Apple Unveils AIRE Mask, Your Breath Can Now Power Your iPhone, Tablet, or iPad
New AIRE Mask and Smartphone uses wind power from the lungs to keep personal electronic devices charged and operating.
We’ve all faced it, the agonizing point in time we’re in mid-conversation on our phone that’s facing battery asystole. After several weak beeps and a depleted, red battery symbol later, men are desperately squatting by outlets in airports and women tempted to turn a few tricks just to get to an iota more battery life for that danged phone.
What’s shocking is that in the year 2012, when we have to debate if it’s financially feasible to travel to Mars and we can instantly communicate face-to-face with any person in the world, that we still have phone batteries that can’t keep charge for more than a day or two.
Sure, we’re still so primitive that we cannot clearly communicate in a Sonic’s drive-thru without sounding like we’re Picard trying to send a message to Earth through the Orion nebula, being chased by midichlorian-toking Borg stormtroopers (that’d actually be pretty sweet), but until this point in time battery technology has seemed just about as shockingly bad as the scratchable surface of a cd.
The image you see of the lovely model with a rebreather on her face shows the future of humanity. Taught and tight bodied individuals, merrily running through open fields because we don’t have to worry about faulty battery charges. The item she has on her face is called the AIRE mask and it is expected to revolutionize activity and battery power.
The mask harnesses the wind power that’s created when we breath out. Imagine a wind farm. Your lungs are the massive gales of power, the mask the spinning turbine converter and your electronic device the beneficiary.
The device will be able to power any personal electronic device, including iPods, iPads, tablets and your mobile.
This clever piece of American technology is currently being built in Brazil and built by a Brazilian. That does not matter because Apple fanboys will claim Steve Jobs’ ghost built it and will authorize it for world distribution in 2013.
Exhausted after a long Saturday of a wife’s weekend nagging and taking the kid to their sports meet, this exhausted father finally relaxes on his couch and lets his mighty snores power and charge his cell phone.
The device’s true creator is hoping this invention can help reduce pollution, the dependence on batteries and increase human’s recognition that our bodies can power devices.
AIRE mask compatible devices may soon opt to use a new type of ‘storage battery’ as well. New batteries will have a life of 15 years and can store up energy we use while running, talking, horizontal polka with the wife in the bedrooming or any other physical activity. Even sitting and breathing it enough power to charge up many devices.
While the function of the AIRE mask is still in its early stages, its important to remember its not a replace for batteries trying to keep a full gadget phone that’s running apps, taking pictures and being a mini-computer for hours on end. That technology is in progress, but a human-powered/solar hybrid charged device is a environmentally friendly alternative to which everyone call look forward.
There is also the benefit of having a ‘backup’ emergency phone, currently being called the SmartOne. The SmartOne phone is currently designed to be a backup emergency phone, to be stored in a car’s safety kit. If your main phone dies, with just a few puffs of the breath you will have a fully charged phone that can call anywhere in the world. Not too shabby.
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Author: Jerry Cohen
JP Cohen
2:46 pm
I’d wear one of these just to look like Sub Zero from Mortal Kombat
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9:38 pm
I’ll join you.
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10:12 am
Hell, with this mask you could be Sub-Zero, Scorpion, Noob Saibot, Reptile, Chameleon, or Smoke…You could even throw Cyrax and Sektor in as well…So many possibilities…
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9:57 pm
I’ll join you guys.
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3:15 pm
I get a little satisfaction thinking of some kid in China working so hard to make inconsequential batteries for me. I’ll happily keep paying for spent batteries.
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3:17 pm
If it’s made by apple I’m sure there’s a hormone that causes bisexuality and veganism in it.
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4:30 pm
Asians are silly people.
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4:32 pm
And you’re racist.
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6:30 pm
Nope.
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4:10 pm
oh if your not racist then what are you? a twat?
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8:56 pm
Obvious shop. Also, straight from cracked.com. You can tell it’s a shop not only because Apple would probably announce something like this, but also by the rendered straps that have suspiciously higher fidelity than the rest of the stock images.
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9:01 pm
I usually reserving cussing for special occassion, but I think this warrants it. You’re a dumbass, which I guess I could have said you’re a dumbliberal or dumbdemocrat. This thing has been all over the news It’s pretty weird looking but what concerns me is since breathing rate powers it, homosexual clubs will throw giant AIRE orgies and text the pictures on their little fecalbreath powered devices to Twitter and such. Yuck.
