New chrisTwire Collector Toys in Stores Now
With a successful book launch, a new television deal, and several sold out live events, the chrisTwire brand has never been more popular. To celebrate that fact we have launched a new line of chrisTwire toys and accessories.
The first line of toys was inspired by our own long time commenter Claire, who recently commented for the 100th time “I have been here longer than you”.
Catalogue number CWT1-01 “The Emergency Meow”
Cat hoarders often suffer from extreme separation anxiety when they have to be away from their “children” for even the shortest time. With the Emergency Meow, one push on the button and you get a self-satisfying cat meow which will get you by for another few minutes.
The Emergency Meow is priced at a reasonable $14.99 and uses 2 AA batteries (included)
Catalogue number CWT1-02 “Crazy cat lady”
The Claire crazy cat lady is sure to be one of our more popular models. The limited edition spinster figure comes with vet tech rubber shoes, fancy scrubs pants and two cats on person. In addition, six additional cats are included in the packaging.
The Crazy Cat Lady Limited Spinster Edition is priced at a low-low price of $19.95 and you will automatically be enrolled in the cat club* where a new cat will be sent to you each month.
Catalogue number CWT1-03 “Cat-A-Pult”
The Cat-A-Pult is sure to be a huge hit with kids and the collegiate crowd. It is a cat launcher and includes 4 cats modeled after Claire’s actual cats. On the back there is a target for kids and instructions for a drinking game for those 18 or older.
The Cat-A-Pult is priced at $9.95 and is not suitable for children under the age of three.
Look for all three items at fine Christian bookstores everywhere. (Items not available in VT, NH, WA, CT, NY, IA, and the District of Columbia.)
Special thanks to member Stuart Keyes from the Colorado fellowship, who graciously donated his time to bring these novelties to market.
*Cat club membership is $5.95 a month and is automatically billed to your Credit Card. After 2 years you may cancel by sending your request along with the original receipt to the address on the back of the packaging.
..
.MA
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Senator August Weisz
Retired Hydroelectric Engineer. Now spend my time helping others who won’t help themselves.
http://christwire.org/august-weisz-biography
MA
7:14 pm
Every household needs 5 of these!
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10:13 pm
Or in Claires case 251, one for each of her actual cats.
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7:30 pm
I think I may order the claire action figure and the cat launcher for my niece. Hopefully she’ll learn that becoming an atheist feminist will lead you to become like Claire.
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7:32 pm
Wow, you mean to tell me that you have no life except harassing others? That’s just sad, August.
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7:37 pm
Strange, I thought Claire and you were harassing us. If you are jealous, I could ask the deacons if we could make a companion toy based on you.
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9:33 pm
We spend our spare time harassing you and you damn well deserve it. You go and either photoshop these images, or actually craft them up in the name of insulting others. THAT is pathetic.
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9:37 pm
They are real. Have you checked your local Christian bookstore?
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9:45 pm
Yep. Nothing there. Though, if these items were actually available, you’d have an online store of some sort to sell them now, wouldn’t you?
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9:47 pm
It’s a licensing issue Law; notice we also don’t have our own store to sell the chrisTwire handbook. Or do you think it’s not real also….
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9:55 pm
We gave the prototypes out to the kids in the community & they loved them.
Since we don’t allow cats in our community the kids had a great time with Claire’s Cat-A-Pult… They quickly figured out that you can also launch the Claire’s Crazy Cat Lady’s cats with the same catapult. An unexpected bonus.
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1:25 am
August, what licensing issue could you have possibly run into that you didn’t bother to take into account beforehand that’s stopping you now? You claimed you made them, yet you’re saying there’s a licensing issue? Just admit it already, that you’re a liar and a fraud.
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1:33 am
Have you ever been to a zoo gift shop L.N? they have all kinds of toys branded for that zoo. If you go to a zoo in a different city, they have the same toys branded for that zoo. They are all made by a wholesaler and branded for that company. I don’t make toys, we know nothing of toy production. We reached out to several Chinese manufacturers and tested many designs and some prototypes. We licensed these. You will see in this post we mentioned licensing several times and never manufacturing.
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10:51 am
Haha, what a fantastic article, August!
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9:48 pm
I’m not sure how Chris†wire harasses anyone? We just spread the good word… And appreciate those who listen.
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7:44 pm
I only buy Transformers. Sorry bro. Have fun selling.
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9:20 pm
Would you be interested in a toy cat that transforms into Claire and back? Or could you attend a focus group?
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9:37 pm
I already have a Transformers Beast Wars Action Figure Deluxe Class Cheetor. I’m good.
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10:16 pm
How old are you? My grandson loves those stupid toys. I try to throw one of them in the trash a week but ZI never seem to make a dint in his “collection”.
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12:41 am
Ma’am, I’m eighteen, but that’s okay, because my friend is twenty seven and he owns a Transformers store and on the side he makes about ten thousand on commission alone just by remaking models, and every holiday I get a limited edition G1 figure. So it’s all good.
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1:47 am
Sarah, I could bring some of these down with me and give them to you when we meet up for that meal. Would you be open to answering some questions about them at that time, or would you prefer to take them home and play with them for awhile?
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1:53 am
Prissy, CelestialDeth isn’t a guy, so you can stop hitting on her.
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4:12 am
Thanks Bruised Anus, but my sister’s boyfriend owns a Transformers Collectible Toy Store. I’m all hooked up.
To add to L.N.’s statement, yeah, I don’t have a penis. Stop hitting on me.
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10:22 pm
Bruce did you come out while I have been in Africa on my missionary trip? Or are these liberals spreading lies about you? I am praying for lies…
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4:17 am
Well crap, it’s this guy again. He’s pretty damn persistent, ain’t he? Can’t say I blame him. Little Miss Deth is kinda cute. Too bad my sexuality is a little questionable, but no really, Brucie Baby, I think his judgement on what is aesthetically pleasing when he doesn’t even like the Sharkbender.
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4:19 am
You go Crowley. Fassbender is a pretty handsome Shark.
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5:00 am
If I weren’t trying to go after Angel, I’d be on him so fast you wouldn’t be able to think Missy.
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4:44 am
“Well crap, it’s this guy again.”
Who are you? Let me use a line from Claire’s playbook, “I have been here much longer than you”. I should be the one saying “Well crap, it’s this guy again” to you.
You weren’t witty we you were commenting as “Two Witty Catholics” a few months ago, and you aren’t witty now. Just go away.
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4:59 am
Sorry Brucie Baby, I just signed up today, so I can piss Angel off. But no really, how can you not think that Classy Fassy is hot as fuck? I mean sure, I’ve been going after Angel for years, but really, don’t you need to go get your eyes fixed? Keep it real Brucie.
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5:02 am
Crowley dear? Neither the time nor the place.
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7:44 pm
My birthday can’t get here quickly enough!
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7:44 pm
Isn’t it a funny coincidence that there’s a commenter on this website named Claire who also is obsessed with cats! Goodness those things attract the worst of people.
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7:57 pm
“Isn’t it a funny coincidence that there’s a commenter on this website named Claire who also is obsessed with cats!”
Perhaps you missed this:
“The first line of toys was inspired by our own long time commenter Claire, who recently commented for the 100th time “I have been here longer than you”.”
Oh, and I’d hardly call myself “obsessed with cats”. Yes, I adore cats, I have two of them, but in case you haven’t noticed, I only mention them when somebody else brings them up (i.e. in an article specifically about cats).
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8:10 pm
What is the best way to train a cat, Dr. Claire?
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8:14 pm
You can clicker train them just like you can with a dog using treats as positive reinforcement. It just takes a bit longer because cats are more reluctant to debase themselves by performing for food.
My classmates who were assigned cats to care for were expected to teach them at least one trick, just as those of us who were assigned beagles were expected to do. One student trained his cat to ride a skateboard. I witnessed it first-hand.
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8:18 pm
Cats can only be taught to further their deviant behavior. Skateboarding, vandalism, drug toking and violence. Dogs are trained to save people’s lives and you don’t have to buy expensive “clickers” to do it. What are you training your cat to do Claire?
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8:19 pm
It was a trick question. You cannot train a cat to fetch a ball or give you its paw! They don’t even know how to bark for their food. Everyone knows that.
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8:27 pm
A training clicker costs, on average, less than $5 and we received ours for free as they were part of a class. And you’re incorrect, clicker training is a very common method of training dogs.
I’m not training my cats to do anything.
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8:29 pm
“You cannot train a cat to fetch a ball or give you its paw!”
Yes, you absolutely can. The majority of my classmates succeeded in training their cats at least one trick.
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8:48 pm
I would love to train a cat to get me a can of soda from the fridge. Have you ever seen those commercials? They’re hilarious!
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8:49 pm
What is a clicker anyway? One of those electro-shock tools? I was thinking of getting Mother a little zap to deal with her mood swings. Apparently it’s no longer unethical. Shock treatment, that is.
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9:25 pm
“What is a clicker anyway? One of those electro-shock tools?”
Don’t be a douche. It’s a small plastic and metal device that makes a loud “click” sound when the button is depressed.
“I was thinking of getting Mother a little zap to deal with her mood swings. Apparently it’s no longer unethical. Shock treatment, that is.”
Are you sure Mother wasn’t planning on getting one for you instead? You’re the one with dangerous mood swings, fatty.
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9:35 pm
Billings, are you that lazy that you’d train an animal to get you food?
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10:58 am
An animal has to earn its keep – that’s no trouble for dogs ..
