21 Pokemon Brought To Life By an Artist
Twilight
This Pokemon is a demon ritual blood type, basically the respresentation of a vampire on the game. We all know the statistics. 1 out of 3 kids who are infatuated with vampire lore do blood drinking rituals and have pregnancy pap smear parties with one another. If that’s not bad enough, they get drunk on drinks called Clamato and do not remember what they did until they are at the hospital 9 months later, popping out a crying sack of shame for you and the family.
MEWTWO
It’s a cat, evolved. There cannot be much more evil than that.
MagicMint Berry
Drug dealers always try to come up with fun, cutesy names for marjuana so that it sounds more family friendly and tasty. They don’t want kids to know that it’s a gateway drug to cracked cocaine and prostitution, it’s addictive effects nothing compared to how it causes cancer and meth mouth to develop. Malibu Mellowmelon, Caribbean chill, The Soothing Scwaggy, Uncle Tweey Puff’s Cherry Smoke. These names are all things your children will know as ‘flavors’ of Maryjane, but they all will be wanting a puffy puff pass of this MagicMint Berry. If you don’t want your child arrested as a future drug addict, keep them away from Pokemon.
CherrySnatcherz
Look at the hand of this miniature version of Pikachu. It is suggestively pointing its fingers at a cherry on a fresh spring bush. Wake up, parents! That is subliminal Japanese for plowing your daughter’s untouched secret gardens! How sick do you have to let a game get before you agree to BURN IT ALL! If you see this game in your home, BURN IT AND DEMAND YOUR CHILD NEVER PLAYS IT AGAIN.
Pokemon is an evil game and it cannot be stressed enough. Hopefully this expose on their characters has opened your eyeballs and let you know what sick filthy this all is!
DeviantArt
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!
10:44 pm
Holy shit…I try not to swear but I find it necessary right now…How do you manage to get so much wrong…So much in fact that it would take an essay to counter this…I mean seriously Snooki? This is idiotic on a brand new scale…
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4
11:00 pm
Snooki isnt a pokemon so i guess so
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3
12:59 am
The march of the geniuses…
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1:02 am
Care to remind us who made Skyrim, Billings?
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1:55 pm
Care to remind us the last time you had a job, or even a hot shower? You sick little freak. How much pot did you smoke today?
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2:09 pm
Wow, and you bitch about ad hominem attacks all the time. Well, I took a shower today, I’m at work right now waiting for some scans to finish, and I’ve never smoked pot in my life.
Your move, old man.
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2:22 pm
Some scans? What are you a doctor know cat scanning for tumors? You’re lies just get more outrageous by the day, kiddo.
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2:28 pm
I said scans, you interpreted that as being a doctor. There are quite a few different types of scans. You’re the idiot for not thinking.
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2:30 pm
By the way, that’s some pretty shitty grammar and spelling abilities you have there, Billings.
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2:30 pm
Oh pipe down Comedian, we all know you unemployed and probably smoking a pot joint right now.
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2:32 pm
Why are you calling me comedian? And nice ad hominem there, jackass.
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2:46 pm
Considering how he’ll switch from berating and calling people a ‘california hipster’ to asking how their day is, to shouting out ‘STEAK SANWICH’, I’m willing to bet he’s bipolar.
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6:15 pm
You’re all a bunch of Saturday Night Nancys.
Steak Sandwich one and all!!!!
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11:03 pm
The amount of stupid in this is so incredible, it’d actually take LESS time to explain what’s RIGHT with it.
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11:15 pm
I hate how they use celebrities to get kids to take a taste of these sinful games. I bet that Snooki beast is particularly nasty and just suggestive with its body movements. What version did they put her in?
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11:16 pm
Are you that stupid?
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11:18 pm
What? The very first pokemon in Abe’s article is bad enough. A Pokemon that sloshes a tongue around and you cannot tell me it doesn’t look like a dog’s red rocket. What sort of sickos would allow this game to exist without fighting it?
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11:22 pm
The fact that you look at a tongue and go ‘dog penis’ immediately shows just what kind of person you are. The fact that you think these pictures accurately represent the Pokemon they claim to shows how stupid you are. The fact that you think Snooki is a Pokemon shows how incredibly retarded you are.
