• 21 Pokemon Brought To Life By an Artist

    March 30, 2012 10:13 pm 69 comments

    Pokemon is an evil Japanese video game meant to teach children about anime and perversion.   Pokemon is literally the Japanese word for “Pok” (perverted thrust) “emon” (prostate monster) .  Leave it to the people who created anime (the Japanese word for porangraphy) to make a game like this to infest children with thoughts of wiggling colon monsters and cartoons.

    In the following image gallery, we will review the 21 most popular Pokemon that you may see your child playing on a Nintendo 3DS or worse in a magazine.  If you see your child involved with Pokemon, they are likely brainwashed and need immediately psychological counseling.

    Lesbiatongue

    To the untrained child, this Pokemon may seem innocent and fun!  But to the trained eye, we can all tell it is a subliminal message to make our daughters think of red rocket and backside doggy lick sins!

    How is it that dogs greet each other!  They sniff each other’s stink spots!  Look at this ‘emon’ and you can see it looks like a giant doggy dangle naughty!  It’s well known that a lesbian’s favorite organ is the human tongue because they use it to snooker each other right in the sally!  They have put lesbian right in this one’s name.  What is that white stuff coming from the end of it’s red rocket?  Magical happiness?  Satan’s goo drops?  I’m sure you can be the judge of what’s subliminally going on here!

    This is why if your child is playing Pokemon, burn it!  Burn it all!  Let’s see what these sinful sots have next.

    PARASHROOM

    This Pokemon’s purpose is to teach children about drugs and raves.   Parashroom has special moves that a child can learn called MJ Grasstype (MJ for Maryjona) and sleep.  When the Pokemon sleeps, it magically regenerates its health and a message appears that says, “After smoking an MJ, a nap will make you feel all better.”

    ToGAYpee

    This Pokemon has Satanic symbol written all over its body.  The diamond shape means diamond back rattle snake, the egg, a symbol of lesbianism.  ToGayPee is a symbol of Satan corrupting Eve in the garden of Eden, leaving Adam all alone with himself and sinful thoughts.  It makes him want to touch himself and ‘To Gay Pee”, that is, to touch your twaddle dandy until a gay’s pee comes out and you moan in sin.  Why are you parents letting your children still play this game?

    To further prove it is a symbol of Satan and homosexuality, this Pokemon suggestively rubs itself then shoots out eggs from its nether region as an attack.  It’s trying to say a man-man touch or a woman-woman touch can create ovigenesis, which is impossible.

    Snooki

    Snooki is a rotund Mexican girl who got famous for getting drunk on tequila whippits and jumping into bed with steroid abusers with low self esteem on national television.  Sadly, MTV has made this lifestyle seem awesome to mentally weak teens with their television show the Jersey Shore.  To entice more young teens to buy the game, you can see the developers at Blizzard Games  (the Japanese porno company behind this game and others like World of Warcraft and Skyrim) are pulling pop culture hookers to dangle their flesh.  You can see from the image at right, the new game systems make it impossible to tell fake from reality.

    Snooki’s character has a sludge move where she can grind her body against an enemy, then it dies.  There is also a move she has called ‘suck’ where she can suck the life sauce right out of her opponent.  Both we know she has plenty of practice at in real life and now all players of Pokemon are being taught to do such with the same skill as Snocki.  Filth!

    PIKACHU (peek at you)

    This evil creature is called a PIKACHU.  PIKACHU is the Japanese word for Electric Phallus and it’s goal is to make American girls think the Japanese male’s Electric Bugaloo is an exciting, lighting fast yellow monster of pleasure.  What’s even worse is that this creature is a mouse chinchilla, a two-leg walking creature scientists in Japan are teaching mice can and will evolve into in about 30 years.  If you think Godzilla was a symbolic blasphemous Japanese creation for using God’s name in vain and ‘showing’ that the Japanese can kill ‘ancient America Goddragon”, then you will really hate this PIKACHU.

