Legos: How One Vulgar, Ambidextrous Toy Opened the Door for Gay “Marriage” in Denmark
The Kingdom of Denmark is set to legalize homosexual “marriage” later this month in a move that has been widely condemned as yet another step towards the dustbin of history for the once great nation. Theologians and educators have long criticized the country’s rejection of compassionate morality in favor of radical social engineering. Indeed, Danish cultural history is rife with the blind arrogance, sexual promiscuity and political anarchism of its spiritually primitive population. The Danes are a people with little respect for traditions and ethics, social science or even common sense. While they often exhibit a cold and bitter façade, many are deeply erratic inside and break down easily when confronted on either a personal or a national scale.
Taking a deeper look at the Danish problem, Christians will find many parallels to the liberal subculture of the United States. For one, their embrace of hardcore homosexuality can be traced back to ill-advised social experiments from the 1950s. Most fascinating of all is the connection with the popular children’s toy, the Legos.
The Lego was invented in Billund, Denmark in the 1930s by an alcoholic carpet salesman. Today, the company’s international headquarters are still based in the homely, ramshackle town. The toy was an instant success and by the 1960s, the Lego was a required part of childhood in the ambitiously socialist nation. The Danes celebrated their Legos because they suggested that even the smallest, most banal things could be built up into something great. In many ways, Danish society was like a single Lego: cheaply-manufactured, indistinguishable from a hundred other products and festooned in garish hues. The bright and vulgar colors were so vital for this European country because consumers had experimented with every other form of easy fad. They were addicts of new trends and false promises, yet somehow the Lego promised them a hope they had not encountered before.
The popularity of the Lego is due to its ambidextrous, gender-bending nature. It embodies a positive and a negative, space and the absence of space. It is both man and woman. The basic block was designed to mimic the human form. Four rows of two dots: the top represent eyes, the middle breasts, below is either the male testicles or the female ovaries, and at bottom are the Dane’s bare feet. Yes, the toy is shocking in its graphic sexual nature, but the Danish people loved them. Remember, this is a nation that openly embraces “naturism”– public beaches and parks where family nudity is the law. In fact, social nudity is so popular in Denmark that entire vacation resorts are dedicated to it. You witness men and women of all shapes and sizes showing off their strange, pale Danish bodies with absolutely no shame.
Physically, the Danes tend to be hairless and their skin has a slightly orange-yellowish tinge when naked. Bodybuilding is not common, so you often see rounded little bellies and flabby arms, wrinkled buttocks and dirty feet. For American tourists, it is a very odd place and many prefer to visit the far more fascinating cultures of France and Italy. Nearby, the nation of Sweden offers superior outdoor activities such as skiing and hiking, while the Germans to the south are known as a more hospitable, gentler people who welcome the wisdom and joyfulness of citizens from the United States. On the other hand, Norway to the north is not considered a recommended option due to high crime rates and the widespread alcoholism of its populace (the country has long desired to be adopted back as a territory of the Danish royal monarchy).
As the Lego reached its height of popularity in the late 1970s, children learned that they could attach these plastic people together any way they wanted. The feminine-colored ones fit into the masculine-colored ones, of course, but you could also snap two or even five men together quite easily and that was thrilling in a secret, homoerotic way. The same was true of the female part and the sad result was a generation of severe, moody Danish lesbians. Because of the dependence on the backside (the empty space) of the Lego, children were taught that bodies could connect through human backsides. In other words, the Lego introduced children to the idea of anal sodomy and made it seem like a pleasant, Danish game.
Sodomy has deep roots in Danish culture. One of the most country’s most famous philosophers, Søren Kierkegaard, wrote a book in the 19th century entitled Either/Or which was an examination of a mutable spirituality, the idea that one should be flexible in every possible way. The sexual implications were all too obvious and today it’s widely understood that the book’s title literally means “Either the front, or the back,” an “anything goes” approach to graphic homosexual sex. More recently, art house pornographer Lars Von Trier has been outed as an advocate of hardcore Danish sadomasochism while heavy metal pop group Volbeat has helped spread Denmark’s dangerous message of anarchy and group sodomy across Europe.
