In our sinful world the moral, Christian, right faces many dark and Satanic encounters in day to day life. Whether it be driving to Church for a splendid Sunday semenar, or having your wife gather the appropriate foods to provide cooking and support for the family, you must keep your Christianity safe and pure from the sinners. To do these, there are several ways to prepare for a possible homogay, emo, or liberal attack. If we keep strong to our principles, the sinners will lose their slimy, sinful grasp on our young and growing Young Christians.
1. Never let the wife travel alone.
Women, as made by God, are weak willed and prone to sinful desires if left unattended. Even when at the grocery store or going to the ladies’ room at Church they must be kept in surveillance. It is a man’s duty. I recommend the leash. It may be necessary to keep a flitatious female in line and prevent them from getting out of sight. This will prevent sinful outcums and possible fornication. Remember, they don’t know better!
2. Request that gay, athiest, liberal, emo, or other demon spawn are not in the same learning environment as your Christian children.
These sinful creatures should not be exposed to your moral and well raised children. Surveys show that most children that engage in homogay activity or skip Church do so under influence of sinner children from school. Talk to your children’s principal and make sure they are removed and hopefully reconcile with the Lord.
3. Censor, Censor, Censor
Nothing is worse than a video game or TV show that provokes your family into self abuse or curious sinful activity takes no part in your household. It is your Christian duty to dispel and dispense any and all forms of sinful entertainment. Hidden cameras act as a God’s eye and make sure no pornagrpahic content is being viewed. Make sure that they cannot access homegrown terrorist websites that enlist suicide bombers. And most important, step in and stop your child from pleasuring their sin toys. You catch them on camera, you step in and reprimand. Self abuse leads to experimentation with Satan. Your children will thank you when they become proper Christian adults!
4. Always go to Church. Also consider having your religious leader over for dinner!
Church keeps your family in line with Jesus. That should be well known at this point. But what might not be thought of is having your local religious leader over for dinner! Your wife can cook a nice meal while he instructs your children on proper morals and etiquette. Having some extra Christian insight is always helpful.
5. Always carry a Bible
The Bible is your Shield. Your Sword. Your Link to Jesus. The Bible can put athiest mongers to silence with Godful quotes. The Bible can reinspire faith on the homogay and emo creatures you may encounter. The Bible is also a thick and powerful shield for batting hostile sinners and uncooperative wives if need be!