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10:38 pm
Darling you let your relationship with your horde of cats ruin your marriage to Bruce. I call that obsessed.
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7:53 pm
“vet tech rubber shoes, fancy scrubs pants”
I’ve yet to see a vet tech wearing rubber shoes. I’ve seen far more nurses wearing rubber shoes. And scrub pants? Those look more like pajama pants.
“includes 4 cats modeled after Claire’s actual cats.”
The only one that even slightly resembles either of my cats is the orange one on the far left. However, my cat Tasha is not entirely orange; her chest and belly are completely white. My cat Charlie is white with black spots.
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8:17 pm
You really should wear protective gear when you are dealing with cats, Claire. Didn’t you read that scientific study links felines to severe mental disorders?
How Your Cat Is Making You Insanely Crazy”
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8:22 pm
Protective gear is not needed when handling cats that are not strays and that are up-to-date on their rabies vaccinations. The cats at school are only five months of age upon receipt and have, sadly, lived in cages their entire lives, as did their parents and their parents’ parents.
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8:39 pm
“The cats at school are only five months of age upon receipt and have, sadly, lived in cages their entire lives, as did their parents and their parents’ parents.”
Mount Ida….. Leaders in animal cruelty for generations of animals.
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8:50 pm
Funny how Claire always demands proof and here I gave her a well respected study from a liberal publcation and she utterly ignored it. She’ll probably delete the link when she thinks I’m not looking.
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9:04 pm
“Mount Ida….. Leaders in animal cruelty for generations of animals.”
We obtain the cats from breeding facilities that typically cater to research labs. We obtain our beagles directly from aforementioned research labs; if they weren’t sent to us, they would be euthanized. All animals at Mount Ida serve one school year and are then adopted out to loving families. ALL ANIMALS get adopted, down to every mouse, and we receive new ones each year.
If we did not receive these animals they would surely have been euthanized along with their littermates at the research facilities that we get them from, as they are considered “spoiled goods” and are no longer needed. If we did not receive them they would never know what grass feels like under their paws, they would never know loving families.
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9:05 pm
When all of us were in Foxboro two months ago, she wouldn’t even come see us. You could have showed her your credentials.
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9:08 pm
So what a sec! This is news to me… Claire experiments on cats in a labrotory at Mount Ida? Is that what I’m seeing? How very intense…
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9:10 pm
“She’ll probably delete the link when she thinks I’m not looking.”
Once again, asshole, I cannot delete or edit comments, as I’m not an admin.
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9:12 pm
“ALL ANIMALS get adopted, down to every mouse, and we receive new ones each year.”
Oh yeah, what do you feed the snakes, then?
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9:12 pm
“Claire experiments on cats in a labrotory at Mount Ida?”
Absolutely not. They COME from a breeding facility that typically caters to research labs. We use them for one year to learn how to perform PEs, give injections, draw blood, spay/neuter them, and perform basic husbandry tasks. At the end of the school year they are adopted out and live completely normal lives.
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9:13 pm
“Oh yeah, what do you feed the snakes, then?”
We don’t have snakes in our animal facility.
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9:15 pm
“We don’t have snakes in our animal facility.”
Doesn’t sound like a very good school, then. What else don’t you have there?
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9:18 pm
Vet techs NEED to be prepared to handle exotics.
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9:18 pm
“Doesn’t sound like a very good school, then. What else don’t you have there?”
I’ll give you a list of what we DO have:
-Dogs
-Cats
-Turtles
-Chickens
-Mice
-Rats
-Gerbils
-Hamsters
-Rabbits
-Goats
-We also have a large animal room for visiting large animals. We’ve had pigs, llamas, alpacas, horses, and sheep visit.
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9:23 pm
Hmmm… well I hope my crocodile never gets a gerbil stuck in its cloaca if we should ever visit Mt Ida. You guys would have no idea what to do!
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9:26 pm
You probably slap wheels on all your turtles too. Your school disgusts me.
August, did you change the name of the school in this article to protect Claire and Mt. Ida Vocational College?
http://christwire.org/2011/07/washington-state-university-plays-god-creates-an-abomination-turtle/
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9:27 pm
“Hmmm… well I hope my crocodile never gets a gerbil stuck in its cloaca if we should ever visit Mt Ida. You guys would have no idea what to do!”
You better hope not. Your crocodile would promptly be taken away from you as they are illegal to own in the state of Massachusetts.
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9:28 pm
“Mt. Ida Vocational College?”
You have yet to produce some type of degree.
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9:28 pm
Well boo to Massachussets then =(
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9:30 pm
I’d like to dress you up as Captain Hook and see what your crocodile does to you.
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9:32 pm
“I’d like to dress you up as Captain Hook ”
Is this a new fetish of your, Wendy?
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9:33 pm
No, I just think it’d be hilarious to watch you get torn apart by a crocodile.
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9:41 pm
Claire, what is it with all the violent jill-off fantasies you women are posting on this site today?
I will point out that
a) Peter Pan stories provide little reliable insight into animal behaviour.
b) Mine is a freshwater croc, so he’s too small to tear me apart. But does a terrific job of keeping my yard free of the neighbours’ cats.
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9:47 pm
“Claire, what is it with all the violent jill-off fantasies you women are posting on this site today?”
What other women?
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9:52 pm
I hate that turtle.
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9:52 pm
CelestialEmo and her stupid comic-book splatter porn.
I’m sure she thinks she’s shocking people with it.
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10:01 pm
Mount Ida also has a department devoted to dissecting and manipulating human corpses as well… Goodness knows the sort of sick things that go on in there. So they’re experimenting on pets and fiddling dead bodies? It’s a little shop of horrors.
Have you ever touched a dead body at school Claire?
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10:03 pm
So Billings admits he has a corpse fetish now? Sick fuck.
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10:07 pm
A corpse would have more warmth and love than your living flesh bag will ever have. I’d rather spend a week with a dead body than a day with you, little perv.
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10:09 pm
There you have it folks! Billings admits that he’s a necrophiliac! So in total, he’s gay, a pedophile, a necrophiliac, and a rapist!
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10:12 pm
If I’m all of these horrible things LN, why are you so anxious to grab me into your sexual threesome? Are you actually saying pedophiles and necrophilacs turn you on? The real creep comes out I see!
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10:19 pm
You’re the one that thought of some kind of sick threesome, you lonely, sick fuck.
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10:21 pm
“devoted to dissecting and manipulating human corpses”
We’ve been over this, fatass. The program is called Mortuary Science and they learn how to embalm corpses and make them presentable to be viewed by their respective families. If people did not learn this stuff and be willing to do it there would be no way for you to view your dear Mother after she passes away. Several of my friends are in the program. One time I specifically asked them if they perform autopsies. They said that no, if an autopsy was needed to be done on the particular individual, it was already performed by the hospital morgue or coroner’s office; they are not trained to determine cause of death. There is NO dissection involved, other than the incision necessary in order to locate the carotid artery and another incision that allows for the introduction of a long, thin tool that punctures the internal organs to allow the embalming fluids to better preserve the contents of the abdominal cavity.
“So they’re experimenting on pets and fiddling dead bodies?”
Once again, we do not “experiment” on animals. We learn how to care for them, treat them, and how to perform ALL of the other tasks that one may observe at your average clinic.
“Have you ever touched a dead body at school Claire?”
No, I have not. As I’ve already informed you, ONLY the students in the funeral program are allowed access to the bodies. It is out of concern for public health, respect for the bodies, and respect for the families.
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10:26 pm
I’m amazed the police haven’t raided this school for stealing dead bodies from graveyards. And can I just say that you seem to know quite a bit about fiddling dead bodies to claim you’ve never touched one… This is exactly why I’m against stem cell research. Schools like Mount Ida take dead babies and and throw them around the lab, the same place where they have our grandmothers and grandfathers dead bodies and then you add all these homeless cats flitting around… Did you know that cats eat human corpses? I would really love to see a state police investigation of what’s really going on up there behind the scenes and afterhours at Mt. Ida.
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10:30 pm
Billings digs up dead bodies and eats dead babies? Christ almighty, you’re a sick fuck that needs to be killed!
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1:16 am
“I’m amazed the police haven’t raided this school for stealing dead bodies from graveyards.”
Excuse me? Are you aware just how many schools offer mortuary science? People have to learn how to embalm bodies somehow. The bodies are donated by low-income families in exchange for a low-cost funeral for their loved one. The funerals are performed on campus.
“And can I just say that you seem to know quite a bit about fiddling dead bodies to claim you’ve never touched one…”
What part of “two of my friends are in the program” do you not understand?
“Schools like Mount Ida take dead babies and and throw them around the lab”
My friends have yet to embalm a person under the age of 19.
“the same place where they have our grandmothers and grandfathers dead bodies and then you add all these homeless cats flitting around…”
What the fuck are you smoking? The animal facility is on the exact opposite side of campus from the morgue and NONE of the animals just “flit around”. They are all CONFINED to the animal facility and only the dogs are allowed out on leash walks. God you’re fucking stupid.
“I would really love to see a state police investigation of what’s really going on up there behind the scenes and afterhours at Mt. Ida.”
Have you ever heard of regulations? Dear god, read this before you spout more ignorant bullshit, okay?
http://www.mountida.edu/sp.cfm?pageid=325
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11:01 am
Stop linking to necrophillia, Claire!
