Skyrim, Homogay and Rap Music Allow Satan to Sneak Into Suburban Family’s Home
When you allow Satanic things into your home, you set the welcome mat out for POSSESSED HOME INVASION. Case and point!
If that picture gave you a heart attack just now, too bad! Take it as a lesson of what will happen to all America if we continually allow demonic things to enter our homes!
This is a detective photograph that is shocking the internet today. In Amhurst, Maine, a family suddenly disappeared last week and investigators received warrant to enter their home yesterday. There is no sign of a family. Nothing was out of place, except for in the room of the family’s oldest son.
On his computer there was Skyrim: The Elder Scrolls paused. The child’s ‘Bottom Bosmer’ blood elf (a type of ‘power bottom’ homosexual clergy one can buy in the game) was doing a ritual and an investigator stated “It looked like the game had just frozen”. The child has received 666 EM points (Epic Mount Points).
In Skyrim, EM points are given for each act of homosexuality a character allows another to perform on him. For every ten homosexual ‘skyrim jobs’ allowed, a player receives 1 epic mount point. At LAN parties (Loosened Anal ‘Noobie’) parties, new players to the game can physically meet up with other seasoned, experienced gays and allow one of them to physically epic mount them from behind. Allowing yourself to be epic mounted once (only one is allowed per player account) will get you 100 points.
Tyson Bowers III calculates that this means the missing boy (19 years old and a college student) had performed at least 500 to 600 homosexual acts on Skyrim, and had likely been molested by a gay at least one time at a LAN party. This number may sound shocking, but keep in mind that those stats mean the boy was a ‘noobie’ and was just getting started. On average, a male Skyrim player has particpated in over 3,000 gay acts.
What’s even more shocking is that a rap cd was found playing on the boy’s record player. The song playing was from “Tyler The Creator” and a song about devil’s magic stuck in a loop. According to officers, ‘the voice was warped, drug ridden and psychotic.’
All other things in the family’s home seemed normal, until the face of Satan was seen peeking from behind a pillow in the picture we see above.
What most likely happened is that with all the homosexuality, evil video game and witchcraft black rap music playing, Satan felt right at home and invited himself in. The parents had no clue he was in their home and with just a snap of his fingers, he sent them all to hell. How horrible is it to know that you can allow Satan into your home by just allowing his most possessed forms of sins to dwell where you live.
At this point, it goes without saying that if your child is playing Skyrim, listening to rap or seems suspiciously gay, that you should slap them, take away any potentially evil game and put them in boot camp or counseling. That is unless you want your entire family to burn in hell. Don’t end up like this family and be missing on the eternal milk cartoon of hopelessness.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!
3:08 pm
Ok, literally NONE of this happened…Abe, stop mixing booze and drugs because it’s not helping you at all.
Your info on Skyrim is so wrong…And the picture is just of some guy hiding behind a couch, it’s not Satan.
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3:25 pm
You clearly can’t see the devil.
But then again, you’re atheist. A religion so ignorant that they can’t see god around them.
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3:29 pm
You’re clearly stupid.
But then again, you’re from christwire, a group of idiots who are so racist, they believe themselves to be better than everyone else.
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3:30 pm
You consider yourself an EX-ATHEIST? You sure do know nothing about Atheism. It’s not even a religion. Get your facts straight.
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3:38 pm
Atheism is a religion. Obviously you haven’t experienced it the same level I have.
They have atheist preachers, atheists meetings, atheist scripture, faith in unscientific things like Occam’s razor, libertarianism, communism, humanism, ect.
So next time you think a witch like you can speak for the godless make sure to contact Belphegor to make sure you have your facts straight.
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5:06 pm
If atheism is a religion, bald is a hair color.
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5:21 pm
YAWN! You can’t even be original.
If evolution is a science, then cosmetologist could predict the weather.
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5:51 pm
you’re either thinking of meteorologists and yes they actually do predict the weather. And actually evolutionary biology is a fast growing scientific profession which studies the evolution of species over time and the way they might evolve in the future, you should look at some of their findings you might find them interesting.
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12:05 pm
Bitcham, you can’t even insult evolution properly, so just shut the hell up, Rib.
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1:23 pm
fine, if atheism is a religion, then black is a color
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3:35 pm
If by “devil” do you mean the face behind the couch? That’s not Satan, that’s just some random guy.
There is no god
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3:50 pm
No human face looks that demonic.
