chrisTwire Asks: African Americans About Black History Month
“chrisTwire asks” is a new regular feature where we ask underwhelming Americans questions about subjects that may interest or challenge them. Most of the topics and questions are user submitted. If you would like to suggest a topic or question, feel free to submit one via Facebook, email, or if you attend a local fellowship you will notice that starting last Sunday, new “chrisTwire asks” receptacles were placed in the foyer.
Questions are then asked to the target audience via phone calls, Facebook chat, Instant Messenger, and on the street.
This articles topic is:
Ask African Americans About Black History Month
(remember, these questions are user submitted, some may be more on-topic than others)
Q. Why is Black History Month the shortest month?
Rayhelle, Seattle WA:
It is the month Martin Luther was born.Waverly, Gary IN:
It is not the shortest month. March can be shorter depending on groundhogs day.Deisha, Houston TX:
Because the Catholics control the calendar.Sammy, Oakland CA:
It has nothing to do with it being the shortest month. It is based on astrology.
Q. Do you think all Americans should appreciate the words and actions of Martin Luther King Jr, Frederick Douglas, Rosa Parks, Marcus Garvey and Harriett Tubman?
Shawna, Chicago IL:
They are all heroes to our people and should be celebrated by all.Carl, Springfield OR:
Who is Frederick Douglas?Kendrick, Anaheim CA:
YesDerrick, Newton MA:
People of all races and creeds would be better served if they followed the words and actions of these individuals.
Q. Are you for black suffrage?
Adam, Oklahoma City OK:
No!Claire, St Louis MO:
This is the 20th century, no man or woman should experience suffrage no matter what color they are.Oscar, Lexington KY:
No!Brooke, Rockford IL:
Of course not, I am Black!
Q. How do you celebrate Kwanzaa on a leap year?
Tyrone, Miami FL:
Kwanza is a month long, it doesn’t matter if there is a extra dayStephanie, Minneapolis MN:
Leap years only happen once in a while. I don’t remember what happened last year.Karen, Shreveport LA:
Is leap year a real thing? I thought it was a measure of speed in space.Sharice, Los Angeles CA:
Leap year is in December you idiot.
Q. What do you envy most about whites?
Sophie, Atlanta GA:
Their hairBrandon, Las Vegas NV:
WomenCarl, Springfield OR:
MoneyThomas, New Orleans LA:
Home ownership
Q. Do you know what emancipation OR proclamation means?
Andrew, Seattle WA:
They mean the same thing!Vernon, Dallas TX:
They are part of the bill of rights.Leroy, Memphis, TN:
It’s what minors get when a Judge thinks they have abusive parents.Sapphire, Columbus MO:
Duh!
Q. Is black hair greasy because of fried chicken?
Germaine Little Rock AR:
No, it’s because soap dries your hair.Vince, Wichita KS:
Everyone has oily hair.Samuel, Tulsa OK:
Liking fried foods is a cultural thing, it has to do with the climate.Daeshanda, Santa FE NM:
U Racist!
Q. Where was Obama Born?
Winston, Newark NJ:
IllinoisBenson, Honolulu HI:
AfricaConrad, East Lansing MI:
IndonesiaRichard, Denver CO:
Washington DC
Q. If you found $100, what would you do with it?
Rondall, Atlanta GA:
Buy gasXander, Tacoma WA:
I’d buy 100 Lottery TicketsRodell, Oakland CA:
I would get my cell phone out of hawk and buy a new ringtone.Lucia, Las Vegas NV:
I’d get sooo stoned.
Q. What has Jermy Lin done to Carmelo Anthony?
Abby, Sacramento CA:
Who?Nashawn, Denver CO:
He has ruined Melo’s game.Carl, Springfield OR:
Who?Emmet Las Vegas NV:
Who?
That is all for today. Thanks to all that submitted questions. Remember to submit your own for next time!
..
.MA
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud

August filled out his own questions 4 time’s good for you.
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I agree… though I suspect somethng along the lines of 100 and these were just the four that were “Ideal” for his survey.
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No but you were practically the embodiment of discord, why switch to pinky pie, even though this is from the part where she is insane.
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What the hell are you talking about? You sound like a skrillex.
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HA i knew it you were never a brony, if you were you would know what we were talkin about, liar.
