• Computer Games: Bootcamps of the Dark Lord

    March 7, 2012 2:35 pm 1 comment
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  • As we venture full throttle into the 21st Century my friends, i worry at the state of our world and especially the future of it. Fifty years ago the world was a very different place. Respect was rampant, pollution was rare. But the ever expanding Digital Age has put our values on hold and our society in reverse, hurtling down the spiral back towards the verocity of dark ages.

    Why, just last week i scolded a young scallywag for trying to stealing my car and attempting to mow me down with it. But when i told thier parents (who happen to be neighbours of mine) about the incident, they just laughed and said ‘Girls will be girls’. What does that even mean? Is it because she is only 11, that i should just let it go with a simple ‘Oh well, kids these days’? Respect in my day was given to my elders because, as kids, they knew that we knew that they knew better. Nowadays we have kids running the streets until all hours of the night with thier stealing, breaking and even killing just to get what they want and this, dear reader, makes me sad. Sad that even in my own home, i have to carry a bottle of holy water and .357 Magnum just in case the local kids of the area decide after thier daily ‘session’ they want a little midnight snack and decide to break into my home before basting me in BBQ sauce and devouring my very being. Dont laugh, it happened to a friend of mine. All they found of him was a few of his bones, his left shoe and half a pocket watch.

    But where would they have gotten such an sadistic idea? That, my friends, is what i write to you about today. To make you aware of the recent discovery i have made. A correlation as it were, between todays youth and thier behaviour compared to that of the youth of fifty years ago.

    I talk about the inception of Computer Games, the most sinister and seductive form of recruitment that Satan has ever created. Where else would such an evil thought have come from? Many, many games have massive amounts of violence, mind boggling volumes of foul language, some even allow you to eat your kill (hence where the neighbourhood kids got the idea) after shooting, maming, skinning, drilling, gauging, stabbing and possibly defiling your ‘in game’ target.

    Satan must be having a field day (no pun intended) with the gratuitous amount of Sin that is being bought and sold on a daily basis. Some people are playing and sinning so much, they are dying right in front of thier Devil Window’s (or Computers for those who have missed my previous sermons).

    Imagine something so addictive, you die from using it too much. Incomprehensible you say? 10 years ago, i would have thought so too. But now with games like ‘Insane Robot Killers’ or ‘Cannibal City: The Holocaust’ or even the grotesquely violent ‘Mario Kart All Stars’, our future generations hardly stand a chance against the might and perserverance of the Dark Lord.

    ‘But Pastor River, what can we do?’ you might ask. Well, at this point in time it’s already too late to take back the idea that is the ‘game’. Millions have been exposed to them. What we can do though is create a catalogue of games instilled with the holy spirit. I myself am currently in the process of creating a game called ‘Conquest: The Jesus Files’ where the player walks the virtual earth as Jesus, spreading good will and cheer throughout the realm. Not wanting to touch a Devil Window though, i have hired a professional to do it for me. I’m hoping to have this development completed and presented to the world by 2013, so until such time please, be vigilant and pray for those you know that have been affected by this work of Satan.

    Hallelujah brothers and sisters. Pastor River.

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    About The Author
    Pastor River Just a humble man, trying to spread the good word of the lord.

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