Rick Santorum Leads National Prayer to Protect Earth from Solar Flares 2012 Wrath for Gays
In the image above, we can see the Angel of Wrath using his sword to whip out a mighty rush of solar winds for Earth! The timer had gone off and God was ready to blow a mighty gust of damnation up the tailpipes of every gay on Earth and anyone caught in the crossfire! But the prayers of the righteous availeth much, Rick Santorum prayed this wrath down and gays are getting on more chance.
Yet moments later
Gays nearly caused Solar Flare Storms 2012, but Rick Santorum prayed and caused this angel to appear over Iceland to protect Earth.
Wichita, KS - On the campaign trail, Rick Santorum prays to spare all humanity from solar flares 2012, including gays.
Earth has survived its most terrifying moment since a terrorist tried to harm President George W. Bush with shoe missiles. In our hour of judgment, it was the prayers of a righteous man who saved us all. Every person on Earth, today you owe Rick Santorum a deep thank you.
To imagine God’s anger today, just imagine that you own a dog or even a cat. You just cleaned your nice home, creating a pristine place of entertainment and comfort. You are inviting your colleagues over to fellowship when your dog comes in, taking a massive kaisse sheisse on the floor! Or maybe it is your cat, pulling an R. Kelly tinkle time all over the place!
The offensive anger and turning of the nose you’d have while trying to clean it does not compare to how angry God gets every time he smells gay fornication! He created the intestines so that nutrients may be soaked into the body and wastes expelled! He created the rectal crevice so that we can hold it when on a long trip and need to go number 2! BUT, gays are turning that all around.
They love to bend over and grab their ankles, tramping the word of God with their sassfrashing feet as they play pin the Satan donkey scepter in the stink hole. God already nuked Sodom and Gomorrah for having gay men. God exploded Mount Vesuvius and wiped out half Italy because the men were gay. But now, with gay marriage being allowed, it made him so angry that he was going to strike us down with a solar storm.
We were all spared from being seared with the gays, however, because of one man. Rick Santorum.
As the hour of judgement struck and the Sun blew out a massive flame of damnation, Rick Santorum bent his head down in prayer. “Lord, please give us more time. Please give these people time to elect me to office and overturn all gay marriage. Please let us have a chance to make everyone realize why being gay is a bad choice and way having a nuclear family is serving you. I love you, God, and these people can too. Even the gays. ” – Rick Santorum, praying God’s gay wrath away.
Only moments after this prayer, Icelandic scientists were issued a warning from the National Weather Service. A massive flame was t-20 seconds from striking them and melting all the glaciers there. God was going to flood them with massive ice that washed into their lungs and intestines, freezing again and expanding in the body, ripping them apart and not healing their hypothermia until they reached sublimination in the furnaces of hell!
But we can see in the image at the right, God sends an angel. Look at her face and gown, a light ethereal gray color. Her greenish white wings flaps heavenly winds, gently brushing away the 5,000,000,000,000 degree kelvin Fahrenheit heat that was going to melt straight though all those glaciers you see.
Isn’t God good?
God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good. This miraculous picture should bring tears to your eyes as it does mine. Even when we falter and transgress against the heavenly father, we can see he protects us from damnation. Even when the gays are to blame and we are not helping them heal themselves, he postphones our punishment so we can get it right and not die as guilty due to being sin enablers.
Yes, we are guilty my friends. We are guilty of allowing gays to terrorize each other’s backsides with liquid IEDs of explosive sin. And just like President Bush warned, if we do not stand against terrorists — whether they be religious terrorists or intestinal terrorists — we are not serving America or God. We are serving Satan.
So let’s stop gay marriage and put Rick Santorum in office. We dodged the bullet this time, but next time God may let his angels carry out his orders and wipe many of us out.
But as we can see in this image at the right, God
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
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4:37 pm
God of us all, may we come quickly to Thee, when we are in need of protection and sympathy. Guard this nation against that sorrow that is drawn from the outer Heavens to this place. May You not allow the foretelling of destruction to be realized, but with strength and courage may we find happiness in Thy daily will, as humble servants of Your love. Amen!
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4:41 pm
Bless you Brother Plimpton. God be with you.