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Well, I didn’t stay in “The Herd” for very long, so I was never privy to all the esoteric secrets.
I don’t like to talk about it, but I had to leave because they all had lank, greasy hair and infected lip piercings. Also because they stuck a horsehair buttplug “tail” up my poor little freckle and made me clip-clop around in little plastic hooves while making me chew on their blue-veined “bits”.
There, I’ve said it.
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And they made me listen to the skrillex while they did it.
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That’s disturbing. In every way.
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You hung out with the wrong Bronies there exbrony…That is not normal for Bronies…
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Ouro, True. Most Bronies are more into emu than brostep.
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I kinda meant the whole creepy act you described…THAT is not normal whatsoever for Bronies…
I’m guessing you meant “Emo” instead of “Emu”. Bronies can be into any type of music…
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Actually, I did mean emu. It’s like dubstep but it samples the mating sounds of large, flightless birds.
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I’m surprised, My research into the ponysexual led me to a much higher level secret brony literature called “cupcakes” that involves quite the bit of sacrificial bloodlust.
You know I know you are young, but I advise that you leave atheism and ponysexualism as soon as you can. Once you face the truth of both of them you won’t be able to handle the sin you have amasted.
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1. I don’t know how old you think i am but you can never be to old or young to be an atheist.
2. Ponysexualism doesn’t exist you are a brony or a pegasister that is it.
3. There is no secret brony literature, no “cupcakes” no occult themes, you act as if we are some cult. Get this in your head, we are fans of a TV show, thats it, no sex acts, no secret literature, just a TV show.
4. I will never be crazy enough to leave atheism and being a brony, atheism frankly makes sense, why does god care if you have sex before you are married, why does he care if you plant two crops in the same field, why does he care about any of that, it makes no sense, i can respect you for believing in god, but i don’t know if i can respect you for believing in the bible. I like atheism, it makes me happy, i dont want some god watching me telling me what to do, i like being able to do what i want as long as it is ethical and law abiding. I like my beliefs and if you think they are sinful well i don’t care about sin, i care about ethics. As for MLP it is a awesome show and i will keep watching it, it doesn’t affect you or your imaginary friend in the sky, or anyone else, so why do you care.
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No such thing as “ponysexualism” because we are not a type of sexuality, we are JUST fans of a tv show. We like a cartoon, that is it!
“Cupcakes” isn’t “secret brony literature” it’s just a fan-made story that happens to be ridiculously gorey. Most Bronies avoid “Cupcakes” as if their life depended on it. Hell, “Cupcakes” has actually RUINED My Little Pony for some Bronies. I read it, while it isn’t for those with weak stomachs, it wasn’t that bad.
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so sweet and tasty
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Just look at that smile, it’s so adorable. Could YOU say no to a face like that?
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August the point of this article was to make black people look stupid these questions were made up.
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I applaud your bravery…I don’t think I would ill comfortable being surrounded by four Afro-Saxons
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I think you are smelly cheese
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Absolutely brilliant August
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This article is so informative and raw. It reveals a great deal about the Afro-saxon community.
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It is fake, get that thorough thick skull, it is fake okay i don’t know how i can make you see simple logic, if you dont understand it, you are simply mentally deficit.
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Wrong! I was involved in questioning many of these tribals on the streets. None of these answers are made up. How could we make them up? None of the Christwire Fellowship is dumb enough to come up with most of these answers.
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If your not all dumb what are you?
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Bruce I appreciate the efforts & trouble both you & the honorable August Weisz go thru for the benefit of many others.
Where I live it would be very, very difficult to do a question & answer session of this particular nature. I would probably have to arrange a trip to Denver in order to speak to the displaced/relocated African population. Something I am not too willing to do.
Once again, you both have shown me that with determination, kindness, God & grit you can look beyond their cursed tribal nature & create an open dialogue.
God Bless Brother August & you, as well, Brother Bruce.
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Bruce, you drew on your walls, you didn’t talk to anyone.
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Every single one of those “answers” is fabricated. Do you know what the word “fabricated” means?
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Claire, don’t you have some “Crafting with cat hair” homework to do?
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Bruce, until you produce a diploma, you’re really in no position to belittle my education.