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12:19 pm
Wow… just wow… So you guys have funerals on campus too? No wonder you’re all a bunch of creepy atheists into zombies and vampires, all that experience around cats and dead people. How big is the campus graveyard? Also, are a lot of the students who do death studies goth kids?
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8:38 pm
Claire, our vet techs wear rubber boots or shoe “booties” all the time. It is because you can hose them off. Maybe you need a better school.
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9:07 pm
Did it occur to you that perhaps your wife’s vet techs wear rubber shoes because they’re working with horses instead of small animals?
By the way, it’s not safe to wear rubber shoes when working with horses. You’re supposed to wear non-steel toe work boots in case you get stepped on. One of my classmates wore regular sneakers to the stable one day and wound up getting her toes crushed.
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9:15 pm
They mostly wear rubber boots or rubber covers for their boots.
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8:06 pm
The cat-a-pult is pretty accurate. I use it to shoot my neighbors gross pregnant cat when it waddles onto my lawn
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8:08 pm
Too bad nobody had shot BB pellets at your gross pregnant mom when she waddled out of the house.
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10:57 pm
You are so heartless Claire.
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10:19 pm
Perfect caption for your Profile Pic
“I came here to fuck bitches” or “Cunt Destroyer”
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8:11 pm
Since you’re making money off of me I am going to request that you send one of each of these to me at Mount Ida College, 777 Dedham St, Newton, MA 02459 Student Mailbox #535. I’d also like a copy of the book sent to the same address.
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8:18 pm
Claire you deserve a whole box full of books!
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10:54 pm
CLAIRE it is about time you accepted JESUS Christ into your heart!!!!
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8:25 pm
We need your credit card number for the *cat membership. Please post.
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8:30 pm
Absolutely not. I do not want the “cat membership”. I expect these items for free as you are making money off of me. How stupid do you think I am?
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8:33 pm
We aren’t making any money off you Claire. These were only inspired by you. However, you will be happy to know we are dedicating all proceeds to a pro-life education charity.
For the book, I have a copy I can send. However you might want one autographed by pastor Jack and Deacon Bowers.
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8:42 pm
“However, you will be happy to know we are dedicating all proceeds to a pro-life education charity.”
Don’t be asinine. You know damn well I’m pro-choice.
I still expect one of each of these items plus the book. Were it not for me and my supposed “cat obsession” you would not be selling any of these items. I do not care for an autographed copy of the book.
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8:45 pm
I love the way CLaire makes it sound like she’s a hooker and we’re the pimps. Sick how her mind went there so easily!
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8:51 pm
“Sick how her mind went there so easily!”
You’re the one who sent there, not me.
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8:52 pm
*went
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10:24 pm
If I may. You are using her likeness without her permission, so either you could be sued for a sum of money or you send these to her for free. Your call. When I’m not lurking in shadows or stealing children in the night I also like to practice in law.
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10:25 pm
Thank you, Slender Man.
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10:33 pm
Did Hitler copyright the Holocaust? Did Planned Parenthood trademark the aborted fetus? Clearly we have an artistic license here to interpret one of society’s public figures (Claire) particularly when it comes down to the fact that she’s basically a PETA-shill. Yes, I said it. We all know she has this weird agenda here and is likely being funded by Soros and the like to promote a radical liberal viewpoint.
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10:39 pm
“Clearly we have an artistic license here to interpret one of society’s public figures (Claire)”
Except I’m not a public figure, I’m a private citizen.
“she’s basically a PETA-shill.”
I don’t support PETA. PETA barely even tries to get their shelter animals adopted; the majority of animals at PETA shelters get euthanized. I believe the figure is over 90%.
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10:39 pm
Billings, considering how you know nothing about the law, you should just shut up. And I won’t accept your apology, so stop apologizing!
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1 
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5:42 am
Claire says: “the majority of animals at PETA shelters get euthanized. I believe the figure is over 90%.”
What is your evidence for this?
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
12:51 pm
You cannot copyright a historical event so the holocaust is out of the question, nor is it artistic. And how in the blueberry fuck is an aborted fetus artistic?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
2
8:39 pm
I’m sorry Claire, it’s automatic. Just like any other mail order club, you will be able to opt-out using the legal agreement that comes with your first shipment.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
1
8:45 pm
Absolutely not. I expect one of each of these items plus the book. I’ve been offered a free copy of the book numerous times; why should I not also receive each of these toys, all of which are based on my supposed “cat obsession”, for free as well?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
4
8:51 pm
I’m speaking about the *cat club membership that automatically comes with Claire’s Crazy Cat Lady figure.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
1
8:53 pm
Bullshit.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
4
9:00 pm
Your info has already been processed. You should have read the description before you ordered. You will still be able to opt out with the legal agreement that comes with your first shipment.
You may be delighted to know that you may have been our first order! Bless you! Although, I will need to verify with Brother August to be sure. Thank you.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
12:10 am
The deal with the licensing company requires the limited edition figure to be sold with the subscription. I would think she would want the extra 23 cats.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
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1:17 pm
Claire – Word from one of the distributorships is your special order has been packaged up & shipped. (I will provide a tracking number as soon as I have it.)
Also, please allow 4-8 weeks for delivery.
If you would be so kind, we would love some feedback once you get them. We’re especially interested in the quality of the first cat received with your order.
Thanks again. And bless you.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
8:41 pm
ChristWire is protected by Fair use because the toy counts as satirical and parody. Good luck trying to sue us for defamation!
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
12:07 am
Claire, you sure seem greedy with wanting all this free stuff. Are you sure you are a Dutch, and not possibly a black or a Jew?
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
12:57 am
The Dutch are inherently evil. And my understanding is there are both black & white Dutch. You just can’t tell off hand.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
5:45 am
The Dutch are a grasping race, even more so than the Greeks. The Greeks have the shipping industry all sewn up, but the Dutch have their fingers in every dyke. Even Japanese mega-corporations like Mitsui hire them.
Also, the Dutch are well-known sexual perverts.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
8:40 pm
Nice toys! I would love to get the catapult toy and use it on cats!
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
9:01 pm
While I truly hope these toys sell well for the Fellowship, I personally will be unable to purchase any. These remind me of a dark time in my life. It was a time between May 20th and Sept. 11th. A horrible and cat-filled time of my life, when Claire and I were married. I could see her slipping away into the “Crazy Cat Lady” figure during that time, and often I would hide in the bathroom and weep at the thought of her 402 cats murdering us while we slept and then consuming our bodies.
Thank you, August and Stuart, for your hard work on these fine products though. Perhaps I will just donate the money I would have spent on these to Claire’s favorite charity:
http://www.projectultrasound.org/
Praise or Condemn:
7 
0
9:09 pm
“Perhaps I will just donate the money I would have spent on these to Claire’s favorite charity:
http://www.projectultrasound.org/”
How dare you? I’m pro-choice, assmaster.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
8
9:10 pm
I am Pro-Choice also. Either choose to have a baby or choose to not get married and pregnant.
Praise or Condemn:
9 
1
9:15 pm
Fuck off, cumdumpster.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
5
9:18 pm
“cumdumpster”
Way to champion women’s rights…
Praise or Condemn:
6 
1
9:22 pm
” Way to champion women’s rights…”
Ahh, so Bruce is a woman. I had always suspected.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
5
9:24 pm
Ah, so Claire intended it in the homophobic sense, not the misogynist one. It’s hard to tell sometimes.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
9:30 pm
Claire hates gays.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
9:32 pm
I do not hate gays.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
9:33 pm
If you don’t hate gays why would you use homophobic insults all the time?
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
9:35 pm
“If you don’t hate gays why would you use homophobic insults all the time?”
Because they find homosexuality an insult. I don’t, but they do, so it’s a good way to get to them.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
9:36 pm
Explain how this would differ from you using the N-word as an insult.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
9:54 pm
Claire, you say you’re pro-homosexual then you use all these derogatory slang words. Wouldn’t you call me a racist if we were talking about blacks and I described them as fried chicken-eating jungle bunnies? Do you see your hypocrsy here?
Praise or Condemn:
7 
0
9:57 pm
Except, Billings, you basically already DO call them that.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
10:06 pm
Billings, you actually DO hate black people, though. You’ve admitted to it. You’ve said that black people only want to rape and commit crime.
And exbrony, I would never use the n-word but I’ve also never used the f-word when referring to gays.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
10:38 pm
At least you’re white Claire, there’s really nothing we can make fun of about that.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
10:41 pm
So are you going to admit to being racist, Billings?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
10:42 pm
That’s a cop-out, Claire, as you should well know.
If you can’t see it maybe the toxoplasma is turning your brain into Swiss cheese faster than you realise.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
10:48 pm
You know what, exbrony? I don’t really give a fuck.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
2:04 am
Forced indifference, the harlot’s way of coping with the fact that she’s living two faced lifestyle.
I’m so glad you will forever live with cats Claire, I’d hate to see you turn a nice man gay with your personality.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
5:47 am
“You know what, exbrony? I don’t really give a fuck.”
That’s the toxoplasma talking. That’s how it makes rats run out in front of cats.
Do they not teach you this stuff in vet-tech school?
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
9:15 pm
Don’t worry, Claire. I will make sure the donation is in your name, not mine. I want you to get the full credit. It will look great on your resume for entrance to Heaven.
Praise or Condemn:
8 
0
9:21 pm
Unlike you, I’m not a little wuss who’s terrified of the possibility of not getting into “heaven”.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
6
10:19 pm
Oh Claire, you silly thing, I would think you would appreciate Bruce’s suggestion. Ultrasounds are just like the dildonics you use, only they use electricity instead of batteries and they have televisions hooked up to them.