    When I test piloted the game Pokemon Stadium to learn all about these Pokemon so I can warn you about them in this report, this little bugger was cheap.  It can rain lighting down on you continuously and since it is a magic electricity penzer, that means it gets to shot its powers out first in the perverted hierarchy of the game.  What’s sick is that it’s trainer is always some anorexic Japanese girl with American blonde eyes and hair in a short skirt who seems happy to get him back.  SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES to make our daughters crave yellow tallywang, a Japanese male!  They only last for 20 seconds, as fast as PIKACHU, and shot their demon seed fast to create half Japanese girls who can blend in when they try to attack Pearl Harbor once more!  They try to make girls say yes to a Japanese secret garden invasion, “Oh, hehehe, my yellow monster will only peak at you then over really fast  Pikachu! hheheh  !!!”  Sickos!

    BLASTOISE (MOUNTED BY SINDOCKER)

    If you look closely here, you will see this Pokemon is actually two.  On the bottom there is a poor, innocent turtle who has had its carapace ripped right off.  On top of it, it’s being mounted by what is called a Sindocker.  The Sindocker has 12 ‘phalli’ and is inserting them into this turtle’s body.  This must be every gay’s dream come true, to have so many sinappendages and being able to just rip off the jeans from any man and then just thrust away.  Look at how sad this turte’s face is.  When the Sindocker who has attacked this turtle has shot all its liquid DNA into the turtle, it can shoot out a blast of filthy liquid from its mouths at the opponents.  Yes, it sounds sick but that’s how the Japanese make games.  The entire abomination is called a Blastoise.

    The creature is designed to make men grow up thinking it’s normal to let a homosexual come up from behind, rip through your carapace and fill you with liquid DNA.

    CHANCEY THE SELF-TOUCHING CHICKEN

    Throughout this video game I noticed there is a theme of self-touching.  The trainers ‘who represent the player’ self touch and rub on special balls to coax one of these Pokemon to come out.  Then, the Pokemon also often self-touch to make their powers available.  This Pokemon is a giant homolesbian chicken, meaning it combines male and female parts together.  When it furiously rubs its belly, much like its cousin ToGAYpee, it can create eggs.  It is apparently an abortion-loving marsupial because instead of waiting for its eggs to hatch, it stores them in its pouch and throws them at its enemy.

    This creature is designed to brainwash game players into agreeing with lesbian and abortion, two favorite meals of radical left-wing Democrats.  They love nothing better than a spliffy in one hand, a hanger in the other and diseased minds thinking a night of fun violations is normal and acceptable.  What a sick creature this is here and I can only wish it were real, so I could shot it with my shotgun and eat it with a side of grits and cornbread.

    ElectricBuzz

    This Pokemon was actually created by a British glam pianist named Elton John.  The British have actually made Elton John the Shining Knight of Sodomy and call him Sir Elton John, but even that bizarre Queen promotion holds no comparison to what they’ve slipped into the child’s game.

    Many years ago, Elton John created a song called Benny and the Jets.  It is a song about a teenager sneaking out of the parents home and going to a LSD hippie rave, where she does drugs, shakes around her ‘electric boobs’, gets pregnant and then has an abortion “getting rid of the fatted calf tonight” is one of the lyrics.  The song is a praise ballad for disrespecting your parents and not getting married, but rather living in a Japanese or gay person’s fantasy of societal anarchy and fallen Christianity.  The song became so immensely popular, that it corrupted anyone who listened to it.

    Just to prove how powerful Satan was in the lyrics, Elton John once dressed up like a prancy Irish Leprachaun and went to a black’s only hip hop club named Soul Train in Harlem New York.  They tried to kick him out, but after 5 seconds of listening to this song they all started dancing like pieces of stiff wood (and we all know black people can dance better than that).  It’s very scary and you can see it here (don’t let women or children watch, please pray before viewing).

    ElectricBuzz is the culmination of all that song’s references into one character.  If you turn down the gaming system’s internal volume, you can also here electric buzz is lightly playing Benny and the Jets on repeat (as symbolized by its buzzing radio ears).

