iPad 3 Unveiled on March 7th – New Porn Aps Guaranteed to Drive Sales
iPad 3 Unveiled on March 7th – New Porn Aps Guaranteed to Drive Sales
By Brother Johnathan Bane
Apple is expected to introduce the latest iteration of its popular iPad tablet computer during an event in San Francisco next week. Apple says the new iPad has all the features as the iPad 2 but the company’s new pornographic aps are expected to drive sales topping the $24 billion mark based on sales figures for the iPad 2.
The iPad 3 is expected to include the voice-activated assistant Siri, which was the main feature on the iPhone 4S. As well, the new iPad could have a higher-resolution screen, among other upgrades. But the controversial “Porn Ap” that will connect the user with most major pornographic websites including You Porn, X-Tube, Porn.com, Porn Pros,
Bang Bros and Evil Angel to name just a few.
Downloads will be available with the new Porn Ap, but not everyone is pleased to see the new application. Mothers Against Pornography (M.A.P.) the Christian Coalition of America are leading the charge to stop the release before it reaches stores. ‘We seriously object to this obscene application and it will make porn available to kids,” said Mary Lithgow, president of M.A.P.
But Apple executives have issued a statement advising parents that youngsters will not be able to access any porn sites because of Apple’s built-in feature that asks if the user is 18 years of age or older. By clicking on YES only adults will have access to adult websites. When a youngster clicks on NO all adult sites will be automatically blocked from that user.
A number of Christians groups are outraged and have petitioned the government to step in and stop Apple’s introduction of the new iPad 3 expected to occur on March 7th. But government officials claim Apple is doing nothing wrong citing that any computer can access dirty pornographic websites and it has no legal authority to control material on the World Wide Web.
A Christian protest denouncing the new Porn Aps is scheduled in San Francisco for March 7th. A man identified only as “Sam” with TopPorn.com says the new aps are long overdue. I suppose this new Godless Ap is a sign of the times and the iPad 3 is an example of evil technology gone bad when unregulated by the Christian class and the government.
BJB
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Brother Johnathan Bane
Brother Johnathan Bane dedicated his life's work to the service of the Lord when he was a boy growing up in Los Angeles. He has been involved in ministry work most of his life. In 1992 he founded Brother Johnathan's Ministries to provide aid to those impoverished people of Uganda. Brother Johnson lived and worked to develop his ministry in Koya in the Busoga Province from 1999 - 2009. He is now retired and living in Agoura Hills, California where he works as a freelance writer and investigative journalist from home.
4:09 am
Do you honestly have any proof of this? And the picture you posted, the words in read is going doing. One app is messaging. One is Safari.
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6:07 am
What the apps really are starting from left: Safari, Messaging, Photos, and iTunes
Funny thing is that I’m posting from an iPhone, so all I had to do to check my screen…
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11:36 am
Thanks for telling us that, we’re all really impressed that you wasted all your money on an iPhone while you’re still stuck shacked up with a homosexual out of poverty. You really seem to have your head screwed on…
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1:30 pm
ummmmmmmm, that is a completely stupid statement. You have no fuckin idea if he is in poverty or not. and news flash bud: people who have iPads(including me), generally DO NOT live in poverty with a gay person (not that theres anything wrong with that, if thats what they want)
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3:24 pm
I’m not poor! YOU’RE the one who made that up. I live very well financial. I am also a heterosexual who chooses to live with my homosexual friend.
Shove off!
Thanks for helping out TheAgnosticOne!
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11:50 am
Great new everyone Ouroboros has an iPhone. Your iPhone does not include any porn apps. “Funny thing is that I’m posting from an iPhone, so all I had to do to check my screen…” When you dump that antique and get a new iPad 3 you’ll be able to push the porn apps to watch ur straight porn, and your roommate can also watch hie homogay porn!!! Just make sure you clean up your iPad 3 with bleach when he’s done with it.
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1:31 pm
ummmmmmm, I’m pretty sure that iPad will not release porn apps, it will get apple in too much trouble with lawsuits.
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11:15 am
Wow. Those are actual porn sites. But in any case, those are not porn aps. Releasing porn aps would get apple into too much trouble.
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11:19 am
How does the trick work then? I thought Apple’s Parental Controls prevented porn on a MAC. Did Steve Jobs lie to us?