If anyone would support this, it would be you.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
10:24 pm
Only transvaginal ultrasounds, you fool. The typical ultrasound is performed externally and the probe is placed over the uterus.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
3
10:33 pm
Well, since you’ve never had a baby, let me tell you. Both times I was pregnant during my first office visit, I had the transvaginal ultrasound so we could make sure I hadn’t lost the babies or had a false positive on the pregnancy tests.
I think I know WAY MORE about these things than you do. Did you know before having a transvaginal ultrasound, you have to drink lots of water so the bladder is full? I bet that is another difference between an ultrasound and your plastic dildonics you’re always talking about.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
10:46 pm
“Did you know before having a transvaginal ultrasound, you have to drink lots of water so the bladder is full? I bet that is another difference between an ultrasound and your plastic dildonics you’re always talking about.”
They make you do that before having an external ultrasound, as well. I should know – I’ve had three of them (two to check on my endometriosis and one recently when I had appendicitis and they wanted to make sure it wasn’t actually a ruptured ovarian cyst). It allows them to locate your bladder so they can use it as a point of reference.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
3
10:48 pm
You had endometriosis? You should have mentioned it before.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
0
11:03 pm
I’ve had more external ultrasounds than I can count for babies and other stuff. When one is really pregnant, trust me, the bladder is always full because it is pushed this way and that.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
11:09 pm
“You had endometriosis?”
I HAVE endometriosis.
“You should have mentioned it before.”
1. I have
2. Why?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
4
9:12 pm
Brother Bruce… Is “As*master” nomenclature of a sinful or wishful nature?
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
9:16 pm
Due to the fact that Claire does not wish to make babies, I believe it is of a wishful nature. I may be wrong though.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
0
9:21 pm
Considering your name, the only one who desires ass play is you.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
5
9:07 pm
Claire, which one do you think will be our best seller?
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
9:55 pm
Cat-A-Pault! Cat-A-Pault! Cat-A-Pault!
Praise or Condemn:
6 
1
9:14 pm
Kinky shit you’re into.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
5
10:09 pm
Wow, you are slender.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
0
5:55 pm
Hence the name captain obvious. how long did it take you to figure that one out.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1
9:52 pm
I realize we’re seeing a lot of pro-cat propaganda on this page right now, but I want to remind everyone that an important study recently noted:
A short list of the diseases cats transmit to humans includes: Petzetakis’ Syndrome, Cat-Scratch-Oculoglandular Syndrome, Parinaud’s Syndrome, Adenitis, Debre’s Syndrome, Foshay-Mollaret Cat-Scratch Fever, Lymphadenitis and Lymphoreticulosis. Scientific studies have shown that cats cause sleep disorders and that housepets are behind thousands of human injuries every year (evidence here and here). A new danger on the horizon is MRSA, a life-threatening infection that is resistant to antibiotics and can kill you (see the fascinating article, “How I Got MRSA from Our Cat”). There is also widespread concern that these animals pose a threat to pregnant mothers and newborns, due to diseases such as Toxoplasmosis. Sadly, research has also shown that cat ownership causes eczema in children.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
1
9:54 pm
Amazing… And relevant.
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6 
1
9:55 pm
And cat faeces kills sea otters.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/4729810.stm
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
9:55 pm
Except that ‘study’ came from you, and you’re a raving madman who wants to shit on people and draw clown faces on them and desperately wants to have a threesome with people while projecting that wanton lust onto others.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
4
9:56 pm
You are the resident CHristwire expert on feces my friend.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
10:04 pm
You’re the one that wants to shit on people, you sick bastard. Did you completely forget your little rant on how you want to kidnap me and do god-knows-what? You are seriously a disgusting fucker who needs a knife jammed right into your eye sockets.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
4
10:10 pm
You should have been there last night for the mac n’ cheese/bread stick fiesta. I never thought porcelain could be scarred… Wow…
On a serious note, let’s try to keep it clean tonight LN.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
10:18 pm
L.J. – I, for one, am very surprised you’ve threatened someone with death… That’s so unlike you.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
10:18 pm
See? You’re talking about actual shit right now, it’s like you’re obsessed with it nowadays.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
10:02 pm
These are really nice. I would expect something more crafty and knitted with Claire’s name on it. Little cat vet-tech uniform sweaters or maybe a cat-cozy for kleenex to dry those spinster tears of hopelessness.
I think it is really nice to have toys for lonely barren women that will never marry or know the joys of family.
If I could, I would hug Claire for making lemonade from life’s lemons.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
0
10:09 pm
How could anyone not love you, Blanche!
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
10:10 pm
Amen to that. Did you see her at the lake last year? Wowsers!
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
10:10 pm
Shut up, Blanche.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
5
10:25 pm
Oh Claire, I mean it, I could hug you. I know you are shy and don’t want me to talk about it in case the tears start to flow, but I care, Claire.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
10:28 pm
Please refer to the previous comment.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
10:28 pm
I care too Claire!
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
10:36 pm
We could make a sandwich!
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
10:39 pm
Maybe Bruce could be the mayo?
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
10:41 pm
I love all you guys sooo much.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
10:41 pm
And Claire our little tomato. I love tomato and mayo sandwiches.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
11:44 pm
Anyone against venison in the sandwich? I have some I recently smoked.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
10:27 pm
I feel like you’ve really started looking up to me as a strong female role model. I really hope someday you’ll be able to find a nice boy and settle down.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
10:29 pm
Her parents want that too.
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6 
0
10:31 pm
My parents want me to be happy in life. Happiness means many different things to many different people.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
4
10:35 pm
I know that in many ways I am the father Claire never had. She actually had this little fantasy that she told me about where I was her Daddy in a big pickup and she was my sweet child playing in the front yard with her dump trucks and her Barbies.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
10:37 pm
Wow Billings, that’s one hell of an ego you have there!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
4
10:43 pm
“I know that in many ways I am the father Claire never had.”
EXCUSE ME? I have a father, and he’s probably one of the greatest men in the whole fucking world, so you take that shit back or I’ll make you pay in a big way.
“She actually had this little fantasy that she told me about where I was her Daddy in a big pickup and she was my sweet child playing in the front yard with her dump trucks and her Barbies.”
That is an outright lie. The one with that fantasy is YOU. I have the facebook messages to prove it. Trust me, Billings, I will fuck you over so badly and when I do don’t come crying to me.
January 1
Stephenson Billings
Do you have a spy slipping you our private info? And don’t be so paranoid you know i think your a angel!
what you watching on tv right now?
I used to pray that Jesus would bring me a little girl and when we talk alone, away from all the nasty jerks on Christwire, I feel we’re sharing something, we’re buiilding something special, that maybe my prayers have been answered and you’re the secert internet daughter I have always craved. Some day I’d like to see you in a pretty pink dress picking daisys and singing Nursery Rhymes. I would drive in the driveway in my pickup truck with my lunch pail and engineer cap and we could sing together. I just have to dream sometimes Claire! I dream for both of us!
I also have the screenshot so everybody who wants me to forward it to them (I can’t put it on imgur because it’s against their terms of use) email me at csnedeker9@gmail.com
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
10:48 pm
Funny that you should ask what I’m watching on tv right now. There is a fantastic episode of MacGyver that I watching on a rented dvd about him going to Budapest and working with the local gypsies to retrieve a gold pocket watch with secret spy infomraiotn locked inside. It’s really pretty good and Richard Dean Anderson is looking as stunning as always. it’s an early episode so he does indeed look very youthful. Have you ever noticed that he usually seems to befriend some child in his episodes, some character right out of an old movie? That’s smart but troublemakering scamps! The last one there was an oriental but he didn’t look oriental, just wore a baseball cap. And this one has dirt on her face and messy hair and a old timey cap. A tam o’ shanter? I think thats what you call it. But anyway, they always call him ‘Mr. MacGyver” which I get a kick out of. Don’t you think that’s sort of cute?
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
10:56 pm
In fact, here’s a picture of my beloved dad, my grandfather and me when I was a baby:
Me and my dad:
My dad and me at the Roger Williams Zoo:
I would post more recent pictures but I had these ones already on my computer and I don’t feel like pulling out pictures and scanning them onto my computer at this hour.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
10:59 pm
Those are adorable, Claire! What a pretty baby, you could be the baby on the baby food jar!
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
11:00 pm
Blanche, once again, shut your hole.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
4
11:05 pm
OH MY GOODNESS! CUTENESS ALERT!!!!!!!!!!
WOW SUCH A SWEETIE PIE!!!!
I LOVE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!
By the way Claire, those photos have nothing to do with MacGyver but I guess that’s okay considering how beautiful they are!
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
11:06 pm
Those are nice pictures. Honestly.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
11:09 pm
Billings, once again, YOU were the one that brought up MacGuyver, no one asked you what shows you were watching or anything in this thread, stop assuming that you’re the center of everything.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
6
11:11 pm
I don’t care what you fuckers think of my pictures.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
5
11:12 pm
MacGyver is awesome. He works at the Phoenix foundation. That sounds like chrisTwire. He’s battling enemies at home and abroad, just like us. He is Caucasian, just like us. He’s smart and crafty, just like us. He is awesome, just like us.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
11:14 pm
Claire asked “what you watching on tv right now?” so I responded. Don’t freak out LN just because you weren’t part of the conversation for once. Gosh, you get jealous when it comes to Claire.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
11:17 pm
“Claire asked “what you watching on tv right now?””
