• Smarting After Michigan Primary Loss, Rick Santorum Dons Leather Daddy Gear to Rally New Voter Base

    February 29, 2012 2:05 am 16 comments

    Despite being a fervent Christian and impressive conservative, it seems Rick Santorum’s faith-based campaign cannot compete with the gold-lined campaign battleship coffers of Mormon bishop Mitty Romney.

    In state after state, the idiocy of the Moral Majority has been astounding. America is a Christian nation with a Godly heritage, as proven by our money and our pledge of allegiance. The majority of Americans are Christian and believe in God, our Declaration of Independence names God as our defender and liberator, yet, the majority of Christian America keeps voting for a Mormon. How many of you knows what goes on inside secretive Mormon tabernacles?

    0%, because Mormon tabernacles do not let Christians enter, and yet we are letting a Mormon bishop inch closer to the presidency. If we can let a Mormon do this, I can see why the gays are having such an easy time gathering victories to allow marriage sodomy.

    And it’s with that I sympathize with Rick Santorum. If today’s “Christians” do not have the scruples to keep a Mormon out of office, then Santorum’s going to have to make new allies to keep office. Jesus broke bread with the prostitutes and lepers, so to win Santorum has now realized he’ll have to consort with sinners to get into office and protect America from 4 more years of Muslim or worse, Mormon.

    Senator Rick Santorum – (R) Pennsylvania
    New Party Affiliation: Leather Daddy RepublicansOfficial party symbol are sleek leather daddy pants popular in West Hollywood

    Former Political Party – Values Voters Republicans

    New Political Platform – Flirt with homosexuality while maintaining Christian fervency, allow Obamacare for working class families, Be tough on Terrorists, Desegregate Church and State

    Old Political Platform – Strongly Oppose Homosexuality, Trust Christians to vote for the right person, Seperation of Church and State not important, Be tough on Terrorists

    This shocking photograph of Pennsylvania senator Rick Santorum was just tweeted from the politician’s campaign headquarters in Michigan. It is assumed after the heartbreaking loss in the state, Santorum feels betrayed by his “Value Voters” voting bloc and is entertaining a new, more impassioned community to support his agenda.

    Justification: If You’re A Fantastic Pro Family Republican, Does One or Two Same Sex Encounters Really Make You Gay?

    At this point, some readers and many voters will be angry.  They will say there is no justification for Rick Santorum dressing like a homosexual, getting drunk and possibly liquifying some fresh college intern’s rusty dusty in the late hours of the night.   As you look at that picture, let me ask you who is without sin.

    And as proven by Stephenson Billings, one or two same sex encounters does not necessarily make you gay.

    Now don’t get me wrong here!  I’m not advocating homosexuality.  I’m just saying if Rick Santorum…just goes ahead and tinkers a bit with the backside and makes himself more gay friendly, we can get the Homosexual Voting Bloc (HVB) to turn to Christianity and help us pull a good old-fashioned SN2 mechanism, a backside attack, on Mitt Romney.

    The vote in Michigan was close:  only tens of thousands vote difference.  With the way gays are constantly using their little mobile devices and Twitterings and Facebook all hours of the night to meet up for secret methlaced bootay calls and all the other like they do, they can also be campaigning.  “Vote for Santorum, LOLzers!”  And their normal friends, particularly females, who don’t know international policy from Angelina Jolie’s right leg will do just that.

    It’s painfully obvious that Christians are becoming lazy and stubborn, greedy and pathetic.  The numbers of true Christians is dwindling.  There was once a point in time where even a non-Protestant would have been laughed out of the GOP primaries after throwing his hat in the ring.  Now, we’re going to have to settle for a values-Catholic named Santorum.

    I’ll tell you why.  If you think having an illegal Muslim in office is bad, it’ll be twice as bad if we’re all ruled by the Crown Money Bishop of latter day saints.  America is a Christian nation, and we’ve already allowed a:  Quaker, Islamosocialist Muslim and now possibly a Mormon to take office.  What next?  A Hindu.  A witchdoctor?  The grandchild of Josef Stalin?

    The possibilities are endless.  I fully support Rick Santorum’s homosexuality if it means we get to keep Romney out of office.  It’s not gay, it’s a sacrifice for making a brighter day for America.  Sometimes in war you have to kill, and sometimes to get votes you have to really dig deep into the trenches and make some new stiff alliances.  Go get em’, Rick.  America is counting on you.

    ChristWire Fans Respond:  What do you think of the recent evidence revealing Rick Santorum’s “Leather Daddy Republican” campaign fetish in Michigan?

    EJ Morrow -  I feel bad for those who do not understand the morals America was built on. and why Leather Daddy Santorum would not only hurt the cattle industry, but further lower the already diminishing US population growth rate.

    B. Gaul – As his Bible is bound in leather – so shall he be!

    M. Angelo – He’s not Jesusie enough for me, I say NO!

    C. Whittire -  Go Leather Daddy Go!!!

    E. Alexander – Ill ride his caucasus primarily? It’ll be one suuuuuuuuuper Tuesday? One things for sure he sucked at his caucuses?

    E. Harvey – Same as yesterday and tomorrow. “he needs to fall backward into busy traffic.”

    S. D’antoni - I’ve been caught up with Angelina’s Oscar dress all day.  Now what did Santorum win an Oscar for?

    B. Eagle - Depends on how he pulls it off.

    JP Halper -  I asked my local homosexual about this, but he said he was busy, likely being promiscuous with animals

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    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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