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8:05 pm
Bonnets, Apple said that they banned porn in the App store, but they do a poor job. First, there are apps for Playb*y , pictures of “hot” girls, and sex positions. Secondly, it’s easy for companies to bypass them on Safari by changing their video type. You’re better off getting a 3rd party web filter to filter porn than rely on Apple’s parental controls.
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10:35 pm
Steve lied, and innocence died. It’s sad.
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12:51 pm
Bonnets now that Steve Jobs is dead there’s no end to what Apple executives will do to make money.
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1:51 pm
Tim Cook’s personal life seems to be interfering with work lately. That lifestyle is hard on anyone. Especially an older man like him.
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1:04 pm
What’s funny is you idiots believe this.
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1:33 pm
ummmmmm, those apps are: safari, mail, photos, and iTunes, which in no way are pornographic. You conservatives are SOOOOOOO stupid
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3:21 pm
IPads have been notorious at bringing pornography to children. Their design with its portability and big screen only encoruages this. Kids can hide away with these thing, take them to locked bathrooms and whatnot. Also, the practice of rubbing your hands all over a screen has a creepy underside about it, particularly when you consider children surfing graphic images (and then groping them!). I do not see how any Christian family would want to own one. They are pure wastes of money anyway. What’s the big deal? It looks like a giant mobile phone.
If parents are concerned about children using the internet, the best solution has always to buy only desktop computers and to set them up in a public space in the house– in the tv room for instance. That way Mother can watch tv and clean, while her son goes online. She can keep a subtle, watchful eye without seeming to be intrusive. It’s parenting 101, people!
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3:31 pm
“That way Mother can watch tv and clean, while her son goes online”
Wait, isn’t he just talkin about himself?
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3:35 pm
The fact that you think, in some twisted way, that pornography is aimed at children is highly disturbing.
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11:22 pm
@ L.N. who said…
“The fact that you think, in some twisted way, that pornography is aimed at children is highly disturbing.”
The fact that you don’t find targeting children to watch or act in pornography says a lot RN. I find your liberal position highly disturbing.
BTW Claire rubs her cat on her holier than holy’s is also highly disturbing. And your attack on Mr. Billings is childish.
Now let’s highlight tonight’s lesson. Claire uses one pussy to get another pussy off. And LN will burn in hell because he likes kiddy porn! People like you two I find highly disturbing.
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8:12 pm
My family uses iDevices and we use the free Bible apps from the App Store instead of owning actual Bibles because they take too much space. I use my iPad to draw pictures, take notes, learn a recipe and play games in my spare time. You can prevent children from watching porn by using the Parental Controls and disabling Safari and any 17+ rated apps in the App Store.
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9:18 pm
Well Hopefully apple learns to get it’s head on straight since that homogay hipster butt pirate Steve Jobs is gone.
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3:39 pm
Is it sad that a 22yr old, me, lives on his own while he’s what 50 Something? And he still lives with “mother”?
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6:48 pm
Yup, maybe in Cambridge where the women wear slack and the men wear eyeliner…
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6:50 pm
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” –Ephesians 6:1-4.
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6:52 pm
Is that your excuse for still living with your alcoholic, depressed mother? Stevie, I’m fairly certain that if someone throws stuff at you, they want you out of the house, and your mommy wasn’t drunk when she threw that bottle at you.
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6:58 pm
Comedian, this vintage Claire must bring you back to the old days… She has been terribly bitter and weird lately. I think she’s going through an awkward growth spurt or something.
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7:01 pm
“”Why not? Something has to work. Once, I dug a pit and filled it with clouds. Or was it clowns? Doesn’t matter. It didn’t slow him down. To be honest, it wasn’t the best idea. And it really began to smell. Must have been clowns. Clouds don’t smell bad. They taste of butter! And tears.” ”
-Sheogorath
There’s NO excuse to be loving with your mother still Billings…Just makes you a pathetic sack of flesh
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7:02 pm
Teenage, sweet Claire before she got bitter and ridiculously left wing.
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7:20 pm
Stevie, Claire has also been liberal since she joined this site, and why are you yearning for teenagers?
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6:51 pm
Oh Stevie, haven’t you realized that it’s not the 50′s anymore?
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2:31 pm
Says the person who posts links to bestiality videos.
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8:26 pm
Claire. In 1997 the ninth circuit court of appeals upheld federal restrictions on the trade and possession of animal based pornography. The federal laws in question ban any posting, hosting, possession, contribution to distribution, or distribution of animal pornography. A similar statute bans necrophilia in all forms, including that with other animals. What you did by posting that link was distribution, you have committed a felony.
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