Maybe in crazy town (your mind) I did.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
11:19 pm
No she didn’t Billings, you asked her that, so you’re answering the question you asked Claire.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
1:42 am
Goddamn it, my face got cut off in those:
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
1:49 am
You were such an adorable baby, Claire. What happened? Was it a horrible accident or some rare genetic disease?
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
1:52 am
Fuck off, Bruised.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
1:54 am
It was the mytosis Bruce.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
1:55 am
Prissy, are you sure you weren’t looking in a mirror when you made that statement? After all, ever since you got that disease, you look absolutely horrifying.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
1:57 am
So Bruce, did Stevie Wonder cut your hair?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
2:00 am
My haircut is quite stylish. All the girls at my Clubs love to run their fingers through it.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
2:03 am
Prissy, those are legos, you cause any woman within 5 feet of you to run the other direction as to escape your horrifying nature.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
5:49 am
“You were such an adorable baby, Claire. What happened?”
Toxoplasmosis. Such a waste =(
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
10:29 pm
Blanche, stop licking your own asshole and stop taking cues from Billings, okay?
For Christ’s sake, you two are REALLY loving the smell of your own farts these days…
Praise or Condemn:
0 
5
10:35 pm
Thank you Sister Blanche. August & I worked very hard on these. We spent hours testing them & getting input from good white Christian children. The results have been phenomenal. Thanks for your support. Bless you.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
10:38 pm
They are just lovely!
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
10:40 pm
Sorry i don’t give money to cults.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
4
11:12 pm
With Claire’s inspiration, are we going to start all sharing???
Praise or Condemn:
4 
1
11:15 pm
Oh, this makes me want to throw a cloth diaper on my shoulder and give somebody a good burp.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
11:18 pm
I’m sure that Ellen and some of the other atheist sickos who comment here would be into that. They always have to make something dirty out of the most innocent comments. Perverts.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
11:16 pm
Mother always said I was a heartbreaker!
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
11:18 pm
You’ve stolen mine!
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
11:26 pm
I love babies! It means someone wasnt aborted!
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
11:18 pm
Same picture flipped
You can find this all over google. Sorry bro. Someone stole your baby picture
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
11:19 pm
You should really do your jilling off in private, you know.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
11:26 pm
I have no idea what jillings is supposed to mean. My auto correct tells me it’s not a word. Looked it up in the dictionary. Nothing. I’m going to assume that it’s slang.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
3
11:31 pm
Jilling off is the distaff equivalent of jacking off. Next you’ll be telling me that “distaff” isn’t a word either!
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
12:26 am
What the hell does masturbating have to do with posting a picture of a baby?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
4
4:21 am
Also, a distaff is a tool used for spinning.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
3
5:57 am
“What the hell does masturbating have to do with posting a picture of a baby?”
In this case it means you’re being a complete jerk-off.
“Also, a distaff is a tool used for spinning.”
Wow. Are you really that dense? I guess you are.
May I have the pleasure of introducing you to a titan of American academe by the name of Noah Webster?
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/distaff
1. a : a staff for holding the flax, tow, or wool in spinning
b : woman’s work or domain
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
6:03 am
You pretty much just repeated the same thing I said.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
1:41 pm
Oh exbrony, it seems like every time you call out CD she only proves how willingly ignorant she is.
First off she didn’t know who Ayn Rand was, now she has no clue what a distaff counterpart is!
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
9:43 pm
Ex-atheist, Don’t forget that CD maintains that Amsterdam has the world’s only legal red-light district!
Hers is the most perverse of attitudes, it’s as if she really thinks she has nothing to learn.
Personally, I know that I still have an enormous amount to learn — and I learn new things from yourself and the Christwire staff every day!
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
11:21 pm
Billings, that isn’t you. That’s an image that’s been posted on various corners of the internet.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
5
11:26 pm
Doesn’t mean that it’s not Stephenson. It might have been stolen from his Facebook or something.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
0
11:31 pm
Doubt it, Billings doesn’t know how the internet works, he just recently learned how to put pictures up online.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
4
11:35 pm
I had this on my Geocities page briefly a very, very long time ago.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
0
11:37 pm
L.N.
We’ve been having a loving discussion on the thread and I think you are bringing a real palpable negativity, one might say malevolent, energy to what was something beautiful.
Can you just walk in grace and respect for the sacred that lives in each of us – just this once?
BB
Praise or Condemn:
7 
0
11:45 pm
Considering how you’re a madman, Billings, you really can’t ever defend yourself anymore.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
6
11:53 pm
Funny thing is that LN accuses me of being a coward and yet he’s the last person to reveal the slightest bit of detail about himself. I have put myself out there and done so much sharing and yes, that opens me up to criticism. LN, on the other hand, hides behind all these implausible philosophical stances like he’s some giant Freud or something. More like a giant Fraud if you ask me.
Praise or Condemn:
5 
1
12:03 am
Considering how you want to rape and kill me, Billings, give me one reason why I should give you any kind of spank material. And considering how Bitcham doesn’t use an actual picture of herself, Robert stole his picture from a newspaper article, and how your picture isn’t of you, you really have nothing with the whole ‘Fraud’ thing. Oh, and you can’t take one bit of criticism either, you just rave and ravage and bitch and moan until you get your way, or else you just run away.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
4
10:53 am
L.N.’s baby picture:
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
11:04 am
Laughing out loud, but I have always imagined that Ellen’s mouth would be a little more pinched ..
Praise or Condemn:
5 
0
11:47 pm
The internet has corners? What a strange place.
Praise or Condemn:
8 
0
12:27 am
You’re barely figuring that out now?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
6
1:05 am
Oh gross! What a disgusting baby!
Praise or Condemn:
1 
6
10:51 am
My parents had a strange sense of humor. I’m glad I outgrew this childishness.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
11:13 am
Sorry, I meant this:
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
11:17 am
Either my computer is blocking me from seeing my own picture, or the link isn’t working. I’m so confused, a little bit frightened, sort of hungry too.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
2:12 pm
Prissy, you already posted your baby picture, you confused it with me for some odd reason.
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11:28 pm
Why, if I didn’t know the good admins at this fine site to be people of exceptional honesty and compassion, I might believe that this entire article was a personal attack, grossly exaggerated for the benefit of those less accustomed to the “Claire is a crazy mad veterinarian cat lady” stereotype!
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11:50 pm
Hi Claire, I know we broke down the fourth wall here tonight and much of what has been said may be hurtful to you, but I really want you to understand that everyone at Christwire loves you profoundly and deeply. We cherish you as a vital member of our family and quite simply, Christwire would be far less without you. Please feel free to share any problems you may have, any personal issues, any emotional drama, etc. We are here for YOU kiddo! So I’m sorry some of our journalists had to be honest and explain your faults in details, but we only do it because we want to help you mature into a beautiful human being some day. If I can do my part helping you mature into a woman, I would be so happy. God bless my little cherub!
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11:55 pm
‘Breaking the fourth wall’ is a term that’s applied to media, not psychology, and YOU are the one with a shit ton of issues to go through.
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4
12:00 am
Yes, this is the news media you pickininny.
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12:29 am
Let me rephrase that then since you’re stupid, it’s a term that’s applied to ENTERTAINMENT media. Besides, you STILL got it wrong since you tried to apply it to psychological analysis.
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12:21 am
The fourth estate is media and journalism, but I only offer that as constructive information, not in a way that questions your manhood or will harm your delicate feelings.
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12:32 am
Using fourth estate is debatable, but ‘breaking the fourth wall’ isn’t, considering it applies to fictional media where characters or events recognize that they’re not real.
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10:40 am
Media like tempra paint?
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12:01 am
Your heart is as big as your love for God, Brother Stephenson. Bless you.
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12:28 am
After reading this, I took the dog out for his midnight tinkle. Looking up at the cloudy sky, I was overcome with the beautiful sentiment from such a tender soul. I admit to tearing up a little bit.
I hope Claire knows that every word of it is true.
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1
12:34 am
Hopefully, a week from now when you are outside, you will see kids playing with these toys.
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1
1:01 am
Billings, all I can say is…
Fuck off.
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1:03 am
Billings, you realize that nothing you ever say is taken seriously, right? Those people who hadn’t seen your psychosis already surely saw it today.
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12:21 am
If these are new, then why does amazon have these products (Without the photoshopped “Claire” and “Christwire” on the package of course) with customer reviews from as far back as 2004?
http://www.amazon.com/Accoutrements-Crazy-Lady-Action-Figure/product-reviews/B0006GKJ7C/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1
Whats the matter, couldn’t think of actual toys yourself?
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12:32 am
Also
http://www.amazon.com/Accoutrements-Emergency-Meow-Button/dp/B005BI36AW
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12:27 pm
I wouldn’t expect you children to understand the concepts of branding, marketing and licensing since you’ve never held an actual job. No, internet brand aura specialist and Facebook aficionado doesn’t count!
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1:01 pm
Billings shut up. You are always wrong. I am not a child, I’m 24 you complete dumbass. Stop trying to think you know shit when you don’t And don’t even get me started on jobs.
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1:08 pm
I’m 22, so calling me a child is getting old Billings. I have an actual job.
You don’t know anything about Ex-Christian and I and only look a fool if you start assuming things about us.