The question for Americans today is whether we will let a Legos-style sexual revolution happen on our soil. Clearly this sort of mistake seems appropriate for a decaying European monarchy like Denmark, but could it happen in America? Reverend Roy Sowerberry, a family values lobbyist in Washington, worries that it could. Concerning the Legos issue, he has stated:
“God has made it clear how he wants man and woman to fit together. But Legos fit together all kinds of ways: sideways, diagonally, one on top, three on the bottom or the other way around. There’s no limit to the ways they stick into each other. What message does that send to children?” –Richieville News Service, June 25, 2010.
Denmark may have failed as a nation, but this could be a teachable moment for the rest of the world. Like the communists, they aspired to make the federal state a parent to their children. The lesson learned from the Danish dilemma spreading across Europe is that we cannot let this happen in our homeland. We need to be watchful of what sort of messages our toys send and the very first step should be to discard all the Legos in the family environment. The extremist form of European sexuality they suggest is simply too great a risk. For the love of God and America, it’s just the right thing to do.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Stephenson Billings
Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package! Facebook me here or Fanmail me: StephensonBillings@yahoo.com !
2:37 pm
Just a correction:
You’re using the word ambidextrous wrong…It means ability to use both hands are when somethig is made for two hands specifically…Like I’m ambidextrous because I can use both hands…
Hot debate. What do you think?
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3:03 pm
No one wants to hear your nonsense.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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3:08 pm
I’m just stating facts. If you think facts are nonsense, then user why you are crazy
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3:51 pm
It’s getting a bit wearing reading your fatuous boasting here. You seem to think you are some kind of authority on graphics, the English language and everything else. Now you’re telling you are ambidextrous too. You must be the most talented shelf-stacker in the country.
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3:56 pm
“graphics”
Isn’t that hard to tell when a pic is photoshopped.
“the English language”
It’s called a dictionary…
“Now you’re telling you are ambidextrous too”
I’m not boasting about ambidextrous. I only said I happen to be ambidextrous. Dosen’t make me better than anyone just because I can use both hands.
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8:17 pm
Ouroboros, as you have learned through that whole “cum gutters” thing, dictionaries don’t contain every word in a language.
The next thing for you to learn is that dictionaries don’t contain every usage of every word.
Take the word omnivorous. Many dictionaries will list such usages as “she’s an omnivoroous reader”, but few will list such common usages as “she’s sexually omnivorous”.
I find it enormously ironic that you constantly accuse the Christwire folk of being hidebound by a dusty old book when you cleave to an unidentified “dictionary” and point-blank refuse to believe anything that’s not in it.
That’s called projection. Look it up.
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8:50 pm
How about I leave my “unidentified “dictionary”” and believe outside it when Christwire posts actual facts or dosen’t get even simple facts wrong, how about that?
The reason it looks like I never leave my bubble is because the christwire folk have yet to convince that whatever they say isn’t dribble.
There’s a needed thing called common sense, and none I the christwire people have any.
(btw, I’m not including you in with the christwire folk in the last statement because you actually have some common near are able to back up most of your arguments.)
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10:49 pm
Ouroboros, I know you have honesty and a willingness to learn, and for that I commend you.
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11:01 pm
Why thank you. Honestly, I am learning quite a bit from Christwire…but in an opposite way then they think…
Usually when I read something on here, I’ll take some time to do some light research. So i have learned some new things just not in the way Christwire wants me to
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11:11 pm
The good folks of Christwire only want you to learn the Truth. With a capital T.
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3:24 am
If you bothered to check your dictionary, ambidextrous also means deceptive or hypocritical.
