Sodomy leather men and shrieking drag queens won’t be welcome at the 2014 Olympic Games in Sochi, Russia due to an important ruling issued this week. Subversive activists had hoped to impose a flashy gay theme on the winter games, including constructing a “Pride House.” Religious scholars noted that such a building would likely include an extravagant disco and secret sexual bear dungeon, common elements of the homosexual subculture.
Advocates of extremist sexuality first attempted to register their lifestyle as a NGO (non-governmental organization) as had been done in Vancouver during the 2010 Olympics. That’s when the Soviet Ministry of Justice stepped in to refuse the necessary permits. Judge Svetlana Mordovina reaffirmed this decision and went even further, brilliantly stating:
“[The radical homosexual] movement leads to propaganda of non-traditional sexual orientation which can undermine the security of the Russian society and the state, provoke social-religious hatred, which is the feature of the extremist character of the activity. Moreover it can undermine the sovereignty and the territorial integrity of the Russian Federation due to the decrease of Russia’s population. Such aims as creating an understanding of the necessity to fight against homophobia and the creation of positive attitudes towards LGBT sportsmen contradicts with the basics of public morality because they are directed towards the increase of the number of citizens of sexual minorities which breaches the understanding of good and evil, good and bad, vice and virtue.”
GayRussia, a hardcore homosexual organization that is fighting for so-called “same-sex equality” has vowed to appeal the decision to the International Olympic Committee, and has even threatened to “melt the polar ice caps” if they do not get what they want. Ironically, numerous scholars and scientific journalists have drawn causal relations between the homosexual lifestyle and catastrophic weather events. It has become a widely accepted truth in Evangelical circles that much of the arctic ice decay is directly correlated to the popularization of sodomy and other non-traditional intercourse activities.
Whether the melting of the ice caps is a punishment from God for liberal immorality, or if it’s gay sexuality which itself heats the region up remains to be seen. The one thing that is patently obvious is that bestial gay sex is truly not worth the risk. While the impoverished, crime-ridden oligarchy of Russia has had many problems in the past, Judge Mordovina’s move this week will reassure Christians in America who are working towards the same abolition of same-sex activity. Could this common enemy of homosexuality be the basis for a new international relationship? Communism and nuclear armament continue to be vital Soviet problems that the United States needs to resolve, but there just might be some sunshine in Vladimir Putin’s repressive dictatorship after all.