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9:07 pm
“homosexual clubs will throw giant AIRE orgies and text the pictures on their little fecalbreath powered devices to Twitter and such. ”
Do you guys seriously think homosexuals just throw random orgies at any given moment?
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9:11 pm
Yes. I’ve had to treat my share of homosexual patients who were suffering the aftermaths of said orgies. So, yeah, they do.
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9:29 pm
You’re wrong. Homosexuals do in fact have a tendency to be flamboyant, but they also know boundaries and are more willing to respect them than most heterosexuals I know.
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9:57 pm
Liar. Homosexuals are known for their infidelity in relationships, showing lack of respect for boundaries. They are also more prone to invade another’s personal body space.
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9:41 pm
If that were true, my apartment would be swimming in homosexuals from random orgies thrown by my flat mate…Never has their been an orgy in my apartment and my friend would never join in one because he loves his boyfriend and would never cheat on him.
You guy Ericsson know absolutely nothing about homosexuals.
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9:43 pm
“You guy Ericsson know absolutely nothing about homosexuals.
”
I’m about to take a hammer to this phone because of the damn autocorrect!
I meant: you guys seriously know absolutely nothing about homosexuals.
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4:29 am
So your boyfriend’s name is Ericson? Is that Norweigan?
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5:31 am
You obviously don’t know how to read since I corrected my typo in the comment just above yours. I don’t have a boyfriend, I am straight.
Anyway, on to the real point. Infidelity can occur in straight relationships as well. My friend has been with his boyfriend, problem free, for 4 years now with his 5th year coming up soon.
As for boundaries, they can vary from person to person. Saying all gays Disrespect boundaries is a false statement. Same applies to the personal space comment.
How about instead of making facts up you just stop typing before you look stupid.
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9:30 pm
Look for it on their website. Where, you know, they put up ALL of their products.
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10:12 pm
this link is the best: http://www.bing.com/social/search/updates?q=charging%20mask&p1=%5bSocialTweetAnswer%20src=%22tw%22%5d%5bSocialAnswer%20src=%22tw%22%5d&FORM=TWWDSO
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10:10 pm
Wow…..http://www.webandtime.com/phone-charging-mask
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10:11 pm
Its on Bing news too http://www.bing.com/news/search?q=charging+mask&qpvt=charging+mask&FORM=EWRE
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9:41 pm
I think you people lack a understanding of atheism so let me clarify.
In our society the human psyche has (in my opinion) 3 primary levels. The first level is apparent joviality, jokes, hobbies, fun things. The second level however is sadness, the drudgery of everyday life, work, family, all that. And there is also sadness in bad things you see happening, wars, human rights violations, racism, murder. However under that there is a third level, inner happiness, the kind you can only get from deeper things, like helping others. This is where atheism and theism split off, theism tries to bring meaning to this third layer with religion, faith in something greater, and hope of an afterlife. Atheism however brings meaning through the things that are all around us, primarily this has to do with human connection, friends, family, helping others, for atheists the thing greater than ourselves is not god, but the community. For atheists (and potentially buddhists) the way to find meaning is by believing in your self and others, by making other people happy, by living a life that is good for the world and yourself. This is part of the reason I am a brony, all the ethical values brought up in MLP breach the second layer of the psyche and show that helping others and friendship is the right thing to do, and that counteracts the bad things in the world. So as you can see atheism is just my way of trying to be in the 3d layer of the psyche, I believe (and many atheists share this sentiment) that the meaning of life and happiness is not god, but other people. Dont be focused on faith and things you dont know about, help the world, make everything around you better, and through that you can be happy without religion. If you need what I am trying to say to be given to you in song listen to this.
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4:18 pm
Americans are brilliant inventors but I wouldn’t be caught dead in one of these ugly things. First of all, I have enough trouble breathing and second why would I want to look like some homosexual vaccum cleaner with one of these things? I have a good old fashioned socket in the wall of my house and that’s good enough for me!
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4:19 pm
Well…while i dont agree with his Homesexual vaccum cleaner thing i do agree a plug socket is good enough for me altho looking like subzero is awsome
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