Shock – ABC Launches GCB TV Show To Mock ChristWire (Good Christian B*tches TV Critic Review)

The liberals over at ABC have declared war on the women of ChristWire.   The liberal media moguls have crafted a new show called GCB TV show, based off the very women who power this community.  They are twisting our words and our journalists into some atheist perception of what goes on in our homes on a day to day basis.  This blasphemy is titled “Good Christian B*tches”.

Carlene Cockburn, the sultry 'anti-Blanche Beecham' of the series. This character embroils the brains and beauty of Blanche but spits out nothing but characterized atheist hate of Christianity and one of God's finest women.

The show’s premise is it shows what it is like to be the wives and women behind ChristWire for a day.  They try to make it seem like the world of holiness of this powerful community is one of scandal, self-important husbands whose money makes them out of touch with decency and reality and most shockingly, fornication and secret lesbianism.

 From the coarse writing and dialogue, you can tell much of the show is penned by the comments of ChristWire commentator Claire herself.

 The running gag of the show is calling Christian women a “Queen B*tch”.  As we all here now, liberal Claire and her cronies literally moan and squirm, twittepating themselves with ecstasy whenever they have a chance to use cuss words such as “B word” to refer to our holy journalists.

As such, the two main characters of the show — Amanda Vaughn (a portrayal of Sandra O’Connor) and Carlene Cockburn (a very nasty portrayal of our Blanche Beecham) are refered to us “Queen Bitchams”, a term invented by the commentator Claire.

 In the series opener, Vaughn’s character lives in the Christian city of Highland Park, Texas.  Her husband is a billionaire who dies in a car crash while being snogged by his mistress.  The husband, though only briefly seen, bore strong resemblance to the Christian Weekly’s top ten man of the year Derek Van Buren.

The show is very confusing to watch, outside the opening story.  It seems all the women on the show are friends from high school, but their social circumstances have changed.  They all want to be the “Queen B*tch” of their social circle and try to balance out living a good life with stabbing each other in the back.  Then there are scenes that imply drug use, toddler and tiara mother bickerings and releases of lesbian frustration.

The men on the show are also based on some of our members.

The series follows Amanda Vaughn (Leslie Bibb), former high-school “Queen Bitch,” a recently widowed mother of two, who returns to her hometown of Highland Park, Texas, an enclave of Dallas. Formerly rich, Amanda lost everything when her husband was exposed as stealing billions of dollars from investors and died in a car crash with his mistress. She meets the former schoolmates she used to mock: Carlene Cockburn (Kristin Chenoweth), the new “Queen Bitch,”; Sharon Peacham (Jennifer Aspen), who was beautiful in high school and is now heavy and insecure and does the bulk of Carlene’s bidding; glamorous gossip queen Cricket Caruth-Reilly (Miriam Shor), whose husband, Blake (Mark Deklin), is gay; and Heather Cruz (Marisol Nichols), a powerful Dallas real-estate agent.^[5]

Amanda and her teenage children move in with her 50-something mother Gigi Stopper (Annie Potts), who tries to influence Amanda’s parenting and style choices, and gives her advice about strategic maneuvering among these women. While Amanda has grown considerably since high school and wants to move on with her life, Carlene and the others still resent Amanda. They don’t believe she’s changed and are out to drive her away.  From Wikipedia: 

• Leslie Bibb as Amanda Vaughn, the culturally hip yet socially awkward mother of the series.  
• Jennifer Aspen as Sharon Peacham, former beauty queen, now centered on cooking meals for her husband and children. She has gained weight and reluctantly allows herself to be pushed around by Carlene.
• Marisol Nichols as Heather Cruz, single but successful realtor and a friend of Carlene. She is the only one of the GCBs who accepts Amanda’s apologies and befriends her.
• Miriam Shor as Cricket Caruth-Reilly, a strong-willed business woman and another one of Carlene’s friends/minions. She does her best to try and prevent Amanda from getting a job.
• David James Elliott as Ripp Cockburn, Carlene’s husband, the only one of the local men who seems indifferent to Amanda. He indicates that he and Amanda’s late husband have a past.
• Mark Deklin as Blake Reilly, Cricket’s husband who is secretly gay and in love with his ranch foreman. He, like most of the men in Dallas, is friendly with Amanda, though clearly for different reasons.
• Brad Beyer as Zack Peacham, Sharon’s lecherous, car-dealership husband who secretly loves Amanda. He kisses her against her wishes, Carlene spying it and believing Amanda encouraged it.
• Annie Potts as Gigi Stopper, Amanda’s prudish, self-righteous, Christian mother and Dallas socialite. Despite Amanda’s claims of wanting to live a normal life, Gigi pushes her to be part of Dallas high society.
• Kristin Chenoweth as Carlene Cockburn, the main antagonist of the series. A former “nerd girl” who was a frequent target of Amanda’s bullying and teasing in high school due to her short height and ugly appearance, but after several plastic surgery procedures, is now extremely good looking and the new leader of the GCBs. While she claims to be a good Christian, she is judgmental of Amanda, refusing to accept her apology of past mistreatment and abuse or that Amanda is a better person now, and works behind the scenes to try to drive Amanda out of town, or possibly worse. She is also a plastic surgery addict and, as Amanda reveals in church, the owner of a local Hooters-like bar.
• Tyler Jacob Moore as Pastor John Tudor  ^{(Jack Gold, mixed with a bit of Reverend Figs and Higgens)}

Promotional image for GCB TV Show

All in all, this show is very confusing. I’m still not sure what the plots are supposed to be besides mocking Christians and trying to make lesbianism look very shimmering and fun. I do not like how this show is calling names of our women and will be writing an angry letter to the show, demanding an interview and an apology.

Christian Moral Rating: GCB TV SHOW
S (Sinister) for (lesbian tongue flicking, mocking professional journalists, atheists twisting Christianity into stereotypes to promote their sick agenda, being a children’s show, snarky cattiness, making Christian men look like hidden homosexuals, money mongerers and schemers, left wing brainwash media, cussing)