• The True Christian’s Guide to The Apocalypse.

    March 16, 2012 5:54 pm 42 comments
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    Coat of God

    If you are a True Christian, you will not need this guide. As you are already in God’s Favor, and will not suffer his wrath when he rains fire to  purge the world of the Homogay menace. I have been watching this website for a long time, and it has allowed for me to realize that on the road we’re going on, with all the Gay on the television airlines and the ‘bronie’ plague tainting the minds of our youth, who could easily be staying at home, learning the word of God from the Holy Book… It has allowed for me to see the light that God is going to rain fire down on the sinners, and bringing the True Christian’s up to Heaven. 

    1. If you have ever looked at another man and had a thought about his pickle, you should hide in your basement and Pray, bible clutched to your chest as if you were hugging Jesus’s love…
    2. If you aren’t a man and have had a thought about touching a man’s dingle, you should just kill yourself immediately, as you are doomed anyway… So you might as well end it painlessly before God melts the skin off of your bones in misery.
    3. Horde your family in the basement and have them each read their scriptures, if the fire’s of God’s wrath hasn’t touched your home… Then you are doing just fine, and your family shall see the light of the next day.
    4. If the homogays somehow manage to spread a disease that causes the sinners and other hedonists to walk around and eat others, (also known as Zomboys)… Being the true American you should be, bring out your guns and strike down the hedonists…

    I hope this guide has helped those who haven’t seen the light. I am Coat of God, (not really though, but my last name is Coat) and I bless you all…

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    About The Author
    Coat of God I have been a God-fearing boy since I was a young man... And now I have come to spread the Love of God to yourself

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