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11:24 pm
The fact that you look at the first picture and try to deny it’s not designed to be a dog’s penis shows you’re a sick liberal. Why would you let a child play this game you perv? I’m sure your fantasy girl Claire can tell you that the shape is spot on and the subliminal message the Japanese are trying to get across is blatant.
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11:26 pm
Adam, you have a bestiality fetish going on in your brain, don’t you? Again, you look at a tongue and go ‘dog penis’ immediately. You’re just trying to cover up your insecurities, you sick freak.
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11:34 pm
No, you idiot. Just like when you look in the mirror and think ‘idiot’, you cannot help but look at that first image and think ‘dog penis’ when you see it. It’s blatant and that’s why this Pokemon game needs to be removed from shelves. Hopefully parents will read this, get scared and take away anything Pokemon related that their children own.
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11:35 pm
Or they’ll realize that you’re all a bunch of sickos who are also paranoid fools and into animal fucking.
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2:21 pm
Adam, are you really this freaking retarded? It would be easier to believe that the sun is made of ice (which it isn’t, in case you were still trying to figure that out) than to believe that you’re mentally stable.
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1:15 am
Snooki isn’t a Pokemon…Abe is just on some horrible drug trip and thinking crazy thoughts.
As for your issues with the first Pokemon (Named Lickitung, not whatever lunacy Abe put) That pic is just fan art, here’s what the actual Pokemon looks like; http://guidesmedia.ign.com/guides/9846/images/lickitung.gif
If you think it looks like a dog’s penis, you’re mind is in the gutter..,
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1:11 am
Some of them look like tyson and susan.
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1:23 am
That description for Lionheart ( Which isn’t it’s name, it’s actually Arcanine) is so stupid…
Arcanine isn’t a legendary and is somewhat easy to obtain. It’s not based off anything Christian, it’s based off the Shisa from Okinawan myth…It was out in the game on purpose.
And Eevee, you’re confusing it with the anime/manga Naruto…Eevee is just a plain fox and has NOTHING to do with Naruto whatsoever…They are two seperate things…
And for Oddish ( Which isn’t an Oddish, it’s a Gastly) your description is both false and idiotic…
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1:35 am
Why do you have to focus so much attention on the one Pokemon that’s a Christian. You just hate the fact that there is a decent character in the game, don’t you?
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1:41 am
I actually played Pokemon Leaf Green when I was 7. Sadly “Lion Heart” (Arcanine) isn’t legendary because you can go to the Safari park and catch plenty of those.
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3:11 am
Let’s make this simple for you since you missed the point of my comment…
There is NO Christian Pokemon. Zip, nada, none.
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1:26 am
Loved the article about how Pokemon looks like IRL. If you’re going to add more pictures, I’ll be happy to give you the names of the Pokemon, so you won’t confuse your readers. But right now, stick to Legend of Zelda. ChristWire has called it a “Christian game”. http://christwire.org/2011/11/a-holy-video-game-to-save-non-believers/
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3:54 am
“you can see the developers at Blizzard Games (the Japanese porno company behind this game and others like World of Warcraft and Skyrim) ”
*facepalm* I don’t know how I missed this the first time…It’s like they think Blizzard is the only game developer out there…
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7:12 am
Obviously, these Pokemon games are like a gateway drug for children before they move on to more explicit game content like skyrimming and shooting up “skooma”.
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2:40 pm
Ugh. You people really are this idiotic aren’t you?
1. Lickitounge. Not Lesbiatounge. Not even gonna go into that
2. Parasect. Not Parshashroom. The is no move called MJ grasstype, and after you use sleep, it says “your pokemon’s health is fully restored!”
3. Togepi. Not ToGayPee. I just can’t even comprehend how stupid that description is I’m not gonna go into it either. Same with Snooki, since it was explained before.
You know what? The pokemon descriptions are so stupid they prove themselves wrong, so I’m gonna stop there.