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7:49 am
Sinful Barnyard Stuart: The Dr. impersonator’s middle name makes you wet, doesn’t it?? Reminds you of your swine boyfriend, the BOAR HOG….That curly little tail makes your little pig shit covered pecker tingle….OH, the SHAME of it all….Get on your sinful knees (No, not to fuck you sty mate) and pray to your INVISIBLE SPACE DADDY for redemption from your wicked, sinful barnyard, rapper ways before the world is destroyed by the gay induced solar flares….A-FUCKIN’-MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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5:03 pm
Amen! Praise and Glory! Forever and ever!
I do hope Mr. Santorum is blessed with the nomination. We need his kind of leadership after these dark days.
“But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;” 1 Corinthians 1:27
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6:15 am
Oh mighty nonexistent Satan…..Please, oh please, Take this evil bastard Dr. impersonator into the flames of fictional HELL and fry his asinine BACON (CRISPY PLEASE)….. A-FUCKIN’-MEN!!
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4:59 pm
That solar flare was practically harmless. It wasn’t going to melt anything. And homosexuals aren’t the blame for this random flare. We get flares all the time. And that green lights are the aura borealis.
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5:49 pm
I have extensive experience counseling former homosexuals and many experienced something dramatic that shook them loose from the lifestyle. If a solar explosion leads to such insight, than we can only take it as a sign of His love. Many homosexuals kill themselves slowly through drugs and sexual activities that are traumatic and disease-spreading. Have you ever hear of anal trauma? Did you know that the average homosexual has between 20 and 200 sexual partners A YEAR. The normal person has 8 partners during their ENTIRE lifetime.
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6:13 pm
Why are talking as if only homosexuals do this? You are only looking at a small group of people. Many PEOPLE kill themselves slowly through drugs and sexual activities that are traumatic and disease spreading. Not just homosexuals. Look at the problems as a whole, don’t just select one small group.
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6:28 pm
I can tell you that I have seen firsthand the harm that homosexuality causes. It should not be dismissed so easily. When people support and legalize bad behavior, it only gets worse for the individual suffering in this way. I would rather not argue with you about this but I wish you would just learn a few things about pathology, addiction and sexual impotence first.
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6:30 pm
And I have seen firsthand of the harm that straight people cause. Or Mormons. Or Christians. Or anyone. Them wanting to marry is not bad behavior.
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1:05 am
Arthur, it’s hard to take you seriously when your middle name is Bacon.
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1:11 am
Making fun of people’s names. Very mature.
Then again, you do play with pony dolls.
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1:15 am
What proof do you have that I play with pony dolls? And if somebody was making a serious statement, but there middle name was a food that wasn’t fancy, would you take them seriously? I’m not making fun of his name, if I was, I would say “hahaha your name is bacon your dumb!” or something.
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1:52 am
Bacon is a proud name whose bearers have distinguished themselves in many fields over many centuries, from Sir Francis to dear old Jim.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bacon_(surname)
I can’t take you seriously because your name means “ass” in America and “vagina” in Britain, Ireland, Australia and New Zealand.
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2:02 am
No. Herbert Fany doesn’t mean ass and vagina in those countries. It means Herbert Fany. It’s like me saying your name means “retarded pony fucker” in Spanish, English, and Japanese. It makes no sense if you say “it means so and so in America”
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2:16 am
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/fanny
Dumbass.
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8:03 pm
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fanny
Fanny means vulva in England English. In American English, it menas Fanny, dumbass.
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10:06 pm
Dr. Plimpton, those facts are startling but sadly so true for those choosing that lifestyle. I’d like to stress another important stat here, in addition to the gay bowel diseases you’ve eloquently laid out.
For every one gay, four children are abducted/molested. Just let that sink in. As a society, we should do all we can to protect our children and prevent people from being gay.
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11:07 pm
ok what the hell, gays and abduction/molestetions have nothing in common. pedophiles with abduction/molestetions would have been a better comparison.
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11:36 pm
Sorry, the study stated that for every one gay, 4 children get abused. You cannot change the facts to shelter your delusional reality.
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1:08 am
This is not a fact. And gay people do not relate to molestation/abuse in any way. It’s like me saying “for every republican born 5 people with mental retardation are born.”
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3:22 am
Everyone knows that people who live a morally debased homosexual lifestyle are more inclined to fiddle with a child’s private areas.