“…concepts of branding, marketing and licensing ”
All these are moot in this argument since you don’t own or even have anything to do with these toys.
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3
1:22 pm
I have shoes older than these kids!
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0
1:24 pm
Just because you happen to be older than us, dosen’t make us kids.
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1:25 pm
It doesn’t make you adults, either.
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1:27 pm
Dosen’t mean you can call us children though. It’s degrading and there’s no point in it
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1:33 pm
Ah so you have shoes older than 24?
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1:33 pm
Perhaps if you behaved in a more mature manner, the evaluation would be unnecessary.
When you meet the standard of adult behavior, perhaps you will be treated as one.
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1:37 pm
Yes, I do have 24 year old shoes. They are handcrafted leather that I have had re-soled twice.
I also have some Doc Martins from the 1980′s that wear sometimes in winter. They don’t make them the same.
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1:39 pm
Explain to me how I’m not meeting the adult standard of behavior exactly?
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3
1:46 pm
We use the Socratic method of teaching behavior. Which means, you need to observe the feedback and change your behavior if you would like changes in feedback, m’kay little buddy?
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2:24 pm
I observe the feedback from Christwire, Use my knowledge to determine if I agree with the feedback, and create an argument if I disagree. That’s normal. The only reason my feedback dosen’t change often is because Christwire hasn’t managed to change my mind yet
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12:33 am
http://tylerdurden.hubpages.com/hub/Cat-A-Pult
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12:35 am
Thank you Ex-Christian! I know that putting multiple links in one comments gets it stuck in mod mode for a bit, was just working and getting the other links…but got distracted…
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12:39 am
It is a licensing thing we pay the kids in china to make them and brand them for us. Have you ever noticed that voltron and power rangers use some of the same toys.
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12:40 am
Then how do you explain the time it was put out? 2004? Did someone go back in time? Just admit you guys didn’t create these toys.
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12:42 am
“It is a licensing thing we pay the kids in china to make them and brand them for us.”
That dosen’t even make a good argument. Christwire has nothing to do with these toys, you just photoshopped your name on it ad called it yours.
“Have you ever noticed that voltron and power rangers use some of the same toys.”
Huh?
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4
1:01 am
These kids do not understand research, investment, manufacture, distribution & marketing. They’d probably be surprised to find out how many of exactly the same thing they own with a different branding.
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1:05 am
You aren’t making something with a different brand though, your taking the EXACT same product and slapping “Christwire” on it.
These EXACT toys have already been out a few years already and YOU had nothing to do with them.
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1:13 am
You need to read up on licensing as August mentioned. You are speaking of a business & product manufacture realm which is far above your childish head. Business goes beyond ordering a Big Mac.
There are many years of testing, marketing, branding, re-testing, re-branding, etc. until you come up with a product you can put your name on.
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1:18 am
“There are many years of testing, marketing, branding, re-testing, re-branding, etc. until you come up with a product you can put your name on.”
Yet these toys were first out in 2004. Supposedly they’re made in my likeness, but I didn’t start posting here until 2008.
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1:20 am
You need to read up on licensing as August mentioned.
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1:23 am
“…until you come up with a product you can put your name on”
Here’s the thing you can’t seem to read; THESE AREN’T EVEN YOUR PRODUCTS.
Understand?
You’re just taking SOMEONE ELSE’S toy, crudely slapping your name on it, and calling it yours when it clearly isn’t.
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2
1:30 am
Please prove that Chris†wire does not own these products.
You really have NO understanding of how business works. Everything starts as a prototype & then gets refined until it’s what you want. Even if it’s marketed or sold. You utilize feedback & research to refine the product until you have something you can put your brand on.
Ever seen the words “New & Improved” on a product you thought was already out there?
I can’t argue with someone, about business & marketing, who probably has never even written a check.
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1:35 am
We never claimed to manufacture these items, only to license them. See my reponce to Law. http://christwire.org/2012/03/new-christwire-collector-toys-in-stores-now/#comment-236847
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1:35 am
Nevertheless, those toys were created to make fun of me. If I didn’t show up until 2008, how were there prototypes out in 2004?
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1:39 am
These kids don’t understand business Brother August… Probably be easier explaining it to my retriever.
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1:43 am
You bastards can hide behind your words as much as you want, the fact remains that you’re nothing more than a bunch of lying little cock suckers who spent too much free time insulting someone just because she’s against your beliefs, and even though she has said quite a few vile things, the fact that you bastards have done and said MUCH worse as far as basic humanity goes means you really shouldn’t try to garner any sympathy whatsoever.
The toys were made in 2004, owned by a pre-existing company, and any attempt to hide behind ‘licensing issues’ is futile considering you couldn’t have run into them in the first damn place.
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4
1:47 am
L.Q. That was one of the most nonsensical word salads I’ve read in quite some time. Did you just mash the keyboard??
You forgot the death threat too.
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0
1:50 am
Look, the wife beating coward tried to make an insult, how cute. Run along little redneck bitch, you said you were going to laugh at the widows of dead soldiers tomorrow.
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1 
4
1:51 am
We put a lot of fellowship money into licensing of this Law, so you better buy some!
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0
1:58 am
There’s the L.7. I’ve come to know… Making up facts about me to make himself less inadequate.
I would never laugh at a widowed soldier’s wife or husband. They’ve sacrificed more than you will ever come close to. Child.
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2 
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2:02 am
Except they’re still being sold by the original company, meaning you couldn’t sell them legally whatsoever. Not only that, but by not using the internet to sell your supposed goods, you can’t hope to make a profit anymore, and if you’re unable to sell via the internet, then the absolute only thing preventing you would be legal bounds, considering you’re literally just pasting two things on someone else’s product and acting as if you made them (and don’t try that ‘licensing’ bullshit, you’re using the terminology entirely wrong, the original company is not giving you permission to sell their stuff and allowing you to add two things on it).
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3
2:06 am
And Keyes? Of course you would, you’re a coward. You wouldn’t step a foot onto the field of battle to defend your life, you’d beg and plead your attacker to let you live and even let him or her do terrible things to your family if it meant saving your sorry ass.
After all, hate begets hate. You decided to talk shit about Dutch people and do terrible things to your wife of 35 years, why should you be treated with any amount of decency or respect?
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4
2:10 am
I’d like to see L.J. argue with me without made up facts.
Again, I strongly suggest an imaginary friend you can make into whatever you want.
I can also assure you that if you actually saw the real field of battle you would whimper like a homeless puppy without a mommy.
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3 
1
2:06 am
L.G. is very delusional. Now, I believe he thinks he has a business & licensing degree. Now, that’s cute.
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3 
1
9:57 pm
Claire – I was on this earth 44 years before your parents made a terrible mistake. There are many things I have done & accomplished in my life, long before you became an opinionated brat & long before you joined ChrisTwire… before me.
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0
6:04 am
August, these clowns are just trying to play “gotcha”.
Either they are embarrassingly ignorant of the way that business works (which would come as no surprise whatsoever), or they are just being dishonest (which would come as no suprise, either). Either way, shame on them.
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2 
0
12:58 am
Good catch, Ouro and Ex-Christian.
Can’t these fuckers be sued for taking someone else’s product and trying to pass it off as their own?
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1 
3
1:03 am
I think they could only get in legal trouble if they ACTUALLY try and sell these with their names on it…Which we all know they won’t…
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4
1:33 am
Christwire is known for two things: it’s supporters being cowards and liars. If they actually tried to do anything, it’d be a cold day in Hell.
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1 
3
6:17 am
I take it that you meant “its”, not “it’s”.
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1:35 pm
Yes I did, it was roughly 12/1:30 am and I was staring to get tired and didn’t catch my error, apologies.
Though, I have to ask, do you seriously own an alligator?
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2
4:11 pm
Exbrony (possibly) owns an alligator? Thats awesome!
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2
9:46 pm
I never said that I owned an alligator. Where on Earth did you get that idea?
Have you been chroming off your tits huffing spray paint?
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1 
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10:44 pm
I meant a crocodile, my bad. Bad habit, I mix the two up all the damn time.
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0 
1
11:24 pm
Yes, I did say that I had a crocodile, but I was only kidding.
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1 
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7:32 am
Pathetic, Claire. “Tit” is no more misogynist than “dick” is misandrist. And since Ouro and LN are both male, I was clearly referring to male tits.
Tell you what, though, I’ll stop using the word if you stop using “bitch” and “whore”. Deal?
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2 
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7:17 pm
Like I said, pathetic.
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1 
0
1:47 am
2008 Claire? Now who is making things up?
You have a huge fan base Claire. Here is a group of students from Harvard that sent us a picture of a “Claire drinking game party”. They drink every time you post something stupid and dress like you.
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1:51 am
“2008 Claire? Now who is making things up?”
I’ve been on here since 2008…why is that so hard to comprehend?
“You have a huge fan base Claire.”
Everybody who believes that stand on your head…
“They drink every time you post something stupid and dress like you.”
Yeah…except I don’t dress like that. At all.
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3
1:53 am
No, 2009 would be correct.
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0
1:55 am
I started posting in 2008; I didn’t register until 2009.
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1:57 am
Was hoping you’d stop posting by 2010
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9 
0
1:59 am
Oh look, Peckerface himself makes an appearance!
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5
1:59 am
And we hoped that you and your cult would have drowned the moment you decided to spread your hate, Tyson.
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4
2:03 am
It’s a shame all of their mothers hadn’t worked up the courage to drown them when they were infants…
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4
3:03 am
TYSON where’s susan we can have a party if she gets out of the old people house
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2
1:31 pm
Didn’t you hear? Susan passed away last week.