    SANDSLASH

    Just like Kwame from Africa on Captain Planet, Sandslash is designed to be the lure to draw in black viewers on Pokemon.  In the original artwork for the character, you can see he is brown and yellow.  This is a simple Japaense technique to let blacks know they can make babies with them as well in their world/cultural domination plan.  In the gay community, which most Japanese game makers seem infatuated with, you can also know that ‘slash’ is the undercover word for ‘hentai’.  So a Sandslash is a hentai so perverted, it blinds your eyes like slashing yellow sand from the Orient.  The Japanese figure that the blacks won’t understand all this symbolic subliminal messages going on beneath the surface and they will just be happy getting a black character into the game.

    POLYWHIRL

    This Pokemon is holding an aborted fetus.  When it’s not using its aborted fetus as a melee weapon, you can see it has a giant target painted right on its womb.  This Pokemon is simply an offense to decency and a praise character for abortion mongers.

    NARUTO

    This Pokemon is actually a human that can use its demon powers to turn into a Dog Demon.  It uses its powers to trick children into petting it and rubbing its belly, which must be a diabetic candyland utopia for gays and perverted Japanese males.   What’s sick is that the Cartoon Network has actually given this character its own cartoon show called Naruto, where all sorts of sick things take place.  Snogging sallies, drug raves, cartoon violence and cussing.  What sort of world do we live in when these things are allowed as ‘cartoons’?

    Milkturtle

    Take a good look at the milksacs region of the vental thoracic area.  You will see a brown exposing of HUMAN FEMALE MILCSACS IN A CHILDREN CARTOON GAME!  This is beyond evil, Japanese!  Young men and women should not be seeing this filth!  This is only an eye treat for a man when he has a wife!  What sort of sick nonsense is this!  The rest of the character looks like a normal video game, but then MILKTREATS IN THE CHEST!  I can only wish it were World War II again, because I’d volunteer to be a pilot for Harry Truman and put an end to it ALL!

    ODDISH

    This Pokemon is dangerous.  It is a rare species called a ‘demon type’ and uses actual Satanic chants and mind possession in the game.  While the other characters use subliminal messages, there are reports of people who use this character can actually becoming infected with a demon possession.

    In one of its moves, the user has to sing into a microphone (from Guitar Hero) a witch chant, then this character can make letters from the Wiccan’s demon alphabet appear and by the power of paganism, it will prophesy what moves will kill the opponent.  Sometimes, these prophesies can manifest in real life and there are reports of one Japanese man blowing up in a pillar of fire, because his opponents Oddish called up a move called ‘sinner’s punishment’.  This is why when you go in your child’s room to see if they have any Pokemon, you must call a Priest or Pastor to bless it and cast out any demons.  You are dealing with true evil with this game, parents.

    CHARMANDER

    This Pokemon allegedly won “Gay’s Favorite Pokemon Pet of the Year” on horrible website Joe My God.com.  That’s proof enough of how bad this Pokemon is.

    LIONHEART

    This Pokemon is a rare treat, called a legendary.  Somewhere along the line, there must have been a Christian programmer who infiltrated Blizzard and created a good character.  Though this one is rare to find, it uses Christian powers like “Judgement” and “Roar” to scare away all the other Pokemon and has no sinful qualities about it.  Though the Japanese probably through the game developer for this character in a Gulag, he was able to program the Pokemon original source code in such a way that this character is impossible to code out of any Pokemon game without the Japanese having to start from scratch, which would take them too long to do.

    BONGOZULU

    This character uses African witchmagic and teaches kids how to say some phrases associated with such.  The evil rating here is 9/10, so if your kid is speaking Ebonics and ‘Axing’ for things, you may have a Bongozulu fan on your hands and should get your child some counseling and speech therapy.

    BeeCat

    Beecat is what happens when a bee mates with a cat.  How that is even possible, I am not sure but there you have it.  It can sting you with the ferocity of a cat sized bee, or maul you with the tenacity of a hive of miniature flying cats.  Whatever the case, it’s all evil and rabies would be a safer outcome than having this maniacal beast trying to snip at you.

     =>  GO TO PAGE 2 to see Rest of Sinful Pokemon

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    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!
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