As for your memetic denialism for god. No matter how hard you try you can’t deny reality.
Especially when you try to replace it with something as silly as humanity coming from some big explosion.
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4:03 pm
Apparently you don’t see a lot of people, because humans can make some pretty damn creepy faces.
The big bang makes more sense than “all powerful deity who lives in the clouds”
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3:12 pm
Once again, I CAN’T EVEN SEE THE PICTURE!! OddAtheist can you explain to me what the picture is? Please and thankyou.
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3:19 pm
Your parents must have installed moral software on your computer. The image has Satan peaking from behind the pillows of a couch, trying to hide from the police. He was able to sneak into the home probably because the oldest boy was playing demonic summoning game Skyrim.
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3:24 pm
Demons do not exist and even if they did, Skyrim sure as hell wouldn’t summon demons.
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3:30 pm
Yet here is evidence to the contrary. You atheists love to claim you stand for science, yet shun empirical evidence when it is right before you.
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3:33 pm
The article dosen’t count as evidence because it’s all shit fabricated from Abe’s drunken mind.
Why do you believe such bullshit?
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3:54 pm
First, stop being so foul. All the cussing sullies everything. Second, there is picture evidence. I’m not sure what sort of knowledge you have about physics, but only a 2d contortionist would be able to fit behind that pillow as you’re trying to claim. That is clearly an evil demon’s face and it is just eerie to know a simple game like Skyrim can do the work of 1000 seance witches these days.
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4:07 pm
The space is big enough for a person to hide behind.
Skyrim isn’t evil and can’t do anything evil, it’s just a video game.
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4:30 pm
Why would the devil need to hide from police officers? God you’re stupid.
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6:00 pm
A bit of holy water is enough to make the devil flee. You think cops and FBI go into these mysterious situations without supernatural precautions? They may never admit it, but seasoned officers see enough supernatural things to know Heaven and Hell are real.
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6:03 pm
Uh, yeah, because why the fuck would a cop need holy water? You’re just making shit up because you’re in a corner now, now how about you stop lying like a little shit, or is that too much decency for you to handle?
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6:05 pm
Are you trying to say LEOs do not use supernatural objects to defend themselves?
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6:14 pm
No Adam, they don’t have a vial of water in it that was labeled ‘Holy’ on it like a moron, because they need actual weapons to detain actual criminals, not the imaginary ones you see in your head.
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3:22 pm
Ignore Adam…
It’s a pic of a living room where some guy is hiding in the shadows behind the couch. It’s just a guy, not Satan.
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3:27 pm
oh, Well for ADAM’S information, my parent’s wouldn’t block me from seing such. I’m in school. Like a normal SMART 17 year old would do.
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6:21 pm
Like arrowhead making? Or buffalo skinning class?
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6:32 pm
no those are things that were necessary in 1820 things that are useful now like calculus or biology or writing or, oh this is a good one, evolutionary biology!
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3:33 pm
I don’t let satanic things into my house.
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4:50 pm
“The child’s ‘Bottom Bosmer’ blood elf (a type of ‘power bottom’ homosexual clergy one can buy in the game) was doing a ritual and an investigator stated “It looked like the game had just frozen”. The child has received 666 EM points (Epic Mount Points).”
Let me pick this apart. There is no race called Blood Elf in Skyrim. That’s in another game. There’s no such thing called “bottom Bosmer” or “power bottom”. There’s no such thing called EM points or Epic Mount Points. That’s something you made up.
“In Skyrim, EM points are given for each act of homosexuality a character allows another to perform on him. For every ten homosexual ‘skyrim jobs’ allowed, a player receives 1 epic mount point. At LAN parties (Loosened Anal ‘Noobie’) parties, new players to the game can physically meet up with other seasoned, experienced gays and allow one of them to physically epic mount them from behind. Allowing yourself to be epic mounted once (only one is allowed per player account) will get you 100 points.”
Again, no such thing called EM points. You can’t do any sexually act in the game. Heterosexual or homosexual. There’s nothing you can do that involves sex or mounting or ANYTHING sexual. That’s not what LAN means. LAN means “Local Area Network”. You can’t meet up with other players. Skyrim is a single-player game. No interaction with other players at all. Again, you can’t do anything sexual. That includes “mounting”. And there is no mounting point system like I said already.
“On average, a male Skyrim player has particpated in over 3,000 gay acts.”
