• I Don’t Understand Why Strippers Get Upset When I Tip with Monopoly Money

    February 6, 2012 11:56 pm 94 comments

    Now before any of you start in on me, I’m a single man and I enjoy the gifts God gave me to look at. If I were not meant to look at beautiful women, I would not have eyes in my head. So let’s not even start with the whole Christians cannot enjoy the beauty of women nonsense.

    I don’t understand why strippers get upset when I tip with Monopoly money. I mean, are those real tits…I didn’t think so.

    There is a big thing I want to talk about today and it’s just downright, frank talk. Why are strippers of today so uppity? Think about it. Since when is simply removing your clothes to help a few blue-collars unwind after a long day on par with acting uppity like your pamper your bits with the Queen’s tickling powder? You’re a stripper, you shake your bits in a dirty smell bar!

    It really makes me upset. And here is my theory. What you see a stripper do, a wife will do. They are all females and the same mental processes power them all. How can my theory be true?

    The thing is this: broads are being told that women are better than men. Strippers of today are a microcosm, that means they represent all of women as a whole. I know for a fact that all strippers are uppity and have no sense of respect. It’s what I’m seeing in all women, even the ones who aren’t hookers.

    But to test my theory, I did an experiment. Mixed in with my real money I hid some Monopoly money. I waited until a woman with surgeon crafted cannons came out and tried to sell us false services. I paid her accordingly.

    I don’t understand why strippers get upset when I tip with Monopoly money. I mean, are those real tits…I didn’t think so.

    What happens when you give a woman too much fancy stuff and too much attention. You got a female with a stripper attitude on your hand. Many of you men tonight are bald and tired, you ache and have to go to work tomorrow. Your wife goes out and spends your money like it grows on trees.

    She complains and nags, not realizing that being a man is tough work. You know why she acts like she doesn’t have a clue what you need and no care? Because you are raising a stripper by making her think she is on a pedestal, men.

    Needless to say, the stripper got upset and yelled at me. She failed to realize the customer is always right and I have a right to be treated with respect. Men, you have a right to be treated with respect. Don’t let your little private stripper – be she girlfriend, wife and mistress – sell you short. If she don’t want to treat you with respect, tell that hoe to pass go, leave the $200 and realize there’s plenty more jugglies out there for you to explore. That’s all I’m saying.

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    About The Author
    Mike Collins You recognize me from my appearances on shows like Maury and Doc Phil. If you don't like what I'm saying back up off right now because I'm here to speak my mind and teach men how to be men again over their women.

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