• Blacks Nationwide Mourn Closing of America’s Oldest KFC

    February 9, 2012 11:48 pm 23 comments

      Shreveport, LA – The local black people of Shreveport, Louisiana, are in mourning today after the oldest KFC east of the Mississippi closed its doors for good.  Known as the “Lucky Clucky” by locals, the KFC on Martin Luther King Jr. BLVD was a favorite stop for families after long church services on Sundays and before heading to the dime casino on Saturdays.

    Local man Antoine Jenkins reported, “They ain’t none other KFC like this.  They got the skin just right with the salt and their apple pies was so sweet.  If Poo Bear was there as night manager, he would even give you a OLD E malt liquor with it.  Where we go now?”

    The sentiment was the same for most of the African-American community of Shreveport.  New local ordinances have really put a hampering on the loose books of many restaurants in certain neighborhoods.  With increased inspections and scrutiny, many ‘inner-city’ businesses have been forced to close.

    Area doctors believe that the more restaurants such as KFC leave the urban core of the city, health may improve in the African-American community.

    Reverend Tommy Green-Jackson thinks the KFC was targeted by a racist city council.  “If loving chicken is wrong, I don’t want to be right.  We will protest this shutdown with all our might.  Glory!”

    The reverend continued:  “This KFC was more than just chicken for our community.  It was family.   It was fellowship.  It was good.  Now the man has gone and shut it down, but we shall overcome!  We shall have our chicken again.”

    To date, there seems to be no local plans to reopen the local franchise.  The Reverend Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson were not available for immediate aggrandizing comment.

    The black community purportedly plans to petition their president Obama to create a national day of mourning for the loss, a day after Black History Month is finally over.

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