• How Danica Patrick is ruining NASCAR

    February 25, 2012 4:35 pm 87 comments
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  • How Danica Patrick is ruining NASCAR

    -Chuck D. Finley

    DAYTONA FL – NASCAR is America’s great All American Sport. It comes from the south and was birthed by moonshiners running from the law. Their love of speed took them from their illegal exploits and made them legends behind the wheel of fast, powerful American cars.

    America so loved the sport that the saying “What wins on Sunday sells on Monday” took effect. The American automobile industry took off and gave us a great American boom until the godless Japanese started infecting our shores with their kamikaze Toyotas and Hondas.

    But now America’s great American sport is under attack from sexist lesbian Affirmative Action.  Women’s rights groups have demanded that NASCAR allow a woman drive in the racing league, and they have went to the IRL to find a dirty immoral whore to drive the loins of American men to sin.

    Here are 6 ways that she is destroying America and NASCAR.

    She is a Slutty Whorelot:

    For years she has starred in the sex charged TV and internet ads of GoDaddy.  This satanic Godaddy is an internet page that sells webpages. To do this they have scantily clad women posed in delicate sexual positions. Think softcore porn plus advertisements.

    They are disgusting and lead hundreds of thousands of men to self-fornicate every year. She and her company are responsible for the damnation of these men to hell for thinking dirty thoughts and following through with them by spilling their seed into waste cans instead of their wives to create more Christian children.

    slutty danica

    SOPA Loving, Freedom Hating Godaddy:

    Godaddy was one of the creators of the recent SOPA legislation that looked to give the government and large corporations the ability to censor the internet. Originally the idea was to protect large corporations from pirates but the Obama administration added wording to it to give them the ability to censor or destroy and content from websites that they found offensive.

    Since this would have destroyed the internet, millions of people around the world fought the law. Many website owners pulled their websites from Godaddies sinful servers. The company was then forced to say that they were taking back their support for the law that they helped create due to losing so much business.

    GoDaddy also likes to cut the bandwidth to some of it’s popular sites when they have posts that go viral. This is a horrible business practice that limits websites and the free spread of information and knowledge.

    She Took a Job From a Man:

    Driving a car is a man’s job.  When my wife and I take the kids to Wal-Mart I am the one that drives the Tahoe. It is just common sense. Men are better drivers. Sure there are things that women are good at like birthing babies, knitting and cooking dinner but driving is not one of those things.

    NASCAR is the domain of man, and Miss Patrick is not a man. Although she sort of looks like one. Speaking of which why do so many men think she is so attractive? Sure she is better looking than Tony Stewart or Dale Earnhart JR, but she has a very flat body. Where are her curves?  Jeff Gordon is more effeminate than she is.

    godaddy car

    She Took her Daytona 500 Position From a Man

    Just like most feminists that think they can do the job of a man they have to use affirmative action to take the job of a man. To get guaranteed a position in the Daytona 500 her car owner Tony Stewart had to buy owner points from Tommy Baldwin Racing as part of a partnership with Stewart-Haas Racing to get the talentless female driver on the track.

    She is only driving a certain number of races this year in NASCAR most important division; because of thi,s the regular driver Reutimann will have to sit out those races. Because the points came from the car driven by Dave Blaney he will have to try to race his way into the Daytona 500. So in essence she is taking the jobs of two men away.


    Bossing Men Around:

    Even though she is driving part time for Tony Stewart in the premiere Sprint Cup series she is also driving full time in the lower  Nationwide Series for Dale Earnhart. Typically an employee does as they are told. They do not bark orders to their boss. But in a commercial for Nationwide Insurance she bosses her boss, telling him what to do, just like a typical feminist harpie.


    But like a good boss/man he turns the tables on her in the end letting her know who wears the pants in that family.

    Bad Driver:

    Like I said before. Driving a car is not a woman’s strong suit. If you have been watching the “speed weeks” at Daytona over the last month you will understand my following question. That question is “Just how many cars has she wrecked”?

    Just in the last week she has wrecked multiple times! As I am writing this she just wrecked in the nationwide race! The world is so blinded by her flashing her meager sin treats that they are actually impressed by her taking her hands of the wheel and covering her face like a soccer mom who just had a 18 wheeled truck run a redlight in front of her. What has happened to men and NASCAR?


    She comes from the open wheeled racing  of the IRL and Indy racing leagues. Anyone that has watched those racing shows know that they are boring. Watching open wheeled racing is like watching rush hour traffic on the interstate.

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    About The Author
    Chuck D. Finley Brother Chuck is the Minister of The First Tyranical Church of Jesus in Roswell Ga. He is also a proud husband and father.

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