“Pokemon is an evil Japanese video game meant to teach children about anime and perversion. Pokemon is literally the Japanese word for “Pok” (perverted thrust) “emon” (prostate monster)”
Pokemon was created in Japan yes, but in Japan, it’s called Pocket Monsters. The name “Pokemon” was created in America, so blame America on the name if you have these kinds of problems with it. Pokemon is just Pocket Monsters shortened (POK from Pocket and MON from Monsters). And Anime isn’t Japanese for pornography. Anime is Animation shortened you ignoramus.
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3:36 pm
Actually some anime are pornography such as hentai, yaoi, and yuri.
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5:24 pm
While thats true…Try telling the Christwire folk that…They think “anime” is the word for porn…
They like you Ex-Otaku, perhaps you can be the one they’ll listen to…
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5:29 pm
Ex-Otaku, I do know about the whole “hentai, yaoi, and yuri” stuff. All I said was that Anime was not Japanese for pornography. There are different types of Anime (Shojo, Shonen, Yuri, Yaoi, Hentai etc.) like different types of cartoons (Intended for: Boys, Girls, Teens, Babies, Adults, etc.)
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5:39 pm
I can’t believe that you are advocating pornography for teens, but saying you want babies to watch it, that is just horrific. You are a sex pervert, and should be put in a mental hospital or a jail.
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6:30 pm
Once again Bruce you fail to read. Mentally handicap person would be able to read it correctly yet you can’t.
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12:30 am
Does that mean you should be put in jail… after all you are a ‘Sex Pervert’ aren’t you
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7:23 am
Hello. I’m new here to this site but been reading about your articles for a little over a year now. Since I now made an account (after reading many), I would like to have an input on them as those who have been here longer than I, already have.
Here is a little story for you Christwire folk: It started simply as a hobby of Satoshi Tajiri, (created and founder of Pocket Monsters, or American English “Pokèmon”), who as a child had a fondness for catching insects and tadpoles near his home in suburban Tokyo. Over time, Tajiri decided to put his idea of catching creatures into practice, to give children the same thrills he had.
With the help of Ken Sugimori, and other friends, Tajiri formed Game Freak and much later the design studio known as Creatures. Earlier designs resulted in what was first know as “Capsule Monsters”, which in Tajiris’ earlier years, had already made concept artwork when he was bug collecting as a child.
Long story short, after working with the final designs with Ken Sugimori and Game Freak, they then worked with Nintendo to put Pocket Monsters on the video game market as the final product. When the games hit America back in the 90′s, America had changed the name to “Pokèmon” to shorten the original title. Also, while the game had came out during its earlier years, Nintendo also had made a trading card game to go along with it as well.
So, what you call an “evil Japanese game” was actually quite harmless since the origin came from a young boy who enjoyed his time bug collecting.
As for the names of the pic’s, I can see that some people who oppose them have already commented on it that they are undoubtedly, incorrect. I will however, applaud for the artwork that the fans had made.
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7:34 am
That’s the origin of Pokemon? Man, that is amazing…I’ve never heard that before. Thank you for sharing!
Also, welcome to the fray…Brace yourself…
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7:39 am
From what I could find, this is to be the origin of game(s) from what I understand.
Thank you! And, I will.
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7:56 am
Satan was the origin of these games, then the homogays took them over from him, but gays and Satan are good friends, so there wasn’t a fight.
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8:17 am
A young boy, born before you ever were and wasn’t pampered, is considered a Satanist for doing something he loved doing and wanted other children his age to enjoy? Gays had nothing to do with him having a hobby, let alone had influenced him to create the games in the 90′s.
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8:34 am
A man born in 1965 is not older than me, Child. I also know that he sold his soul to Satan for riches in order to create this travesty. Satoshi Tajiri couldn’t stand having a real job, selling Nissan cars, so he asked the dark lord to help him. He was an awful artist, so Satan said “I’ll make you famous with Japanese porn called ‘Anime’, none of those slanty-eyed jerks can draw things either.”
I know my history of Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh, so don’t argue with me again!!!
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11:41 am
” I also know that he sold his soul to Satan for riches in order to create this travesty.”
“I know my history of Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh, so don’t argue with me again!!!”
