Blacks Nationwide Mourn Closing of America’s Oldest KFC
Shreveport, LA – The local black people of Shreveport, Louisiana, are in mourning today after the oldest KFC east of the Mississippi closed its doors for good. Known as the “Lucky Clucky” by locals, the KFC on Martin Luther King Jr. BLVD was a favorite stop for families after long church services on Sundays and before heading to the dime casino on Saturdays.
Local man Antoine Jenkins reported, “They ain’t none other KFC like this. They got the skin just right with the salt and their apple pies was so sweet. If Poo Bear was there as night manager, he would even give you a OLD E malt liquor with it. Where we go now?”
The sentiment was the same for most of the African-American community of Shreveport. New local ordinances have really put a hampering on the loose books of many restaurants in certain neighborhoods. With increased inspections and scrutiny, many ‘inner-city’ businesses have been forced to close.
Area doctors believe that the more restaurants such as KFC leave the urban core of the city, health may improve in the African-American community.
Reverend Tommy Green-Jackson thinks the KFC was targeted by a racist city council. “If loving chicken is wrong, I don’t want to be right. We will protest this shutdown with all our might. Glory!”
The reverend continued: “This KFC was more than just chicken for our community. It was family. It was fellowship. It was good. Now the man has gone and shut it down, but we shall overcome! We shall have our chicken again.”
To date, there seems to be no local plans to reopen the local franchise. The Reverend Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson were not available for immediate aggrandizing comment.
The black community purportedly plans to petition their president Obama to create a national day of mourning for the loss, a day after Black History Month is finally over.
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Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
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11:57 pm
L.N. my prayers are with you and your family.
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12:17 am
Again with the racist comments. You seriously want to keep calling me black. You seriously think it’s a degrading thing, that it’s an insult.
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12:26 am
How is a message of love and solidarity racist ? Unless you think that there is something wrong with being black ?
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12:27 am
I’m white, yet you keep calling me black. You keep using hateful things about black people to describe me. Obviously you think being black is degrading.
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12:42 am
I don’t think being black is degrading.
For a self described non-racist “white” you get extremely upset when i call you black, maybe you are the racist here…
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5:19 am
CI, when you repeatedly call someone something they are not over and over, it tends to grind the nerves of that person.
L.N. is not getting mad at the word “black”. He is getting mad at the fact you keep calling him something he is not even though he repeatedly tells you that your wrong.
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1:30 pm
I know that you are new here but LN is a very rude person. Several unscientific polls among Christwire Flockers have found that he/she whatever is the most despised person on the site. He never has anything good to say and just makes absolutely rude comments filled with obscenity.
In fact he recently was very sexist and went on a anti-woman rage on Blanche Beechams last article on valentines cards.
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11:41 am
And we’ve been over this before, Robert, Bitcham thinks women shouldn’t have rights, so I’m going to make her regret saying those things, and when you people are actually at least willing to agree to disagree instead of going on a rampage of insulting people just because of something they enjoy that you don’t, THAT is when I’ll stop insulting you bastards. Hell, you even wanted to know what I liked so you could ‘write an article about it’ and lie about everything.
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11:57 pm
What really bugs me is how blacks get all this special treatment. They have BET: Black Entertainment Television They have their own magazines: Ebony and Jet. They have the Congressional Black Caucus, the NAACP, the Black History Month, Affirmative Action and Historically Black Colleges. How is all of that not wrong? It’s just not fair and now they will try to get this KFC turned into some museum or something, saying it is part of their history and all taxpayers should be forced to keep it open.
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12:04 am
I have been trying to get the Starz Black channel blocked for months. DirecTV is just no help.
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12:21 am
DirecTV just feels to minority-pleasing with their wild, cheap deals.
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12:28 am
for once i have to agree but for different reasons, having these conventions and such simply separates different races, we should all simply not care. Honestly no one should care at all, someone told a racist joke, who cares, someone who is white married a black woman, doesn’t matter. we shouldn’t even acknowledge race i mean after all it is just the difference in a single chemical make up out of thousands in our bodies. Melanin is nothing to get worked up over after all, so instead of being politically correct all the time, lets simply not care, no one gets special treatment, and no one feels excluded because of their race.
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1:59 am
I just hope these dangerous people don’t take their loss out on the innocents local whites. If they don’t have their fried chicken, hopefully plentiful grape soda will be enough to appease their African rage.
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2:04 am
wow super racist.
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3:05 am
This makes me feel sad.
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1:32 pm
It will be OK, there are many more KFC’s out there. There is always Popeyes
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7:25 am
I’m black and I think KFC is shit….
Then again, my mother makes pretty good fried chicken, soooooooooooooooo….
But yeah, to assume that blacks would mourn the loss of a mediocore chicken restraunt dips into racis territory.
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10:36 am
Did your mom ever work for KFC maybe that’s where she learned to cook up that soooooooooo good fried chicken?
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11:41 am
Nah. When she came here from Jamaica, she started out as an accountant and became a nurse. She’s now trying to become a mid wife. She makes good fried chicken, but she despises greasy food.
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1:34 pm
so you’re one of those Jamaican blacks? That explains it.
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12:59 pm
Associating the Blacks with chicken is not racist – they were created by God to love that wholesome treat, among others. That would be like saying it is wrong to assume that all Jamaicans are high on grass.
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10:35 am
My heart goes out to all those folks in Shreveport who are suffering from this great loss. Sure the food was great, but these people have lost a local historical landmark as well. They are in my prayers today.
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4:24 pm
Why do black people just eat so damn much? Greed I tell you, greed.
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