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5:06 am
What dictionary are you using? I can’t find that definition…
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5:59 am
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ambidextrous
also thefreedictionary…
The more pertinent question is what dictionary you’re using…
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12:22 pm
Well I’ll be damned, I was using the same dictionary but somehow missed the part about duplicity…
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2:45 pm
Ambidextrous. You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.
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8:29 pm
Using Aleister Crowley’s name and pretending to be a satanist on the internet. You keep doing that. I don’t think that’s as cool, hip, edgy or clever as you think it is.
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10:14 pm
Accept I’m not pretending to be Aleister Crowley. I am in fact, a very DIFFERENT Crowley.
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10:17 pm
Crowley dear, stop antagonizing the humans.
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10:48 pm
You’re one unfunny jerk pretending to be two unfunny jerks.
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11:10 pm
Ah, I see. You’re pretending to be two characters from a sacrilegious novel by that notorious, Alzheimer’s-afflicted atheist Terry Pratchett. Colour me surprised.
Should I also make two accounts called, say, Vimes and Vetinari and argue with myself on here as well. Would that be “cool”?
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12:30 am
Finally someone gets it.
It was co-written by Neil Gaiman too sweetie.
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12:32 am
And it only took three weeks. Just like I told you. Time to pay up dear.
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5:13 pm
More proof of the wicked nature of Danes is demonstrated by the fact that liberal, homogay, drug addicted, pedophile pop group Aqua (the song “Barbie Girl” is maybe the most notorious pro-pedophile song in history) comes from that god-forsaken country. Garbage like Aqua is considered “high culture” by Danish intellectuals (yes I realize “Danish intellectual” is an oxymoron).
Hot debate. What do you think?
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8:05 pm
And let’s not forget the satanic Danish rock band D.A.D, aka Disneyland after Dark (or, in Danish, Legoland after the supermarkets close).
Their biggest hit, Sleeping My Day Away, was an assault on the Protestant work ethic, demanding that teenagers spend their days in bed having sexually omnivorous orgies with sexually indiscriminate “pillow pets”.
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9:00 pm
Re:”Their biggest hit, Sleeping My Day Away, was an assault on the Protestant work ethic, demanding that teenagers spend their days in bed having sexually omnivorous orgies with sexually indiscriminate “pillow pets”.”
Very good point about how the Satanists and Socialists want to destroy the Protestant work ethic which once made Europe and North America so rich and prosperous. The Satanists and Liberals hope that by destroying the next generation’s work ethic through uncultured garbage like “Sleeping My Day Away”, they can cause the downfall of Christian civilization. One day, the white Christian youth are “sleeping their day away” and next thing you know, they are unemployed, collecting welfare, dropping out of school, having children out of wedlock, and spending their days drinking malt liquor, eating fried chicken and watermelon and smoking crack while worshipping Satan.
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10:52 pm
Quite. Although in Denmark it wouldn’t be so much malt liquor and fried chicken as shoplifted Carlsberg and Tuborg and pickled fish.
And smoking loads of hash smuggled out of Morocco up a Spaniard’s sin spout.
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9:25 am
You must be confused. In Denmark we actually take care of our poor, so shoplifting is not a big issue. And wow, you actually make jokes about Danish eating fish, which is like the healthiest food you could eat, whilst you stuff your mouth with microwave-dinners and Big Macs, being like the most obese people in the world. Many of you wouldn’t know what to do, if some raw food was put in front of you waiting to be cooked. But now i might be stooping too low, just hilarious how little self-insight you have as a culture.
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6:21 pm
I take it that you assume that I’m American.
Do all Danes jump to such erroneous conclusions?
Rødgrød med fløde, my Danish friend!
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9:26 am
American pop-culture is assaulting ALL forms of ethics..
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6:22 pm
None of the Christwire folk would disagree with you.
American pop culture is truly evil, with bands like Black Veal Brides, Falling on Reverse, The Fish and Dora the Explorer all teaching un-American values.