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7:04 am
There was actually a study done on it. Again, for every 1 gays, four children are harmed. It’s science, sorry if you don’t like it but we in the GOP like a little thing called scientific facts.
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10:37 am
Julian, if thats true, then how come most child molesters are males molesting females? That doesn’t sound gay to me. Sounds disgusting and, pedophilac but not gay.
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10:41 am
Adam Nelson, you say that for every 1 gay person born, 4 children are harmed. You never said that gay people do this. That isn’t science, thats made up bullshit that somebody who believes in religious views more than science.
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7:30 pm
Adam, mind producing this study?
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6:22 am
You have extensive experience in sucking the man juice out of their peckers!! I would agree that you are an expert in ANAL TRAUMA and washing blood out of your drawers!!
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7:41 pm
I cut my finger last night and when I woke up this morning my sheets were all covered in dried blood. At first I thought maybe I had had a seizure or something. It’s moments like that that really get you to think! Life really is too short to waste it on sin.
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7:52 pm
How did you cut it to cause that much blood? Sounds painful and a frightening sight in the morning.
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6:31 am
Stevie’s boyfriend ripped his ass open stroking his colon, hence the bloody sheets of SIN!!
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8:25 pm
I was having a bad day until I laid my eyes upon this angel. Look at how peaceful her figure is as she shields us from solar flares. How beautiful it will be when we all get to have our angelic forms and fellowship in heaven.
Thank you, Rick Santorum, for praying for us in our hour of need and getting this ANGEL to appear. It warms my heart to know God still has mercy on us sinners, even the gays.
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1:12 am
Yes, because 1 person praying will DEFINITELY cause some non-existant deity to stop a flare that won’t do anything. And that’s not an angel. Thats aura borealis. And even if there WAS such a thing as angels, how do you know thats what they look like. For all you know, they can have a turtle shell for a body, and goat head, eagle talons for hands, and hoofs for legs.
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1:15 am
“they can have a turtle shell for a body, and goat head, eagle talons for hands, and hoofs for legs.”
That sounds very much like a demon to me.
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1:18 am
But you still don’t know what a demon looks like. A demon could like that picture of the outlined aura borealis at the top if demons existed.
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1:47 am
You play with pony dolls.
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2:05 am
Oh, great comeback. Couldn’t think of anything else to say that relates to this so you lie about me playing with toys to make yourself seem right even though you haven’t made an intellectual reply. I reiterate. What proof do you have that I play with pony dolls? You don’t even know where I live.
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2:27 am
“you haven’t made an intellectual reply”
It’s not a terribly intellectual conversation. It never is with you.
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3:28 am
What would you expect from someone who takes their name from a person’s backside region?
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3:36 am
Or their gynecological region!
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10:35 am
Julian, the “backside” word your thinking of is Fanny. Exbrony, Herbert means Herbert, not vagina. And you have still yet to explain how you know I play with pony dolls. You only think conversations with me are unintellectual because I prove you wrong. The only ones you think are intellectual are the ones where you win.
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10:52 am
Herbert, “Fanny” is the word that means “vagina”, which you would have learned had you had the curiosity or the basic integrity to click through to the link that I posted above.
Again, I would not have brought this up had you not been making fun of other people’s names.
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8:06 pm
You make fun of my name (which is just my user name, not my actual name) for making fun of someone else’s name? This makes sense to you? And “Fanny” (Two N’s) means Buttocks in American English, and Vulva in England English. “Fany” (One N) isn’t a word.
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7:32 pm
Adam, did you ever read the bible? You and your moron friends would know that angels look NOTHING like the drawings.
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1:51 am
Just add angel wings to that fine woman and you’ve got an angel.
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2:17 am
Maybe in your mind, but the biblical definition of an angel is extremely horrifying. Do rings of eyes or creatures that consist of nothing but wings sound familiar? How about that delightful cherub, do you know what it’s originally like? Looks more like a Chimera from Greek mythology than a baby-like figure with wings and a bow.
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12:19 pm
Suck my dick you homophobic hypocritical bastards.
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10:30 pm
Wish I had a computer with MS paint right now I wanna draw like a 3 year old.
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1:57 am
I guess you will just have to settle for writing like a three year old ..
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2:02 pm
Rick Santorum saved us!
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