And do you have proof to this? You talk as if what you saying are facts but you can’t back them up. You won’t be able to back it up.
I don’t really care for rap so whatever on that.
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4:59 pm
Tyson Bowers III gave a scientific documentary of all the stats you’re asking about. It proved Skyrim has homosexuality in it. It also allows gay weddings. You obviously have no idea about this game and should research before you try to claim to be a pro and know it all.
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5:05 pm
Oh, did I say you can’t get marry to the same sex? I’ve said in the other Skyrim article that the only homosexual thing you can do is marry the same sex. Maybe know what YOUR talking about before your sprout nonsense. And why the hell does it matter you can marry the same sex? It gives it more realism to the game.
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5:06 pm
Where did Tyson give that nonsense out? And how could you know anything about the game if you’ve done no research on it, or even played the damn game? You’re the retarded moron who’s claiming to know more about a subject than the people who are already experienced at it!
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6:02 pm
Notice how many people “Liked” this journalism on Facebook alone. Tyson said millions of people read this and he received thousands of emails from concerned parents. http://christwire.org/2011/11/is-skyrim-teaching-your-children-how-to-perform-rim-jobs-and-other-homo-erotic-sex-maneuvers/
So before you open your mouth before things you don’t know, maybe you should think to keep it shut.
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6:15 pm
You said he made a scientific documentary, not a piece of sensationalist ‘journalism’ (and I put that in quotes because it doesn’t have an ounce of truth to it whatsoever, yet it’s still just as grandiose and false like any other) bullshit.
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5:22 pm
Yes, there’s gay marriage in Skyrim. There’s also heterosexual marriage as well.
Gay marriage is the ONLY gay thing in Skyrim.
Tyson’s Skyrim article is overflowing with false information.
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7:13 pm
religion have homosexuality in it mostly christianity
yet you can’t even discredit or disprove what I am saying right adam because you know I said the truth
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6:11 pm
Good thing mommy and daddy raised me on Queen and Black Sabboth. My soul was doomed form the start and know what i don’t give a fuck what you say, your god is a fake.
How can you be talking about homosexuals being an abomination when one of your own, Satan Susan, put “But for the rest of you I have compiled a list of 10 ways that you can be a proper christian man and please your man and most importantly God.” in one of her articals.
Honestly when i went to church i was misrible and people there take litral interpritations of the bible when it was really a very great work of fiction litrature by 12 schizophrenic men who heard a voice in their head.
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6:22 pm
Are you lost?
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6:27 pm
What do you mean am I lost. I’m just sharing my views. You did say that Rap music was allowing saten sneak into the suburban family’s home, i was just interjecting saying my parents raised me proper on rock music you silly duck.
I have friends who come from many diffrent races and have gay family members, its quite funny when you say god hates this and god hates that, this is just a blanket comment sir, i didn’t want to post on every single crackpot post you have on here and dispell your “truths.” as you so call them.
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6:30 pm
*Satan (may he sodomize your wife before you very eyes in the very pit of hell while he lets his demon desiples torture and orally pleasure your children)
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6:35 pm
Kathy, I must admit I don’t really like your comedy specials or what you did to Anderson Cooper on New Years. I know that you thought it’d be fun to taunt the gay guy with bared flesh, but really that was just too much and not very polite.
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6:35 pm
hahahhaahhaha hilarious welcome to the moderate/non-racist/non wife beating/ free thinking group.
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6:34 pm
i had the exact same experience in church i am adding you to the smart list
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6:36 pm
glad be on it brony.
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6:52 pm
yes, are you a pegasister.
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6:56 pm
you know it.
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7:03 pm
woooo change your image so it has to do with MLP, communism, and atheism like mine. they hate it because they think communism is “un-american” they think atheists “cannot feel love” and they think bronies are gay even though we have explained to them many many times that we are not.
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6:55 pm
hasn’t anyone heard of PHOTOSHOP!
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6:57 pm
The cultwire haven’t. They haven’t even heard of CGI.
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7:16 pm
oh my allah.
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7:24 pm
yes excelent job
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11:55 pm
The reason why there’s no family there is because the family took the picture.
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1:08 pm
Looks more like Michael Myers.
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11:27 pm
Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin
Naal ok zin los vahriin
Wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal
Ahrk fin norok paal graan
Fod nust hon zindro zaan
Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal
Your argument is invalid by my flawless use of Dragonish. FUS RO DAH!
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