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9:34 am
Yes, DAD is part of the Danish Satanic conspiracy to make people sleep instead of going to work. All of us danes are in on this together, because we do not have problems like raising children, paying bills and LIVING A GOOD LIFE, JESUS, and yes I used his name, even though I am a satan worshipping, DAD (not satanic btw) listening nudist… In one point you guys are right, I think religion, not faith, but religion is insane….
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6:24 pm
So you are a satanist DAD fan? You’ve just proved my point.
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9:37 am
Uhhhm, Aqua is not considered “high culture” by Danish intellectuals Reverend intelligent. Actually they made all their success in the US of A, because that’s where pop rules
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7:07 pm
The threat from Legos is real. Today’s Legos that come in gray or with heads for the people seem like a sell out to me. They are a vacuum hazard, but for the most part seem more forgiving.
Old school Legos could wound with evil intent. One careless step causes serious injury where the victim reacts by bending over, leaving them very vulnerable to other more piercing advances from behind.
Lincoln Logs or Monkey’s in a Barrel seem less homosexually charged for the home. Of course as you know Stephenson, my favorite has always been the Close-N-Play phonograph record player.
Thank you for your kind wisdoms on the dangers of these dubious toys and working up such insightful graphics for our less talented readers.
Kind regards,
BB
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4:30 am
GODDAMMIT Blanche Bitch….Do you SPIT, SWALLOW or just take the loads accross the TITS and FACE??
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4:48 am
Spoken like someone who has never been laid in his miserable little life.
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8:25 pm
Billings, this is stupid, even for your level of stupidity.
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11:35 pm
When I was a little boy, kids at birthday parties would buy me Legos, which I vehemently rejected. What vile, little toys! And now they make Legos promoting liberal propaganda like Batman and Star Wars. Legos are directly responsible for the sexual promiscuity of the Danes, and account for the yellowish hue of the Danish nude. Lego plays off of the homosexual thrill and perversion of your innermost thoughts and manipulates it in disturbing ways. Another great article, Stephenson! You are an American hero!
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9:07 am
“Legos are directly responsible for the sexual promiscuity of the Danes, and account for the yellowish hue of the Danish nude”. Could you please back that up with, uhmmmm, anything??? If anything, the sexual promiscuity of the WORLD can give thanks to american pop culture and american porn. Where do you get this stuff. Legos are building blocks, designed to help the creativeness of children whilst not making it too hard (not to be misinterpreted). You people see the devil everywhere but in your own republican backyard.
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3:45 am
at the last image you said : said no to the danish sexual imperialism …. since when danemark is an empire ?
as for imperialism ) an evil one ) look at USA everyone is tired of USA imperialism
ambidestrous being able to use 2 hand to do stuff
99% of the world can do thats actually even if we have preominance on either left or right hand
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3:46 am
and I forgot something never thought that lego help creativity for children ? or is it Illegal in the Good Ole USA to be creative ( like Your God )
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8:30 am
“…. since when danemark is an empire ?”
Since it cruelly colonized Greenland about 200 years ago.
“ambidestrous being able to use 2 hand to do stuff”
Ambidextrous also means deceptive.
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9:13 am
“Since it cruelly colonized Greenland about 200 years ago.” Newsflash Jeb, we didn’t colonize Greenland, and certainly not cruelly. Unlike how you cruelly colonized America whilst exterminating it’s native inhabitants, destroying thousands of years of cultural development. Or like you are destroying every culture who are so unfortunate to be located on oil-land. Yes it’s the danish sexual imperialists who cruelly invades at will who is to be feared… Come on
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11:22 am
Greenland, Iceland, the Nicobar Islands. Why do you Danes have such a poor real estate track record? Is it the Legos?
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6:26 pm
And they’re so racist against the Greenlander refugees who end up on the streets of Copenhagen. It’s sad to see.
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10:45 pm
Lol now I know you are a Fake seriously
Greenland was an empty land ( frozen land to be exact ) when the dane conquered it (conquered is a Big word)
but USA with their “manifest destiny” a pathetic excuse to exterminate whole population does quite “well” on imperialism behaviour you even now want to conquer the middle east hopefully you won’t succeed
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4:20 am
Hey, Frenchie, that’s an early contender for the Dumbest Comment of the Week Award.
