• Rick Santorum Leads National Prayer to Protect Earth from Solar Flares 2012 Wrath for Gays

    March 9, 2012 3:12 pm 49 comments
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  • In the image above, we can see the Angel of Wrath using his sword to whip out a mighty rush of solar winds for Earth!  The timer had gone off and God was ready to blow a mighty gust of damnation up the tailpipes of every gay on Earth and anyone caught in the crossfire!  But the prayers of the righteous availeth much, Rick Santorum prayed this wrath down and gays are getting on more chance.

    Yet moments later

    Gays nearly caused Solar Flare Storms 2012, but Rick Santorum prayed and caused this angel to appear over Iceland to protect Earth.

    Wichita, KS  - On the campaign trail, Rick Santorum prays to spare all humanity from solar flares 2012, including gays.

    Earth has survived its most terrifying moment since a terrorist tried to harm President George W. Bush with shoe missiles.  In our hour of judgment, it was the prayers of a righteous man who saved us all.  Every person on Earth, today you owe Rick Santorum a deep thank you.

    To imagine God’s anger today, just imagine that you own a dog or even a cat.  You just cleaned your nice home, creating a pristine place of entertainment and comfort.  You are inviting your colleagues over to fellowship when your dog comes in, taking a massive kaisse sheisse on the floor!  Or maybe it is your cat, pulling an R. Kelly tinkle time all over the place!

    The offensive anger and turning of the nose you’d have while trying to clean it does not compare to how angry God gets every time he smells gay fornication!  He created the intestines so that nutrients may be soaked into the body and wastes expelled!  He created the rectal crevice so that we can hold it when on a long trip and need to go number 2!  BUT, gays are turning that all around.

    They love to bend over and grab their ankles, tramping the word of God with their sassfrashing feet as they play pin the Satan donkey scepter in the stink hole.  God already nuked Sodom and Gomorrah for having gay men.  God exploded Mount Vesuvius and wiped out half Italy because the men were gay.  But now, with gay marriage being allowed, it made him so angry that he was going to strike us down with a solar storm.

    We were all spared from being seared with the gays, however, because of one man.  Rick Santorum.

    As the hour of judgement struck and the Sun blew out a massive flame of damnation, Rick Santorum bent his head down in prayer.  “Lord, please give us more time.  Please give these people time to elect me to office and overturn all gay marriage.  Please let us have a chance to make everyone realize why being gay is a bad choice and way having a nuclear family is serving you.   I love you, God, and these people can too.  Even the gays. ”  – Rick Santorum, praying God’s gay wrath away.

    Only moments after this prayer, Icelandic scientists were issued a warning from the National Weather Service.  A massive flame was t-20 seconds from striking them and melting all the glaciers there.  God was going to flood them with massive ice that washed into their lungs and intestines, freezing again and expanding in the body, ripping them apart and not healing their hypothermia until they reached sublimination in the furnaces of hell!

    But we can see in the image at the right, God sends an angel.  Look at her face and gown, a light ethereal gray color.  Her greenish white wings flaps heavenly winds, gently brushing away the 5,000,000,000,000 degree kelvin Fahrenheit heat that was going to melt straight though all those glaciers you see.

    Isn’t God good?

    God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good.  This miraculous picture should bring tears to your eyes as it does mine.  Even when we falter and transgress against the heavenly father, we can see he protects us from damnation.  Even when the gays are to blame and we are not helping them heal themselves, he postphones our punishment so we can get it right and not die as guilty due to being sin enablers.

    Yes, we are guilty my friends.  We are guilty of allowing gays to terrorize each other’s backsides with liquid IEDs of explosive sin.  And just like President Bush warned, if we do not stand against terrorists — whether they be religious terrorists or intestinal terrorists — we are not serving America or God.  We are serving Satan.

    So let’s stop gay marriage and put Rick Santorum in office.  We dodged the bullet this time, but next time God may let his angels carry out his orders and wipe many of us out.

     

     

    But as we can see in this image at the right, God

     

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    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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