage and feminized men are largely allowed throughout all of Europe and now in Asia due to desensitization of the foreign societies after being exposed to years of the must lascivious lancing acts known to mankind.

    Men who play rugby do not need pads and helmets, for they do not deliver potentially life-ending, bone-snapping hits upon their opponents.  Such powerful and manly gamely is only seen in the NFL.  Instead, rugby players force and thrust.  They slowly rub their meaty, moisture pumped thighs around one another and slowly gyrate a tensed hip into the nearest body they can find.  Everything about rugby is slow, brutish and gruesome, hallmarks of the “bear homosexual” community who served as the founding fathers of this perverted game.

    If you suspect your child has joined a rugby club at his school, time and knowledge is of utmost importance.  Most young college men who are sucked into the dark, cavernous sink hole of rugby only have an average of one week before they will be “initialized” and pledged into their local team.  The rituals to rugby are dark and secret as those of Scientology, but it is quite well known that fresh rugby players always have to play ‘power bottom’ to the team’s captain before they start their first game.

    If that is not startling enough, know that your son will also publically receive some sort of “reversed throbbing gristle”, also known as “fielding a scrum” from behind.  Scrumming occurs when players on the same team, or opposite team, pull down the pants of a rugby player and wag their male members and jock straps between his exposed backsides.  They try to pretend they are “going for the ball”, as seen in the image above, but the pure thrill of it for these poor excuses for athletes is nothing but public exhibition and shaming the new member.

    Vital to parents isunderstanding terms you may overhear your son saying while he’s home on winter break or perhaps see on his Facebook wall.  “Feeding a scrum” is only the tip of the iceberg of horror in rugby vernacular.  A few other terms common to this secret society:

    10-metre law

    Every time a player is tackled, all defenders within ten meters are allowed to dogpile and fulfill their desires upon whoever is unfortunate to be on the bottom.  Players are only required to move when the tackled victim screams “Mercy!”

    18th man

    The 18th letter of the alphabet is “R”.  Remember that ruby was created by homosexuals, so tons of arbitrary symbolism that uses a woman’s whimsy logic is used.  The “18th” man is the R man, or rugby man.  The Rugby Man on each team has an understood obligation to fulfill the needs of all his teammates after an exhausting game or long practice.  Most new members to a rugby team are forced to be the 18th man during their pledge week.

    40/20 rule

    Instead of traditional coin flips, rugby 7 players use the 40/20 rule to decide who gets to play power bottom and power top during their games.  Outside their locker rooms, the players engage in a game of slap sack where they run around without clothing and thump each other in the nethers.  If a player winces, he is out.  Whichever team can endure the game the longest without a player wincing gets to be The Dominant 7th and the captain of that team gets to play power top for 40 minutes of the game.  The losing team only gets to be top for 20 minutes of the game. In a game of Rugby 7s, the “Dominant 7th” get to play all the aggressive chords of carnality upon the bodies of those who lose for 40 minutes, ususually leaving them more spry and able to run up and down the field.


    Above the horizontal

    In this shocking image, Albierto Ferdinando is on the receiving end of a “Feeding the Scrum” moment. His team lost the 40/20 slapping game, thus giving the captain (notice the ATH armband) of the Sky Blues the advantage of a mount during the opening moments of the game. Ferdinando relaxes himself as a joyfoul Raul Mortiago prepares to strip off the shorts and perform the scrumming technique to loosen the ball and give his team an advantage. This is all homosexuality masked under the guise of ‘game rules’.

    Ankle tap

    When a player if finally overwhelmed by a massive pile of men atop him, he can tap the ankle of anyone and it is understood that he’s had all he can endure. It’s very common for ‘ankle taps’ to go largely ignored.

     Ball and all

    A sick term that refers to players who are seasoned and ‘backside compliant’, that is to say fans of receiving the ol’ SN2 backside attack. When they are tackled under a massive, hidden pile, they are willing to take ‘ball and all’.

     Banana kick

     Illegally kicking an opposing team’s defenders in the ‘banana’. A twenty yard pentaly is usually inforced and rugby fines are often carried out as forced labor, such as having to ‘nurse’ the injured area of the victim area back to health.


    Coddling the sinsnake.

     Dominant tackle

    A tackle carried out by the winners of the 40/20 slapping game.

    Downward pressure

    Various Roman-Greco wrestling techniques are used in rugby. A pinning technique is literally called applying ‘downward pressure’, the intended double entendre obvious to the most basic cretin.

    Dump tackle

    The tackler wraps his arms around the ball carrier’s thighs and lifts him a short distance in the air before forcibly driving him to the ground. The tackler must go to ground with the ball carrier for the tackle to be legal. A dump tackle which drops the ball carrier on his head or neck is literally known as a lusty spear tackle.


    A defending player in contact with the ball-carrier’s groing during or after the completion of a tackle aggressively and illegally touching the face of the ball-carrier with their hand or forearm. There may be different motivations for this action, such as wanting to provoke a reaction from the ball-carrier in order to gain an epic mount, usuually done when attempting to establish dominance over the opponent, or as a symptom of sexual frustration.