If Greenland was an “empty land” before the Danish invaded it, where did the Kalaallit come from?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kalaallit
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4:30 am
Excellent point exbrony. Left-wing. atheistic people like Millenium are so racist that they don’t consider the Kalaallit to be real humans. They only consider white Europeans to be real humans, so these racist, imperialistic scum, Greenland was an “empty” territory before the Danes “discovered” it.
As an American, a Christian compassionate conservative, and a humanitarian, I am shocked by this racist and imperialist attitude on the left. I hope these atheistic liberals change their ways soon and accept that all of us are God’s creatures, not just Northern Europeans.
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4:52 am
Quite. “Terra Nullius”, they call it. Disgusting.
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5:21 am
Normally I agree with you 100% Brother Billings. But Lego redeemed themselves of all ills when they released Lego Indiana Jones. Highlighting the American triumph over all foreign evil. Lego has now fully submitted to American truth.
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4:33 am
Go suck on your daughter’s little titties, Fucking perv!!
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4:37 am
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10:13 am
But seriously, this article, which has nothing to do with christianity whatsoever, isn’t for real is it? I mean, the diagram corrolating human anatomy with a LEGO block??? Even if it was human anatomy “disguised”, how is it gay??? How are Danish bodies strange? We are generally taller and averagely leaner than you, maybe that’s it!
And why is it, that a religion based on love and acceptance, is so full of hate. Anything unlike you is the Devil in disguise, or satanic or whatever. To me it seems like you just use that link to hate anything different. Please don’t invade Denmark now, there aren’t so many of us to begin with. We might be easy to bully considering our size, but please don’t bomb us for being satanists or having WMD’s or aiding Bin Laden in 9/11 or anything like that.
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11:02 am
OMG, I really thought you were that stupid, since it is not far from other sh.t that has come out of the Web… Boy that was a waste of energy, lol
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11:19 am
Apology accepted.
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11:08 am
Brother Billings you’ve done it again. Why just looking at that first photo of the Danes in Danish garb was enough to make anyone sick. But I have a confession to make. My parents (back in the 60s) didn’t know any better and lacked your insight and wisdom. They bought me Lego’s to play with and I did. I played with my Lego’s a lot as a child, and after reading this story all I can say is I am deeply troubled now. I just feel so violated!!!
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3:57 am
Danish garb?? Hell! You look like an original pilgrim!!
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4:10 am
Brother Bane has recently left us.
http://christwire.org/2012/03/johnathan-bane-dead-at-53/
There is no point insulting his gentle spirit now.
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2:52 pm
R.I.P
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11:17 am
Billings, you’ve definitely earned your journalistic credentials. A Pulitzer is in your near future.
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2:03 pm
And to think I allowed my kids to play with these as kids
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4:42 pm
I would like to see the stats, because I bet the rise of homosexuality and gay diseases in the 1980s and 90s has a correlation with Legos sales.
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4:52 pm
Stephenson, did you know about 3/5 Danes are infected with viral hepatitis? This is from their long winters and being shacked up in small numbers. These Legos have brainwashed them into thinking hidden homosexual tinkering is fun and games, but they don’t realize all the diseases this lifestyle spreads. So with the lack of sun and homosexuality, over the years Danes have developed that diseased yellow appearance. It’s fascinating from a scientific standpoint, but actually pretty sad from a sociological view.
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4:21 am
I am not employed or otherwise affiliated with Lego but I think you are barking up the wrong tree. Denmark is about to allow gay marriage and that obviously upsets the author of this article. Fine, but that really has nothing to do with Lego. Lego is a Danish brand but it derives by a large margin most of its revenue from sales abroad. One of its most successful markets is USA which from the line of comments seems to be well substantiated.
