Leo Gallagher Suffers Heart Attack, Hospitalized in Texas

Famed watermelon-smashing comedian Gallagher suffered a heart attack in Texas. Long known for tormenting our sin-skinned friends by wasting their favorite food as a joke, Gallagher has long been a favorite comedian of mine.

Leo Gallagher was scheduled to perform one of his always classic shows in Texas. Reports detail that Gallagher previously suffered a heart attack during a March 2011 performance in Minnesota.

Staff at Hat of Tracks, the club where Gallagher was to perform before his heart attack, noticed him acting tired and sitting down, and reportedly had him go in for a medical evaluation. An ambulance was called for transport.

Manager Marquado also reported,”He was feeling the onset of a heart attack.” “He just didn’t know it at the time.”

Gallagher arose to fame during the 80s, his blend of prop humor and pointed diatribes touching the hearts of the American people. As of late, liberals have been giving the great comedian much grief for his new acts which include warnings against homogay French people, lesbian named celebrity children and Obama, of who he warend, “You’re a latte, you’re half whole-milk…you could be a terrorist!”

This is all very true and funny.

We wish Gallagher the best and a speedy recovery.