NBA bench superstar J.R. Smith was finally able to escape from China, after spending a grueling three months playing in Beijing’s communist version of the NBA.
Like many other NBA players, Smith took to an overseas league as it was widely thought the 2012 NBA season would be cancelled due to contract negotiations between players and managers. But by Christmas, a miracle had occurred and the NBA season was announced as live. Smith wanted to return to his New York Knickerbockers, but the Chinese government expressly forbade him and told him he was their ‘contractual pet’ until 2013.
Smith was a prisoner of China until several days ago, when US special forces were able to invade the country and steal Smith in the dead of night. It’s purported that the special forces had to fight through several units of ‘sword-wielding guards’, one whose blade cut off the top portion of a frightened Smith’s flat-top. The damage can be clearly seen in the image above.
Nevertheless, the Special Forces were successful and Smith was rescued from China, landed safely in the US and immediately went to Madison Square Garden, where he shared awkward moments with teammate Jeremy Lin.
In unrelated news, Smith has nothing to worry about because Jeremy Lin is a Christian.