The motives of the Emosexual Klan are no enigma. Through the use of dark necromancy and blood rituals, they attempt to disuade our young from Christ and draw them to Satan, flies to a dead morsel. Since the great and Christian United States is the only truly pure remaining nation, it may come as no surprise that the sinful and morally deprived terrorist nation of Iraq faces a similar threat. However they have stood up and ended the threat of the emos though barbaric and unsurprising means characteristic of their usual nature.
Having emos lose in Iraq would have been akin to letting a flu ridden child visit and soon infect your annoying and undevout neighbors. Something that may seem bad, but would ultimately cause good, serving to distract their violent and oppressive impulses. Would it not be great to have the pseudo-faith of the terrorists shattered?
The problem is that we, as a grand country of Christ, have not dealt with this issue. Clearly we are no terrorists. But we need to preach Jesus and scold these sinners. If Iraq can end the emo threat, we need to follow! Combined with the issues of illegal Mexicans, declining morals, and cats, our enemies will soon have much to anticipate in the weakening of Christianity in our country. As we know, we cannot survive without Christ.