To answer your question, no. Rather I have to edit my Animal Behavior ethogram on the great blue heron.
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Well, I am working on my transdropificationally transverse spectrum analysis of the green-eared cosmopolitan rat platypus.
See, I can make up fake science-y sounding stuff too.
Get back to crafting with cat hair and coloring between the lines.
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“See, I can make up fake science-y sounding stuff too.”
There’s nothing fake about the paper I’m working on. What part of it confused you? The Animal Behavior part? That’s a class I’m taking. The full name is Biological Bases of Animal Behavior. Perhaps you’re confused by the ethogram part? An ethogram is used to document the various behaviors of a particular species. Or was it the great blue heron that confused you? The great blue heron is the largest heron in North America. I chose to do my ethogram on it because there are currently five residing in a pond near my house. I can email you a copy of my paper if you’d like.
“Get back to crafting with cat hair and coloring between the lines.”
Once again, until you produce a diploma, you have no right to make fun of my very real education.
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Yes, I would love a copy of your paper, but since you blocked me on Facebook, I have no way to privately give you my email address (I got a new one since our annulment).
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Hey Bruce, do your feet smell? Last night when I was in bed I swear I could smell my own feet. It was a strange experience. Just curious if other people go through this.
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“Yes, I would love a copy of your paper, but since you blocked me on Facebook, I have no way to privately give you my email address (I got a new one since our annulment).”
Actually I did not block you on facebook. We can still exchange private messages. I only blocked you from being able to friend request me again. Too bad you’re such a little shit or you would have known that.
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Claire, I know we can send messages to each other. Just like these little love notes you kept sending me:
Claire Snedeker
You realize you’re not funny, right?
Bruce Danus
September 16, 2011
Bruce Danus
August and myself were discussing the same thing about you. How strange. Maybe we should reconcile, what do you think?
Claire Snedeker
September 16, 2011
Claire Snedeker
Except I’m not trying to be amusing. And no, I don’t think we should reconcile. This whole time haven’t you been trying to get me to be your “friend off-site” despite my overt dislike of you and the things you say on Christwire? Didn’t I tell you that I’d possibly consider friending you if you were to write an article saying that you made the whole marriage business up and that we’ve never even met? And what did you do? You wrote another crap article saying that you’re having our “marriage” annulled. I don’t find that amusing at all.
Bruce Danus
September 16, 2011
Bruce Danus
Are you sure you are over 18? You seem to lack basic reasoning skills and emotional control over general facts of life that people should have gained at approximately 16-17 years old. You also have no sense of humor unless it conforms to what you believe is funny(i.e. black men raping another man) and you have an entirely unbelievable love of a Vocational School that even people who went there and have or are teaching there say is worthless. Grow up and join the real world, and when you do, maybe we can get married again.
Claire Snedeker
September 16, 2011
Claire Snedeker
I don’t view rape funny at all. However, you seem to view forced marriage, oppression of women, and pedophilia amusing, so I was simply striking back at you. If you don’t like me talking about black men raping you, then that’s just too fucking bad, since you’re clearly too obstinate to change your behavior towards me on the site. As for my school, that has nothing to do with the issue.
Bruce Danus
September 16, 2011
Bruce Danus
Education is paramount to understanding life, Claire.
Claire Snedeker
September 16, 2011
Claire Snedeker
How about you reply to the main points in my message instead of the very last sentence?
Bruce Danus
September 16, 2011
Bruce Danus
Ok, rape, oppression of women, pedophilia and forced marriage are not funny. I have never made a joke about any of those things, so why do you keep bringing them up?
Claire Snedeker
September 16, 2011
Claire Snedeker
Everything you write on Christwire is a joke. You have commented on forced marriage (I made it clear when you first began talking about “marriage” that if the two of us were to really get married, it would be against my will). You have made numerous comments on women being below the men in marriage, how they have to submit to their husbands. That’s oppression of women. As for pedophilia, take a look at your profile picture. Thus, you have joked about oppression of women, pedophilia, and forced marriage.