    Feeding the scrum

    To roll one’s male member into the scrum (i.e., the gootch) of a weakened player. The chief dominant player is allowed to scrum via the tunnel formed by the front row forwards of the two teams binding together. A subdued player is forced to ‘relax’ and toot his backside skyward, at which time application of the rule is practised. The relaxed player grimaces as the dominant seventh asserts himself upon the scrum thus reducing the chances of the other team successfully striking for the ball and gaining possession of it. “Feeding!” is an ironic accusation sometimes called out by spectators of a game in response to a player taking advantage of the modern application of the rule.


    In this shocking image, Albierto Ferdinando is on the receiving end of a “Feeding the Scrum” moment.  His team lost the 40/20 slapping game, thus giving the captain (notice the ATH armband) of the Sky Blues the advantage of a mount during the opening moments of the game.  Ferdinando relaxes himself as a joyfoul Raul Mortiago prepares to strip off the shorts and perform the scrumming technique to loosen the ball and give his team an advantage.  This is all homosexuality masked under the guise of ‘game rules’.Grapple tackle

    This deadly technique is most famously used by the most notorious rugby team, The All Blacks. A team noted for violence, brute strength and masochism, it is no surprise they hail from Australia and were originally a team of all aborigine warriors known to ‘bite the flesh’ of their opponents and perform dark rituals before every game. Beyond all these things, most teams note the scariest thing about the All Blacks are the grapple tackle techniques they use for their games.

                       The grapple tackle is a choke hold that takes only 5 seconds to learn and is considered a move reserved for 7th degree black belts.

                       Over 25 rugby players have died after falling victim to a grapple tackle from the All Blacks.

                       While the new version of the All Blacks are far less violence than their predecessors and mostly Caucasian, they continue to keep

    well versed in dark ritual (as seen in their tribal dances) and absolutely terrifying choking techniques.

    The All Blacks doing a dance of necromancer origins, a macabre throwback of death celebration choreographed to the zombie praise anthem “Thriller”. Wild bears and untamed manes shaking as they revel in the spirits of outright lunacy, by dancing alone the All Blacks tend to scare over 70% of their more timid opponents into defeat.


    The 9th player in a group of “Rugby 10s”, the hooker does as his name implies. When teams are strapped for cash on a long road trip, it is the hooker’s double duty to ‘earn’ whatever extra he can to feed the team and keep the tour bus gassed up.

    Loose carry

    A referee can order that a player assume the scrum position if he intentionally drops the ball when it appears he will be subdued by the opposing team’s captain. This rule is to ensure more scrummings occur. Just like fraternity men will intentionally lose games of beer pong to drink, rugby players will create rules such as “loose carry” to make sure they get their turn to drink of iniquity.

    Loose forward

    In Rugby Tens, the “loose forward” always must wear the number 13 for ritual reasons we have not been able to discover. What is known is that during a scrum that results in a loose ball and touchdown, the loose forward is also allowed to scrum the victim opponent who fumbled.

    Pack down

    To form a scrum.


    Hall of fame rugby players are designated by the sport’s original title: rooks.

    Sin bin

    The area between two locker rooms where players hold the 40/20 pregame tournament.
    Surrender tackle

    When a player is so forcefully scrummed by the other team that he looses consciousness, the referee will call a ‘surrender tackle’ to allow the player to be brought to safety.

    This short glossary of rugby terms and traditions have hopefully opened your eyes to what is taking place today.  Rugby is not a sport:  it is a homosexual institution.

    Each of the presented ‘sporting concepts’ are flagrant displays of man-man relations disguised as a sport.   Rugby fans will try to maintain and say that NFL players are weak for wearing pads and helmets.  That sort of logic is like saying a WWII soldier was a sissy for wearing a soldier as he stormed the beaches at Normandy.

    When you’re engaged in a man’s battle when your life is on the line, you wear tough clothing and armor.  NFL is all about those things:  battles and victory.  Rugby is more focused on tight daisy duke shorts and sweaty shirts, with typically balding Euopean men trying to guzzy up new ways to cop a feel on each other and feel okay about it.

    Friends, let us warn people about the dangers of rugby.  Today we have shown how this ‘sport’ is spreading promiscuity upon our solid college men.  Young men in college should join fraternities and cheer for their school’s football team.  They should remain chaste and focused on studies, not be lured into the intrepid practice of homosexuality in rugby.

    Remember, if you have a son you suspect is playing rugby, act immediately.  After only a week, 2/5 rugby players are introduced to homosexuality and many keep playing the sport for years, proving that there may be no true return from gay choices in life.  Protect our country and our culture from rugby, my friends.

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    Mike Watson Intrepid, bold and dashing, Mike Watson's investigative reporting prowess is only outdone by his burning desire to restore conservative values and morality to America. With a unique penchant for purity, Mike Watson's TV, Radio and writing inspire millions to know the truth behind American culture. Also on Facebook

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