(chrisTwire Denver) —Today, in his first ever playoff game, Denver Bronco Quarterback and Awesome guy Tim Tebow single handedly led his team to victory in the opening round playoffs over the Pittsburg Steelers. The Steelers were heavy favorites to win the game; they came into the game with the number one ranked defense in all of football. This did not matter to pro-lifer Tim Tebow who picked apart the steel curtain and passed for 316 yard, ran for 50 and scored three touchdowns. This yardage was the most Pittsburg has given up all year.
The game was the first overtime game using the new NFL rules. Tim Tebow didn’t need these rules though and won the game using the old rules on one play. The play was divine; the Steelers came after Tebow hard as they recognized he was the greatest threat in the history of human athletics. Tim saw this, dropped back and fired a holy cannon to Demaryius Thomas for an 80 yard touchdown pass and the victory.
Great moment: Nearly every Denver player came back onto the field to celebrate with the home fans. Tebow took a victory lap and slapped hands with fans as the crowd chanted his name.
Tebow has now firmly established himself as the greatest player in bronco history
Originally projected a later round pick, Denver was mysteriously guided to pick him in the first round. It turned out the pick was inspired and he has flourished after guiding the Denver Broncos from being the worst team in the NFL to the best.
He has even had to overcome the sabotage of executive vice president of football operations John Elway. The former quarterback Elway, in a jealous rage, got his team to lose the last three games of the year in an attempt to keep glory away from Tim Tebow. However Tim has overcome this trickery using the power of Tebowing.
The stats differentiating Elway and Tebow are amazing
- NFL Playoff win Percentage: Elway .666 Tebow 1.000
- BCS Championships Won : Elway 0 Tebow 2
- Bowl Games : Elway 0 Tebow 4
- CW moral rating: Elway 6 Tebow 48,785
- Playoff game Losses: Elway 7 Tebow 0
- NFL Career Interceptions Elway 226 Tebow 6
Next week, thanks to a generous donation from Deacon Bowers, the fellowship will be reporting and twittering live from Foxborough as the Tebow heads there to roll over the New England patriots. Please check chrisTwire Saturday. Also remember to buy the book now for yourself and an extra for a friend who needs saving.
“Sunsets are orange and purple because Jesus loves the Broncos and Tim Tebow” — Alex Keating