Why Do Cats Purr
Like the proverbial candy-wielding homosexual luring our children to his Ford Econoline, cats are oft able to exploit the naive and ignorant by their duplicitous nature. Many people mistake a cat’s rumbling purr and pawing at the lap or chest as signs of affection, but in scientific actuality, it is a hunting mechanism of the predatory feline.
A cat’s purring is actually an amplification of a cat’s heartbeat. It purrs louder and louder as it grows more frustrated and excited with the thought of eating you, but knowing it cannot due to its physical dwarfism in relation to its bigger African dwelling relatives. A cat still may try to attack you, no matter the size, so it’s best to drop any cat that consistently purrs and any wild strays to your local animal shelter for euthanasia.
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Author: Adam Nelson
6:18 pm
Not surprised you’re taking that image seriously, considering you hate cats and want them dead and murdered (by your hand, if possible).
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1:15 pm
I’m not a vet, so unfortunately cannot help euthanize cats. I do take the responsibility to take them to my local animal shelter, where they have a 7-day adoption window before having to sadly put the little beasts down. So sad, but that’s what must be done to protect our local ecosystem.
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7:30 pm
Adam, if you want people to even consider believing you when you say that you’re saddened by your “duty”, try not using words such as “beasts” to describe the cats.
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11:50 pm
Whatever, LN. Christwire obviously just hired you to be a dissenter so you could get the conversation going. Same goes for Claire.
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11:53 pm
Seriously, from what I can tell you two idiots have been on here for years hopelessly spouting semi-logical soundbites at these lunatics. I’m pretty sure you’re in on the whole thing, or else you’re just unbelievably stupid or lonely.
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6:18 pm
I thought candy-wielding homogay child abusing mentally on the lower scale illiterate with mommy issues burdened pedobears would lure children into a Ford Transit, or has that one become out of fashion?
Also, even if the cat purrs with contempt, the reason it does not attack you is beacuse it feels your warm, caring, caressing hand wrapped tight around its neck where they, except for the belly, seem to purr the loudest.
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6:22 pm
For those taking me to seriously now, that means no, they do not purr because they want to kill you.
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6:46 pm
I could eat alphabet soup and shit a better argument then you.
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6:59 pm
You guys know what would be awesome? If Adam died in a fire.
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7:03 pm
In the gulf of mexico
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9:08 pm
That is not going to happen BUT when YOU die you will spend eternity in a fire.
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3:39 am
How fucking interesting. Tell me more.
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7:31 pm
James McAvoy!
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8:29 pm
HELL YEAH JAMES MCAVOY
Bitch knows when shit goes down!
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11:42 pm
I had a major crush on him when he played Leto Atreides II in “Children of Dune” on SciFi.
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11:46 pm
Duuuuuuuuuuuuudeee
Not only do I have the series, I have all his other movies too. This is a classy man right here.
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12:01 am
Although before COD came out I had a crush on Alec Newman who played Paul in “Dune”. In my opinion the “Dune” miniseries was far superior to the 1984 movie with that awful Kyle Mclaughlin. The soundtrack for COD is probably one of the most beautiful musical scores ever created. Although it won the Emmy for best visual effects in a miniseries I was really pissed that it lost to “Taken” as the best miniseries. “Taken” was entertaining but in my opinion COD was just incredible.
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12:05 am
Me and mom have a disagreement when it comes to Dune. (She watched it as a kid.) I find Children of Dune vastly superior and every time I mention it she doesn’t like talking me for the rest of the day.
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7:01 am
It would be better to die burning in a fire than to burn in a fire AFTER you die like you atheists will.
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7:20 pm
Honestly cats do not try to kill you when they purr. You know you christwire people said that atheists sacrifice cats, now you say they should be killed. Such hypocrites.
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9:22 pm
Cats purr for a number of reasons. None of them are aggressive. Scientific research has in fact shown they purr when happy, in pain, childbirth, wanting to avoid pain, hungry and/or eating. Never done when trying to attack. It is usually done when the cat is relaxed. Cats don’t use subtlety when about to attack. They warn before attacking, usually with an arched back and hissing.
The source of the purr is unknown. It is unsure what causes the purring sound. The best guess is it has something to do with vocal folds and/or muscles in the larynx. Nothing to do with the heart. It stays at roughly the same frequency. It does not get frustrated as the purr is a relaxed, calming sound.
If you have a cat that purrs constantly don’t drop it off to be put down. You have a content cat. Be happy with it.
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1:43 am
Truly terrifying facts in this article. Any Christian with his eyes open can see how dangerous these beasts are. They have no place in the Christian home. Let the athiests and the Asians have them!
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5:06 pm
Hey Ice Van Winkle. Your name sounds like a strippers name.
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3:08 am
Cool story, bro.
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11:58 pm
Less time on the internet, girl. You seriously have an image to accompany EVERY post you make. WHAT?!
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12:02 am
I’m sick today! My roommates have ordered me not to leave my bed! I also have a three day weekend! YEAH!
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5:48 am
It’s as plain as day that these abominations are pure evil. You can keep a large dog, for example a Great Dane or a Mastiff with no problems. Try keeping a cat that size and your whole family will be savagely torn to shreds in their sleep.
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8:40 am
The reason why a family MAY get torn to shreds if they keep a cat the size you say is because cats that size are not domestic. They are wild animals. It is not the same as keeping a DOMESTICATED large dog. It would be the same as keeping a wolf hyena jackal or any other wild canine. Dangerous unless kept from birth.
Also just so you know there ARE cases where people have kept lions, tigers and the like with no problems. They can live peacefully and without danger with big cats if treated and fed correctly.
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5:50 am
It’s also well-known that a cat, if left alone with an infant, will sleep on the poor child’s face in an effort to smother them. Witches also keep cats, as they are a direct line of communication with demons and the netherworld of hell.
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1:11 pm
True facts. I had a cat once, we found it on the street. Little shit kept trying to kill me.
We just keep her outside now and let her kill opossums.
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1:34 pm
The cat tried to “kill” (really is kill the right word? Wouldn’t attack be better?) you because it was a stray. It had to learn to protect itself and fight for food. Therefore saw you as a threat either to itself or its food source. Was likely self defence rather than evil behaviour.
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2:19 pm
No, I mean the damn thing tried to kill me. We had it for about a year, and it lived in my room. It wouldn’t sleep anywhere else. One night I woke up and it was sitting on my face.
She also waits for me on the stairs and tries to trip me.
(Also, I’m being about 80% sarcastic)
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2:24 pm
Ah ok I had a cat that waited on the stairs for people to pass. Wasn’t to trip them rather scratch them as they passed.
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2:35 pm
The relationship I have with my cat now is sitting outside with food and when she comes up I do a bad impersonation of Cartman going NO KITTY BAD KITTY IS MY POT PIE
And then my mom falls to the floor and dies laughing.
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11:56 pm
Cool it with all the images. Your words are sufficient.
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11:59 pm
Nope. The day I stop is the day I run out of images.
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1:32 am
Well luckily for us that day should come soon, as you are obviously scraping the bottom of the image barrel already.
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2:20 am
Nope, my image folder contains over 1000 reaction images and I add more everyday.
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8:51 am
You forgot the, the fact here are in the bible so true you’ll never find any facts to prove it right.
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1:27 am
I purr and im not a cat im my own kind!
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