NASA captured the holy Hand of God slinging asteroid 2012 Da14 months ago, near the X90 galaxy cluster. Scholars now agree that the asteroid is on a collision coarse with Earth and naturally, gays are to blame.
NASA – Shocked and bewildered scientists at NASA are terrified, not knowing how to publicly break the news that in 2013 the Earth may be struck by Asteroid 2012 Da14. Pictured at left in the now famous “Hand of God” media photo I first brought to the world. In my initial scientific survey of this image, I warned that God was angry because he knew in the future, America would have more gay marriage states in 2012.
I knew it and I warned all gays to stop being gay. I warned them, just wake up one day and stop dreaming of how you can fester your dipstick in the oily wells of your bottom boy’s backside. I warned senators and Obama to stop letting gay parents adopt children. Well, guess what. Liberals ignored the warnings and now the asteroid shall come!
Oh, what a fiery day of chaos it will be. Little meteors striking deep in the heart of San Francisco! West Hollywood wiped out by a tsunami tidal wave! Bye-bye, SoHo in New York. Better rename yourselves OH OH, here’s comes the fire that’ll burn us all to hell!
Why on Earth would you not fear God, gays and their supporters? Why must you selfishly bring damnation upon us all. Look at how forcefully God is grabbing that asteroid in the picture, casually chucking int toward Earth. He’s so angry it’s his MIDDLE NAME!
And let me tell you something else. This is just God warming up in the bullpen. This is God just playing with a random pitcher in the D-leagues. He’s not even letting out the Cal Ripken fury here, but when he does, damnation and destruction shall be called with the ultimate strike out!
Right now, we’re in the 7th inning stretch. We can still go to the grandvoting stands and vote Obama out of office in 2012. We can help ourselves to 4-years of Rick Santorum. Under his management, the US can still beat the Hell’s Satan Scepters and wipe the smug smile off their faces with a 9th inning grand slam of making DOMA required for all 50 states!
Puerto Rico, Mexico and Canada too! Every nation in the Western Hemisphere, by order of Monroe Doctrine, must be banned from allowing gayality to take place within their borders. If God has to strike down the Eastern hemisphere, so be it! They are nothing but oil-grubbing, terror loving, non-appreciative for America saving them from Nazi brats over there as is. This asteroid would do them some good.