Bruce Danus
September 16, 2011
Bruce Danus
First, marriage vows are sacred and need to be said by both parties, therefore our marriage couldn’t have been “forced”. Second, I have not once said Women are below Men, I have stated that both sexes play certain roles in God’s plan for our lives. Third, as I pointed out already, my profile picture is a warning to my Christian friends with children to not put them in a public school. Fourth, You said I make jokes about rape, but haven’t pointed one out. Are you possibly looking in a mirror while typing that last message? Hypocrite.
Claire Snedeker
September 16, 2011
Claire Snedeker
You most certainly have said that women are below men.
“Another reason that Women need to listen to the Man in Charge.”
From http://christwire.org/2011/09/egyptian-muslim-terrorist-prostitues-invade-america/
“Here are some bible verses to prove that you do indeed exist to serve me”
“Claire, I was going to get this framed to put up on our wall next to our Marriage Certificate, but it seems you need it now instead of later.
http://j-walk.com/other/goodwife/index.htm”
From http://christwire.org/2011/05/the-homogay-agenda-and-the-androgynous-child/
“Claire is slowly learning her place as a female in America.”
“I pray that one day soon, Claire will accept the Lord and realize her place as my Wife and prepare my meals and take care of our good Christian White Sons that we will have due to God’s Divine Order.”
From http://christwire.org/2011/06/the-she-devil-amongst-us/
I never said you make jokes about rape. Read it again: “I don’t view rape funny at all. However, you seem to view forced marriage, oppression of women, and pedophilia amusing, so I was simply striking back at you.”
Bruce Danus
September 16, 2011
Bruce Danus
None of these quotes prove that I think Women are Below Men. As I said in my last message, “I have stated that both sexes play certain roles in God’s plan for our lives”. How does two different sexes, playing equally important roles in a marriage mean that Women are below Men? You are a very confused young lady.
Claire Snedeker
September 16, 2011
Claire Snedeker
“Here are some bible verses to prove that you do indeed exist to serve me”
THAT proves that you think women are below men.
Bruce Danus
September 16, 2011
Bruce Danus
No, that is just part of God’s plan for a Woman. She serves the Man and creates a loving home for their children. I find it very demeaning of you to think that being a Housewife is not “Work”. I believe that housewives are some of the hardest working people on the planet, and you have the gall to say being a housewife is like being a Man’s Slave. You are young, naive and despicable in your hatred of Women. I might rescind my friend request from you now.
Claire Snedeker
September 16, 2011
Claire Snedeker
The things you write as simply asinine. Being a housewife is indeed work. Housewives work 10 times harder than their husbands, who just sit on ass behind a desk all day. However, the word “serve” implies that she’s below him, as though he’s her “Master”. You’d be better off living in Saudi Arabia with that attitude than in America. Husbands and wives are equal. They should both work outside of the home, they should share the work inside the home. Accusing me of hating women is so fucking offensive, considering how I AM ONE and I’m a feminist as well. As for the friend request, there’s no ned to rescind it, considering how it’s blocked.
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Prissy, you seriously live in a world of denial, don’t you?
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I deny that rumor, L.N.
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And how am I in denial when I posted messages between Claire and myself on Facebook? I suppose you will say that I made those up too? Ask Claire if they are true, she has the exact same ones.
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I am inclined to believe these answers are the actual responses to these questions. I am certain that the ignorant population of our nation would produce these kinds of responses at least 30% of the time. There are plenty of examples on the tonight show or you tube for instance. Just look around you ask your family or friends some of these questions you will find many of them give funny answers.
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I’d have to agree, I mean about 90% of the liberals on this site are completely retarded, the others just like arguing.
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only %30? I’m not so generous
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What an accurate cross section of the Afrosaxons!
Great article, August!
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It’s been almost 4 months is that end of the world going to happen yet?
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one can only hope!
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We can only hope if the “saved” really do leave then the world can be a much better place once they GTFO off our planet.
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There’s no way I’d enter one of them neighborhoods without my glock.
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Holy fucking shit, we’re not wild animals. No need to carry around a damn gun.
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Oh, I’d shoot his cracker ass
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seriously? what is with you people and your boring self defense tools?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FN_P90
get learning, this is the 21 century
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” Do you know what emancipation OR proclamation means?”
I don’t think that YOU do, Dracula.
By the way, nice job fabricating answers.
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Poor Claire, You are just upset that chrisTwire is real, growing, and it has passed you by. And I am not a vampire, I just have a very bad garlic allergy and age well.