Bruce you don’t know anything whatsoever. You’re just an idiot with a big ego…
Pokemon has nothing to do with Satan
Nothing to do with gay people
Nothing to do with porn.
If I were you I’d stay away from your computer because everytime you touch your keyboard, nothing but moronic rambling comes from it.
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1:39 pm
You are not aware of the evil that Satan is bringing into the home with this game! You are wrong and have no basis for your facts! Pokemon is actually based on the Egyptian book of death NOT “bug hunting”.
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8:46 am
I wasn’t attempting to argue for I was separating fact from fiction. I was giving some insight of what had become of the games. I apologize for my comment about the age. I haven’t read enough articles on here to find out how old you are and should have asked beforehand. I only ask for you not to call me a child, that is all.
Still, my point being about Mr. Tarjiri having a hobby as a kid of bug collecting had no impact from gays at all. He did what he loved doing in his younger years and that was what it really mattered to him. I’m sure you, heck, all of us even, had something in our childhood that we all enjoyed doing during those years. Mine was legos.
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9:08 am
Mine hobby was reading the Bible and believing in God. I will pray for your “Lego” affliction and hope that you don’t spread it to others.
http://christwire.org/2012/03/legos-how-one-vulgar-ambidextrous-toy-opened-the-door-for-gay-marriage-in-denmark/
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9:19 am
So Enigma is not so much of an enigma after all!
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9:24 am
It’s only a title. Popped in my head when I was signing up is all.
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9:22 am
I have also read the bible and believed in God. But I enjoyed the other things in life and became more focused on being happy than concerned about faith.
Thank you for the link. I’ve read it before a few months ago to which I had then laughed because I thought it was silly.
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9:32 am
You laughed at it??? You must be a Norwegian type then because nobody laughs at Stephenson Billings journalism, except the Dutch.
http://christwire.org/2011/06/are-you-a-dutch-you-might-be-the-devil/
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9:37 am
To be all fair, I’m not Dutch, nor do I live within that region. But yes, I did chuckle a little while reading it at work.
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11:43 am
“…because nobody laughs at Stephenson Billings journalism”
EVERYONE laughs at Billing’s “journalism”.
It’s really hard to not laugh sometimes.
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12:35 am
I laugh at them =)
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10:02 am
I’m Tom Riddle and I have Christian values.
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10:03 am
Dirty mixed breeds. They’re just as bad as werewolves. Only purebloo- I mean Christian, American, white males should live!
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3:24 pm
This is the most stupid thing i have ever read about pokemons… also Snooki and that dinosaur are not a pokemon… Neither it naruto… Naruto is an different anime and character… that pokemon is eevee…
“This Pokemon has Satanic symbol written all over its body. The diamond shape means diamond back rattle snake, the egg, a symbol of lesbianism. ToGayPee is a symbol of Satan corrupting Eve in the garden of Eden, leaving Adam all alone with himself and sinful thoughts. It makes him want to touch himself and ‘To Gay Pee”, that is, to touch your twaddle dandy until a gay’s pee comes out and you moan in sin. Why are you parents letting your children still play this game?”
Diamon shapes? In the original pictures you see triangles. It’s even so in the anime. So there is no satanic symbols. Also how could you think of such a name? To gay pee? Wtf is wrong with you? Do you really think that kids think of such names when they watch pokemon? I can tell you that they don’t care about it. It’s togeepi and not “to gay pee”. Stop making things out and get real… you have issues.
Won’t even comment other ones, because it’s such a made out bullshit that i can’t rellay belive how brainless some people are with making things out.
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10:33 pm
…Do you guys always write about shit even when you don’t know what your talking about because not a single piece of information in this artical is true
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4:23 pm
All I have to say is, I’m Christian, I believe in God, what I don’t believe is that anything that not to “The Bible” is something from the devil, also that you people are Christians.
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4:59 pm
…There’s no way in hell (or heaven [pun intended])that this website is legitimate. It’s too fucking funny. If people take this seriously, I have no sympathy… It’s your choice to be extremely feeble- and close-minded.
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6:21 pm
All these jimmies hath been rustled.
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8:10 pm
I have given up on humanity… ._.
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