• $5 Gas Prices, Gays Are To Blame

    March 2, 2012 9:47 am 155 comments
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  • The scene above from the gay pride movie Zoolander depicts the gay act of gas guzzling, an action now being reproduced in mass and sending the nation’s gas prices skyrocketing.  $5 dollar gas in your city?  Gays are to blame.

    Gas guzzling.  It is the latest trend being popularized by the gay community.  No longer satisfied hopping up on 8 ball and crack rock before their perverse late night victory celebrations in all the new gay marriage states, gays are now throwing wild gasoline fume fueled orgies where they strip off their clothing and wildly shake their heads, lighting matches and reveling in a hellish pit of tight thighs and clenched adominal muscles, pulsing musky bodies together until they all release and sashay in ecstasy.

    It is all confusing to those who choose to be normal, but these little gay gasoline orgies are costing America big time.  Already, we see that gas prices have increased 50 cents in one day on the East coast, nearly by a dollar in some West coast cities.  Initially, I thought that the only way to fix this problem was to nuke Tehran, Iran and take official ownership of every OPEC nation.  But due to supply and demand, and Obama allowing gay marriage and these little gas gut grenadier sessions, the sudden decrease of gasoline is forcing our dear friends in the oil industry to have to raise the prices at the pump, against their will.

    Only until we as a country stand up against the gay community, Obama and every piece of legislation that challenges DOMA, the gas prices will go up.  

    Dear friends, the gays are already marinated in the combustible juices of fecal sins.  In their soul’s mind, subconciously, they all already know they are playing with spiritual gasoline and fire every time they dabble in homosexuality.  Their throwing these massive, impromptu gasoline orgies is just a symbolic expression of how they live their life and what happens to all sinners when they die!

    Satan must be chuckling with delight as the irony of it all.  All of us proper people are suffering the $5 gas prices, while the gays party it up like sinful Israelies spreading their unclothed loins before the golden calf of Ba’al.  Let’s put a stop to all this my friends and vote Obama out of the White House in 2012, then make a federal law that states no two of the same gender can be married in any state.

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    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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