So from a statistical point of view, should you not suspect that if Lego is to blame for this issue, that other countries would be at this stage of accepting gay marriage earlier than Denmark?
If you want to argue using logical arguments, then do your research. If you just want to spread your opinion because this is what you believe, why not say it as it is. No need for all those “false facts”. As a final remark, Denmark is a democracy so there really needs to be just a majority in favor of the decision – no need to generalize across the population. Some are actually in agreement with your view that it is wrong. Not living in Denmark but having followed the news, there has been a nuanced debate on this rather than just the mudslinging seen from your side.
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4:24 am
You are wrong on several different levels.
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4:28 am
Please explain
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4:34 am
Just did, below.
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4:33 am
You say: “if Lego is to blame for this issue, that other countries would be at this stage of accepting gay marriage earlier than Denmark?”
Of course. Look at all the other countries that have more Lego than Denmark and have therefore embraced gay marriage earlier than Denmark: Spain, the Netherlands, Canada, Sweden, South Africa, Argentina, Belgium Norway, Portugal, Israel, Brazil and Mexico.
You say: “If you want to argue using logical arguments, then do your research.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself!
You say: “Denmark is a democracy so there really needs to be just a majority in favor of the decision.”
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. In a “democracy” such as Denmark’s, all that is required for legislation to pass is a majority of votes in parliament. The composition of a parliament does not necessarily reflect the will of the people.
What are you, like four years old?
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6:48 am
As you will see here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lego_timeline
The list of countries you mention has no correlation with the introduction of Lego products by country. As such, the number of years of Lego exposure is at least not a factor in deciding “gay friendliness”. They do not publish sales by country as far as I am aware.
I was cutting some slack on the democracy issue; you are correct that the majority of parliament can introduce new legislation as long as it is not in violation of the constitution, however, one should expect that these members represent a corresponding share of the electorate mind-bearing how members are elected in Denmark.
The article, if issued in the Middle East, would quickly have been labelled religious fundamentalism. Seems like the same concert – just another tune.
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10:28 am
No. Just no. You do NOT insult Legos. They are too amazing and have inspired so much creativity to build things among my friends, and also within myself. My best friend intends on building things for a living after high school and he STILL uses Legos to give him an idea as to how things should look at such, not so much colour wise, but I hope you get the idea, and he is 16 and straight as a perfectly shot arrow.
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1:09 am
Oh, so now you guys are going to rant on LEGOS!?!?!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?! IT’S A FUCKING CHILDREN’S TOY!!!!!!!!!!!!
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7:15 pm
Just a childrens toy ??? Did you not read the article ??? That’s like saying Spongebob Squarepants is just a cartoon. Don’t let homosexuals distract you with their flamboyant outfits and over-enthusiatic smiles, they are pawns of the devil.
Surely you do not want the rest of the world to be corrupted and end up in the same yellowish, homo-friendly boat as the Danish people ??? Sex is for procreation and unless my high school sex ed teacher is wrong… Sodomy does not result in babies.
Children have very malleable minds and we cannot allow the Danish people to corrupt future generations.
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4:02 am
You people are herendous. Not only are you hella racist, you are bagging on other religou such as Atheism for being racist. Seriously, get a grip on life. There is nothing wrong with being gay, but now everything but the bible is gay butt-sex. Reall? That is reDONKulous.
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4:15 am
1) Learn to spell the word “horrendous”.
2) Atheism is not a religion. Atheists do not believe in gods so they do not have a religion.
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10:31 am
The “Christian Right” and those that support the appauling drivel this site has vomitted up should be ashamed to call themselves Christian!.Calling yurself Christian dosent make it so,yur homophobic,hate filled fantasies would keep any good psychiatrist busy for yrs.Only in America could such large group of ignorant radical idiot fanatics prosper!.It wasnt thru hard work and Good values,no !misinformation at its mildest,barefaced lies ,hypocrisy,hatred,sex scandals!.There must be an awfull lot of lower than average fools to beleive the tripe you dish out.
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