Many of you have noticed that I have not been very active for almost a month. Many rumors have crept up over the last month about why I have been away. Let me assure you…I am still very much alive. “The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.”
I have in fact been on a grand missionary trip for christianity and christwire to that dark skinned continent of Africa. Many of you liberals claim that we christwire authors are racist and that we hate the more unfortunate amongst us that are cursed with darker skin. The truth is that I actually have many sin colored friends in life and that are on my facebooks, including many African friends. Many of them have invited me to visit with them and engage in a missionary position with them in their land over the years.
Unfortunately this latest missionary trip is coming to an unhappy end just like as my trip in October ended. It was just such a surprise trip that took me away from you several months ago. I had a great time and was very much enjoying it. I was saving thousands of souls in the name of Jesus and Christwire when our communist Muslim president decided to invade the African land. Obamas shock troops that he sent into Africa in October were sent to hunt down The Lords Resistance Army (LRA)which is lead by my personal friend Joseph Kony.
I first met Joe in the late 80’s on another trip to Africa. It was this trip that Christwire first set up our relationship with the Ivory Coast. But that is another story for another time. I was trying to reach a village in Uganda but was told that it was unsafe. I learned that I had to gain permission and protection of the local war lord. This man was soon to become my good personal friend that my family now knows simply as Joe.
Joe was impressed that I was a christian and wanted to spread my message to his people. Being a good christian he named his rag tag batch of freedom fighters “The Lords Resistance Army”. He fought against other leaders who were muslim and those that believed in the pagan witch craft of native Africa. I was impressed with his army and their discipline to God and Joseph. But what struck me most was how his army embraced the youth of the land. Everyday the proud African warriors in the LRA brought their many sons with them, and showed them how to defend their land. Call it what you will but at least these youngsters will never go to school in black eye shadow and white paint and complain about being bullied like little American Emosexuals do.
Once again Joseph Kony is under attack, this time it is not from the Godless muslim Barack Obama but some hippie that is using the wars in africa to make himself rich. This little hippie has created a movement called “Kony 2012”. Mostly young women are spreading the movie that he made and in reality is only making him more money, to spread his lies.
Other wise my trip has been a wonderful experience. I flew into the Ivory Coast as I always do but this time I bought boxes and boxes of the Christwire handbook for the folks, then I made my way to South Africa, where I spent more time with my old friend Desmond Tutu. Desmond is an important christian leader in South Africa and helped end aparthied. But I forgive him anyway.
Finally before I return to America, I am off to visit Joe. He has some diamonds that he wants me to take back to Atlanta with me. It seems that Africa has special diamonds known as “Cohn Flick” Diamonds that are known around the world but for some reason are hard to sell. But I have a Jewish friend back home that sells jewelry in his chain of stores.