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2
2:57 am
““Tit” is a misogynistic word for “breast”, brony. Why must you debase women in such a way”
It’s a well-known phrase and “off your breasts” isn’t.
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1 
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3:21 pm
Claire, you were such a cute and promising baby! I’m guessing all the cat dander altered your development through adolescence. What a pity.
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3 
0
3:25 pm
Shut the fuck up, Adam.
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3:43 pm
So Adam, if you find me so unattractive now, then what was this bullshit all about?
“He just wanted an attractive woman to have his way with”
“My beautiful friend, why are you being so terse? It’s cute, though. You’re just so cute, my sweet Claire.”
“You do not look like a boy, so that’s just mean to say about yourself. Is someone saying you look like that? If they are, they are blind. Women tend to have v-shaped chins.”
http://christwire.org/2011/10/should-k-states-emaw-slogan-be-outlawed-for-sexism/
Care to admit that you’re just a lying son of a whore?
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4
5:20 pm
That Cat-a-pult is a truly delightful invention. I might just try building a life-size one and trying it out the next time I’m in Boston.
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4 
0
5:54 pm
Can you test it out with your self, abe and tyson I need some targets flying by.
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1 
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7:41 pm
When ya’lls told me you was putting up an article about Claires toys I thought you meant her sex toys.
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3 
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8:14 pm
Claire is a very special lady to all of us here at Christwire. Our Christwire Handbook was even dedicated to her! (And some others… Actually I had a terrible fight with the guys over this, I wanted to dedicate the book to our Mothers, but hey, Claire is almost as good.)
ps. See Claire? I wasn’t lying even though you never quite believed me.
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6 
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8:23 pm
Whoopdie doo.
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1 
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8:28 pm
Oh come on now! How many teenage mall rats in Boston have books dedicated to them? You can take a bow, Claire. It’s okay!
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6 
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8:31 pm
For fuck’s sake, I’m not a “mall rat”. I HATE shopping and the Cambridgeside Galleria is, frankly, dangerous to hang around in due to the gang activity.
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1 
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8:36 pm
So August and I were talking earlier about you and the early days of Christwire. Do you remember what brought you to the site for the first time? Which article?
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3 
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8:39 pm
No, I don’t recall.
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2
8:40 pm
Oh, and what would Dracula know about my early days on Christwire? He’s only been on here for a year.
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1 
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8:40 pm
TRY HARDER!
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4 
0
8:41 pm
August was asking about you is all, about what the teenage Claire was all about before she started to blossom.
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4 
0
8:42 pm
“August was asking about you is all, about what the teenage Claire was all about before she started to blossom.”
Started to blossom? Blossom how?
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1 
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8:42 pm
If ever they make a tv show about you Claire they should call it “Blossom!”
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4 
0
8:43 pm
Blossom into a woman.
But don’t let that go to your head, you’re not there yet, you scamp!
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4 
0
8:44 pm
Please answer my question. What do you mean by “blossom”?
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8:46 pm
“Blossom into a woman.”
I started posting on this site when I was 18 – I was already a woman.
“But don’t let that go to your head, you’re not there yet, you scamp!”
Actually I am – I’m now 21-years-old. Please don’t call anybody older than 10 “scamp”; it’s quite derogatory to adults.
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8:47 pm
BLOSSOM INTO A WOMAN!
Don’t you know what that means? Goodness, I wonder what your mother was doing up there in Boston… It means that you’re maturing and growing up in special feminine ways, you notice the boys around you and you’ve become independent enough that you can travel about town unchaperoned. A woman is on her own for an amount of time after her girlhood and before her marriage. That’s all I mean, Blossom.
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4 
0
8:51 pm
So have you remembered anything yet?
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3 
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8:52 pm
“That’s all I mean, Blossom.”
Is that what you call me in your sick fantasy about me being your daughter and wearing a pink dress and playing with barbies in the driveway?
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1 
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8:57 pm
I just came up with a fabulous idea for a tv show! It’s called “Blossom and Mr. B” about a whip-smart Yankee teenager who loves cats, skateboarders and malls. She move down to Tennessee to live with her Christian republican uncle, the fuddy-dudy Mr. B. and they run into all sorts of zany adventures as their two lifestyles collide!
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9:07 pm
I’m seeing Gary Busey as Mr. B and Justin Beaver as Blossom… And maybe Wilfred Brimley as mother (he’s have to trim his mustache).
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6 
0
10:18 pm
He can’t shave every day on account the diabetes and his neuropathy.
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2 
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9:10 pm
“a whip-smart Yankee teenager who loves cats, skateboarders and malls.”
I’m not a teenager, I hate skateboarders, and I hate malls.
Can you not comprehend that?
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0 
7
9:13 pm
Well of course I’m not going to make your character a 21 year old who moves across state lines to live with some handsome, athletic but gracefully aging older man! That would just sound weird.
Listen, this project isn’t even beyond the idea stage and you’re already quarreling with me about everything? I don’t think your heart is in this project, frankly.
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6 
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9:18 pm
“handsome, athletic but gracefully aging older man!”
You are none of those, fatass.
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1 
3
10:50 pm
Billings, you DO realize that you are sinning right now by blowing up your ego, right?
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1 
2
11:13 pm
It’s too bad Comedian isn’t still alive to see his moment of glory. This was probably his greatest acheivement in life. Poor soul… I just hope you don’t end up like him, Claire! Dying drunk and alone with an extreme form of Japanese suicide involving a cucumber is no way to go.
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3 
1
11:27 pm
I’m dead from suicide? Well, I sure would’ve loved to have known that!
Stevie, where DO you get off on talking about others behind their backs? Do you think I’ve left the site? I still haunt the place on my off hours or when work is slow as hell, I’ve seen how you talk smack about other people when they aren’t around.
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0 
3
3:53 pm
LOL! Who are YOU buddy? The real Comedian is long gone. You’re just some two dimensional impostor.
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2 
0
4:01 pm
Did Billings just say ‘lol’ instead of ‘laughing out loud’?! Who the fuck are YOU?!
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1 
2
4:04 pm
Apparently Stevie doesn’t like the fact that I’m still here, so he had to make delusional statements and tried ever so hard to believe in them so he could deal with the fact that I still see what he does.
So, Stevie, still living with your mother? Did you actually step outside for something other than ice cream or burgers, for once, or did you collapse near the door? I’m sure your mother’s drinking problem has gotten worse by now, considering you haven’t moved out yet.
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1 
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4:15 pm
Claire is that you?????
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2 
0
11:30 pm
No way, you bastards actually included me? I’m touched! I might actually have to get a copy and not burn it now! I’m a freakin’ Christwire celebrity!
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2
11:41 pm
Eek! a zombie!
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3 
0
3:54 pm
You’re welcome little buddy.
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2 
0
4:05 pm
I didn’t thank you, you waste of space, I’m just shocked that you all decided to include me.
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1 
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4:13 pm
The Real Comedian was a decent human being, albeit a very flawed and irrational person. Sometimes he could even be quite dumb. It was that reckless stupidity that ultimately did him in. In the end, he often turned to me for forgiveness, which I was more than happy to provide. I think he understood me and looked up to me as the father he never had, the great mentor of his life. I did try to help, but his addiction to drugs and his love of liberalism were too great. I am comforted by the fact that he did concede that I was his mental superior and his spiritual superior in every way. I hope he took that knowledge with him to the next life.
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2 
0
4:20 pm
You tried pulling that stunt once before and it didn’t work. Do you not recall how much I hate you? How much I want you dead? How much of a terrible, horrible human being you are? How much I so want to see you hang? If you were dying right in front of me, and I held some kind of miraculous way of saving you, I would stand there, dangling it over your head, watching you cry and beg me to save your worthless life.
I never liked you, Stevie, I always hated you. You’re nothing but a heartless, soulless bastard who’s only good at one thing: lying out his ass. You think you’re better than every other person on the face of the Earth, you have a severe God Complex that you need to work out, and you need to realize just how much of a pathetic scumbag you really are.
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0 
3
4:22 pm
Oh come on, even I can tell that this commenter is LN!!!! You guys are fantasticly funny but I’m not that dumb!
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2 
0
4:31 pm
Stevie, are you just upset that I’m back? Didn’t you try to say I was l.n already? Do you think I’ve forgotten the crap you’ve said? Do you think I don’t come to this site anymore?
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1 
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10:55 pm
I wonder if we could get the cat toy Claire to lead her cats in a round of song
This little light of mine,
I’m gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I’m gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I’m gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.
Hide it under a bushel? No!
I’m gonna let it shine
Hide it under a bushel? No!
I’m gonna let it shine
Hide it under a bushel? No!
I’m gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.
This little light of mine,
I’m gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I’m gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I’m gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.
Don’t let Satan blow it out,
I’m gonna let it shine
Don’t let Satan blow it out,
I’m gonna let it shine
Don’t let Satan blow it out,
I’m gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.
This little light of mine,
I’m gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I’m gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I’m gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.
Shine all over
[name of town]
I’m gonna let it shine
Shine all over
[name of town]
I’m gonna let it shine
Shine all over
[name of town]
I’m gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.
This little light of mine,
I’m gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I’m gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I’m gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.
Let it shine til Jesus comes,
I’m gonna let it shine
Let it shine til Jesus comes,
I’m gonna let it shine
Let it shine til Jesus comes,
I’m gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.
