All over this nation, gay marriage has been foisted upon the innocent citizens of this blessed country. In California, God fearing Americans are still in the midst of battling proposition 8. In Maryland, stunning everyone, former Vice-President Dick Cheney is lobbying to legalize gay marriage so his lesbian daughter can enjoy special rights. And in Washington State, Governor Christine Gregoire (D-Hell) has just signed a bill legalizing same sex marriage.
What has gotten hold of our national leaders? Traditionally, it has been convenient to blame liberals for the degradation of our society. But what can explain American heroes like Cheney casting their lot with the Prince of Darkness?
Sometimes, the connections can seem obvious. A prevailing argument has been that an increasing number of normal heterosexual citizens know someone close to them who are homosexual. This argument has certainly been used with devastating effect on the former Vice-President. But perhaps there are deeper motivations.
Recently during a lunch break, I went out for a smoke and collected signatures for Washington State Referendum 74, created by the good reverend Ken Hutcherson to restore traditional marriage and stop its redefinition. As I stood in the rain, calmly ignoring the screams of militant homosexuals objecting to our signature table, it hit me. I noticed a single woman parked her car at the Trader Joe’s parking lot. While preparing to go inside and douse her childless, loveless life in a purchasing orgy of organic wines, it was apparent that she not only had a dog in her car – she also had a cat.
It has been said, sometimes jokingly, that the end times will be noted by plagues, locusts, and yes, “cats and dogs, living together”. That time is upon us.
Before 1960′s radicals transformed this country into what it is today, no one questioned the relationship between cats and dogs. It was a pillar of society that cats and dogs lived in a balanced, adversarial relationship with one another. Tom and Jerry. Tweety and Sylvester. This was what we grew up with. They were different species, forever carving out their unique niches at the other’s expense, giving us a jolly good laugh along the way. It was morning in America.
With the advent of radicalism, “free love”, and feminism, an increasing number of Americans, particularly women, led a solitary life. Something needed to fill that lonely void and what could be cheaper or more convenient than animals? Human companionship, marriage, and traditional families were replaced with a veritable Noah’s Ark of animals in the home. Unable to muster the energy to keep a man, or even shave, feminists lazily turned to the animal kingdom. But sometimes, the natural order can rise, even in the most unexpected of ways. Without a man in the home to provide the traditional aggression that’s moderated by the gentler half, feminists allowed their pets to freely frolic in a perverse mimicry of traditional families. It is no coincidence that it took less than two decades for these same feminists to anthropomorphize their pets and start the modern fad of clothing pets.
Sometimes the liberal press briefly realizes this issue but alas, misses the real point. Czech scientist Jaroslav Flegr was recently featured in The Atlantic regarding his research that demonstrates how cats living in close proximity to liberals can increase incidents of clinical insanity. Is it any wonder why our society has turned the old term “crazy cat lady” into a cliché? Add a canine into the mix and before long, your state is legalizing same sex marriage.
Presidential candidate Rick Santorum has been criticized for suggesting that same sex marriage could lead to bestiality. But I submit the converse, bestial cohabitation between cats and dogs have led us to where we are today. If we have reached the point where cats and dogs living together is considered “normal”, should it be any surprise that people of the same sex living together is also considered normal? Perhaps we have reached the point of no return.
About: Kelvin Fortescue is an acclaimed investigative journalist specializing in science, religion, and politics. He can be found on Facebook.