Gay Flash Mob Brutally Attacks Newt Gingrich in West Hollywood, One Officer Reverse Sodomized in Clash
Shocked officials in Los Angeles have been in battle with a mob of tough homosexual drug afficianados calling themselves the West Hollywood Leatherdaddies. Hopped up on the most lurid combinations of LSD and crack rock, these men allegedly threw out a spike trap to disable Newt Gingrich’s tour bus late last night, turning the scene above into an eventual night of unbridled chaos and sheer terror for the conservative right. Newt Gingrich was quietly whisked to the hospital after being freed from a notorious gay club named Rave, but 30 civilians were injured and one police officer was reverse sodomized by a throbbing, thrusting group of Democrat gay miscreants.
West Hollywood, CA – The first effects of Anti-Proposition 8 legislation has been felt in West Hollywood, California. Moral leader and Republican candidate for US president Newt Gingrich was the victim of a homosexually fueled attack.
The shocking news from the Los Angeles hamlet has many good families moving out of the area due to fear for their children. The gays in the area are obviously now so emboldened, that last night they sprung a complex trap to disable Newt Gingrich’s van, as seen in the opening image.
An organized terror cell of homosexuality has taken credit for the attacks. The group is calling itself The West Hollywood Leatherdaddies and purportedly planned to ‘rip Gingrich from that van, get him drunk and make him forget about the duntzy female blonde bombshell’. Further analysis of Tweets by the group reveals they planned to force Newt into leather thong chaps and make him do mind-altering drugs at a gay orgy club known as the “Throbbing Gristle” after getting him drunk at another club named “The Rave”.
Renown “2011 Leather Daddy of the Year” Joe My God is not associated with the shocking attacks but did appear to gloat on his blog.
9:34 pm – Officers responded to a distress call outside a Electronic Dance Music club known as The Rave. The club plays typically homosexual music and is well-known for freely giving samples of dangerous drugs like minced LSD and magic mint cocktails to get the clientele loose and limber for a night of debauchery.
The call was placed by a terrified Newt Gingrich staffer who claimed ‘we’re being dragged into the gay club! we’re being dragged into the gay club! They attacked our bus and we are disabled!”
9:39 pm – Another security staffer in Gingrich’s entourage posted a distress call to his Twitter feed. “Please help. I am using Siri. They have flinged a thick, salty goop in our eyes and we cannot see.”
Seconds later he posted, ‘My eyes burn and I cannot find the Senator. It is hazy and drug fueled in here. It smell like sewer. Someone call for help!”
9:49 pm – Officers arrived and managed to set up a perimeter. By this time over 3,000 gays had flooded into the area and were boisterous and drunk. Officers attempted to control the crowd with pepper spray and taser threats, but as noted by one officers, “They are so drugged up and energetic that we cannot contain them.”
Officers attempt to set a perimeter around Gingrich’s bus and The Rave in West Hollywood. Reports indicate over 30,000 gays rioted into the area, challenging officers and all trying to get a touch of Gingrich’s flesh. Undercover agents and the Navy Seals were eventually called in and were able to help battle the drug fueled crowd. Gingrich and all of his staffers were rescued after 5 hours.
An impromptu orgy of feathers, crack-laced fishthigh nets and homosexuality was ordered as helpless officers could only look on. Technologically savvy by their chatty nature, West Hollywood gays flooded Twitter and Facebook with status updates telling all their friends and faghags to take to the street and celebrate the Mute Newt Gayla Extravaganza 2012. Over 30,000 gays and friends are estimated in the gay mob. The center of the party was Newt Gingrich’s disabled bus, which officers were not able to secure until only hours ago.
Blistering buff bodies emboldened by recent Prop 8 emancipation, this gay couple revels in homosexuality by firmly standing atop Newt’s disabled bus and reveling in their oiled up musculature. It’s estimated that in the West Hollywood riots, over 30 innocent men were forced into ‘bad touches’ and at least one cop was reverse sodomized.