This little light of mine,
I’m gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I’m gonna let it shine
This little light of mine,
I’m gonna let it shine
Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine.
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
11:04 pm
We posting song lyrics now?!
“I want to cut you open, see your colours run
I want to play I want to have a friend to have some fun
Don’t be afraid, don’t cry, just give in
This is the last time I’ll see you again
So come on, relax, just sit still
You belong to me and you will
keep quiet and look me in the eye
Cos I wanna f*** you, wanna f***you while you f****** die.”
I wonder if anyone knows this song besides me…
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1 
3
11:32 pm
Sounds sorta like A7X, but I don’t think it is…
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2
11:40 pm
Nah, it’s actually made by some guy on the Internet named Futret.
It’s lyrics to Cupcakes by Futret, a really great techno song.
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2
11:35 pm
*eyeroll*
If you spent less time listening to emosexual pop music you would have more time to spend improving your general knowledge. Such as why homosexualists use amyl nitrate.
“Poppers relax muscles such as the sphincter of the anus, which can make anal sex less painful. Poppers also cause blood vessels to dilate … as a result, users experience a flush feeling and increased sexual arousal”
http://gaylife.about.com/od/sex/a/poppers.htm
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11:43 pm
Emosexual pop? Not even close.
It dosen’t mean every gay guy uses them.
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1
11:45 pm
You said that gays have nothing to do with amyl. Clearly they do. It is part of mainstream gay culture.
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11:57 pm
You know what, I’ll admit you got me on this one. Your knowledge of homosexuals confuses me, but I’ll give you this win.
BUT Gays still have nothin to do with gasoline and I stand by this point
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12:11 am
Well, Ouro, I am pleased that you are willing to learn. If only the same was true of the likes of CelestialEmo!
I don’t know why you would be “confused” about my knowledge of homosexualism — the lamestream media rams it down our throats every day!
I thought you might have known a bit more about the topic yourself since you live with a homosexualist, but it seems as though he’s been keeping his cards close to his freshly waxed chest.
If you need to know anything else — otters or Polari, for instance — just let me know =)
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12:17 am
The only reason I’m confused on your knowledge is because you seem to know way too much on the subject, which isn’t a bad thing it just confuses me is all.
“I thought you might have known a bit more about the topic yourself since you live with a homosexualist…”
But this maks it seem like your just assuming all gays are the same and do all the same things, which they don’t. They’re just as varied as anyone else.
“…otters or Polari…”
Otters are pretty cool…No idea what Polari is though…
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0 
1
4:31 pm
MY TURN MY TURN
You are the hole in my head
You are the space in my bed
You are the silence in between
What I thought and what I said
You are the nighttime fear
You are the morning when it’s clear
When it’s over, you’re the start
You’re my head and you’re my heart
No light, no light
In your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day
You can’t choose what stays and what fades away
And I’d do anything to make you stay
No light, no light
Tell me what you want me to say
To the crowd I was crying out and
In your place there were a thousand other faces
I was disappearing in plain sight
Heaven help me, I need to make it right
You want a revelation
You want to get “right”
But it’s a conversation
I just can’t have tonight
You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution
You want a revelation
No light, no light
In your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day
You can’t choose what stays and what fades away
And I’d do anything to make you stay
No light, no light
Tell me what you want me to say
Would you leave me
If I told you what I’d done?
And would you leave me
If I told you what I’d become?
‘Cause it’s so easy
To say it to a crowd
But it’s so hard, my love
To say it to you out loud
No light, no light
In your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day
You can’t choose what stays and what fades away
And I’d do anything to make you stay
No light, no light
Tell me what you want me to say
You want a revelation
You want to get “right”
But it’s a conversation
I just can’t have tonight
You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution
You want a revelation
You want a revelation
You want to get “right”
But it’s a conversation
I just can’t have tonight
You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution
Tell me what you want me to say
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0 
2
12:40 pm
C.D. – For an artist, you’re not very deep. You’re more like looking into an oily puddle of water in a parking lot. I can still see the bottom, even thru the rainbow of colors.
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1:14 pm
First of all, I didn’t write these lyrics. Second of all, who told you I was an artist? I don’t think I ever mentioned that ever. Not once.
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2
5:04 pm
We know you didn’t write that song… Chris†wire profiles all of it’s commentators.
I stand by my constructive criticism.
Bless you.
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1 
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5:30 pm
CelestialDeth Profile-
Likes: Sci-fi, horror, comic books (X-men+), Sherlock Holmes
Dislikes: People, Chris†wire
Aliases: Sarah, Irish
Occupation: Starving Artist
Talents: Makes brownies
Disposition: Paranoid/Lonely
Possible celebrity stalker…
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1 
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5:39 pm
Were the holy hell did you get that bull crap?
I have no idea how to make brownies.
If I was a starving artist I wouldn’t have eaten a chicken sandwich right now.
I don’t read X-Men comics. I just watch the movies.
I can’t stalk my favorite celebrities. They all live in England.
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5:48 pm
A lesson about your depth: A starving artist is an artist who sacrifices material well-being in order to focus on their artwork.
We noted X-men because of the comic book connection…
We threw the brownies in so you didn’t seem inhuman & they’re not that hard to make.
We have more thorough files, but it would not be polite to share that information in the open like this.
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1 
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6:03 pm
If you have so much information what does mine say? Hmmmm?
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2
6:12 pm
I wasn’t assigned your profile Ex-Christian… We divide the work up, as there are so many users from here, various Fellowship forums, twitter & facebook profiles.
I can find out which of my Brothers or Sisters have it. I can have them post it for you or they can share it with me & I can post it here.
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6:34 pm
Ex-Christian, you are irrelevant.
Your file says: “who cares”
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6:43 pm
Oh oh! Do I have a profile! Because I have something to add:
Prone to change personalities at random offbeat times!
My personal profile says that!
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6:56 pm
A lesson to you: I was being sarcastic.
Of course I’m a starving artist. I’ve only been drawing for five years. That’s what I’m in college for, so I can understand things, and how to properly express myself. Do you think I walked into my first art class and pretended to know everything? I didn’t.
If all you have about me is what I like materially, that is pretty sad information gathering skills.
Also my occupation is working for my brother, who does people’s taxes, so I help make adverts for him, filing, and then I freelance and do commissions for people in my university. I also get paid to write articles. So you could put that in occupation.
Talents. I can bend my fingers all the way to the back of my hand. I swim. I do voice acting. I make clothes.
Disposition. Paranoid. That is very accurate actually.
Dislike. People. Also true. I only like certain select people from my childhood. and my roommates. And my family. People. Uh. Fuck people.
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7:06 pm
As I stated, I won’t publish anything more that’s personal information.
I’m glad to know what I did publish is correct, which means I’m doing my job right. I’ll add the articles as well as your short stories.
Bless you.
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7:31 pm
Good luck at finding my pen name.
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7:39 pm
No luck needed. (You’d be surprised what an IP can yield.) But I appreciate the well wishes. God Bless.
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9:25 pm
It doesn’t matter what it reveals. I’m using a computer from my school, and anyway, I don’t write articles for the internet.
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12:19 am
Your unusual last name helps too.
Bless you.
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12:56 am
Right. Uh huh.
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2
9:40 am
P******e.
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2:42 pm
If I didn’t want anyone to know my last name I wouldn’t have put it on the internet. I’m shaking in my Doc Marten’s.
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2:56 pm
I’m not sure why you’re shaking. I was just pointing out your unusual last name makes forming your profile a bit easier. Not like it’s Smith or something you know.
No need to worry about it. We just receive so many death threats from people it has become necessary to keep track of everyone. We will need the information should anything ever happen to one of us. I’m sure you can appreciate our caution.
If you take a minute & read thru any number of comments here at Chris†wire, you will see several death threats against us, from different sources. Our lawyers & other authorities have advised that the steps of profiling, tracking & recording are in our best interest. (If you do any reading about IP information, you will see you can only obtain it legally.)
Thanks for helping out a bit with your own profile. I appreciate it.
Enjoy your time here at Chris†wire.
Bless you.
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3:05 pm
The only person I ever threatened was Bruce because of his threats of stalking and sexual harassment. I merely warned him that if I ever caught him following me I would use all of my resources to defend myself. You can see how I would be concerned about that, being a young lady like myself.
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3:12 pm
I’m sure some of our opinions here will upset you, we seem to do that for some reason. Since it’s America, we are all allowed to have our opinions & beliefs. As we are all also allowed to disagree with one another. Just avoid threatening anyone with death or bodily harm & it won’t be a big deal.
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4:15 pm
Then please tell Bruce to stop saying that he’s going to take me out to lunch sometime. It’s very creepy and even if the intentions are ‘good’ it’s still unwanted and I can’t go out to lunch with random people of the internet. I have finals to study for.
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4:20 pm
CD, Bruce is an esteemed member here. You could opt to not visit us.
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4:27 pm
No problem C.D. I will speak with Brother Bruce. He is a very decent man, under a great deal of pressure. He is so often directly exposed to treacherous, indecent, hateful people that he is most likely drawn to your perceived purity. I’m sure you can forgive him for that.
At the same time I understand your concern. Bless you.
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5:06 pm
Praise be August! This song reminds me of beautiful picture I recently saw of Brother Stephenson’s folks.
Let It Shine…. Brother, let it shine. Bless you.
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12:42 am
Claire isn’t a real person anyway.
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