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“And I am not a vampire, I just have a very bad garlic allergy and age well.”
Actually you do not age well. I know many people in their late 40s who look MUCH younger than you do. So suck on that, dickhead.
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No Meg. No you don’t. Adam and Billings are the closest thing you have to friends.
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“No Meg. No you don’t. Adam and Billings are the closest thing you have to friends.”
Who said the people in their 40s are my friends? I just said that I knew them, fucking moron.
As for friends, I have a modest little group of friends at school and that doesn’t count the large numbers of vet tech students who I’m friendly with.
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Do your friends invite you over for dinner along with other unique people?
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“Do your friends invite you over for dinner along with other unique people?”
Actually I often get invited to their homes but I usually respectfully decline, as I get nervous in cars where the driver has only been driving for five years or less.
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Ever seen Dinner for Schmucks Claire?
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You shut your whore mouth while I still breath August.
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I stop believing after they said “20th century.”
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I don’t like you August.
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Go rent a Tyler Perry movie…. Oh wait, you can’t, because the no credit check rent-a-center repossessed your tv…..
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“People with the name Claire are unusually stupid. Maybe we need an “Ask Claire” article.”
Except that all of those answers were fabricated. Do you know what that means? It means that you pulled them out of your gaping asshole.
Oh, and by the way, you don’t have a leg to stand on when it comes to intelligence, or have you forgotten about your terrible grammar or the fact that you wondered why dinosaur skeletons didn’t have penises?
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Claire, all of those questions and answers are real. Sure we picked the ones we liked, but that is standard everywhere. If you were a member of the fellowship you would see the hundreds of messages that were electronically traded behind the scenes to make these polls happen. You constantly deny that which you have no knowledge about.
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Hey, remember those pictures of your daughter you posted? Lets just she really likes to drink my moo juice.
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She is not a lesbian like you Claire.
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Clearly you are incapable of reading, August. That’s Spiderman, not Claire.
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1. I’m not a lesbian.
2. I’m not Spiderman.
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When Claire is stumped she logs out and back in and posts something ridiculous and off topic to try and discredit us. It is all in the book.
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What book? Your made up book? Or do you just love blaming Claire for your own issues and insecurities?
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“When Claire is stumped she logs out and back in and posts something ridiculous and off topic to try and discredit us. It is all in the book.”
If that’s true then you will surely have no problem posting the IP addresses of myself and of Spiderman to confirm it.
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Have you not read the chrisTwire book? Claire is in it.
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Waiting for those IP addresses, Dracula.
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Read the book Claire!
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No, you need to provide those IP addresses if you’re going to make assholish accusations.
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It’s all in the book…..
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You published Claire’s IP address in a book?
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Gotta read the book!
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Sorry Dracula, but you’re not getting out of it that easily. Either publish screenshots of my IP address and Spiderman’s or admit that you were lying about us being the same person.
Tick tock.
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Actually, Claire is in the book’s dedication, dedicating her, Millennium and everyone who attacked ChristWire.
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But why would you pick the ones that make them seem stupid?
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These responses were voted on in the forums.
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You mean you not only made up your answers, but you’re flat-out lying now to cover your ass.
Yeah, lying works best when sober, ya drunken bastard.
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If I was to make them up I would do better than “Duh” and “Buy Gas”. You may not like me, but you know me better than that.
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Actually, I know you well enough to how low you’d sink, so you WOULD go ‘duh’ and ‘buy gas’, as you so put it.
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What is low about “Buy Gas”?
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I said ‘as you put it’, meaning you would go so low to make up answers, and you were the one who mentioned it in the first place, so YOU tell me what’s so bad about it?
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There is nothing wrong with it. It is a very responsible investment.
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The world doesn’t want these shit sandwiches your trying to feed it. Fuck off ya bloody wankers
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I thought the UK filtered this site because it reveals the truth about Islam and socialism.
I guess I’m wrong.
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Truth? What truth? This is the second best thing to tabloids.
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Who said I was from England? Dumb fuck.
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Blacks scare me. I was playing an innocent game of Minecraft that I recently updated, when a black guy from Somalia came up to me and nagged me to update his Minecraft after I updated my friend’s copies. He called me “racist” because of that.
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