The True Christian’s Guide to The Apocalypse.
If you are a True Christian, you will not need this guide. As you are already in God’s Favor, and will not suffer his wrath when he rains fire to purge the world of the Homogay menace. I have been watching this website for a long time, and it has allowed for me to realize that on the road we’re going on, with all the Gay on the television airlines and the ‘bronie’ plague tainting the minds of our youth, who could easily be staying at home, learning the word of God from the Holy Book… It has allowed for me to see the light that God is going to rain fire down on the sinners, and bringing the True Christian’s up to Heaven.
- If you have ever looked at another man and had a thought about his pickle, you should hide in your basement and Pray, bible clutched to your chest as if you were hugging Jesus’s love…
- If you aren’t a man and have had a thought about touching a man’s dingle, you should just kill yourself immediately, as you are doomed anyway… So you might as well end it painlessly before God melts the skin off of your bones in misery.
- Horde your family in the basement and have them each read their scriptures, if the fire’s of God’s wrath hasn’t touched your home… Then you are doing just fine, and your family shall see the light of the next day.
- If the homogays somehow manage to spread a disease that causes the sinners and other hedonists to walk around and eat others, (also known as Zomboys)… Being the true American you should be, bring out your guns and strike down the hedonists…
I hope this guide has helped those who haven’t seen the light. I am Coat of God, (not really though, but my last name is Coat) and I bless you all…
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Coat of God
I have been a God-fearing boy since I was a young man... And now I have come to spread the Love of God to yourself
9:15 pm
I believe that all the traumatic events happening around the world are happening now for a reason. Many theologians note that the Bible End Times prophecy has been completely fulfilled, all the elements are there. I pray it happens because I am excited to see Jesus Christ return to save us all. I just pray that others understand what this fateful event means. And I pray that our readers take your helpful guidance into account as the face the plagues and destruction that will surely follow. It will be horrific, but remember Jesus does love you and you will survive if you wish to! God bless.
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11:26 am
No. You are wrong. The only way to get to heaven is to be born and bread in AMERICA. The home of the free and land of the brave, not some pansy-ass country like England. God loves all who are American, and so do I.
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9:17 pm
Thankyou for those valuable tips. As I am already a 100% true white American Christian, I have no need of this advice. But I have coworkers who I suspect of being homogays, liberals and atheists (sometimes all three!). I will pass these tips on to those sinners so that they may be saved.
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11:34 pm
Hey billybob why you change your image after what i said. Guess what i said was true.
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12:01 am
No, just thought I’d honor one of America’s greatest Presidents, and a true American conservative who made us all proud….unlike the Kenyan born, Communist Muslim imposter we have illegally passing himself as President now.
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12:38 am
Why you vote for him then?
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12:55 am
I most certainly did NOT vote for that Muslim half black, half Arab Obama. My vote went to decorated war hero John McCain and the beautiful, intelligent Sarah Palin.
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3:48 am
You said Obama is “illegally” president care to prove
and doN,t come saying : “his birth certificate” McCain would have the same issue as well
as for Vote well it’s seems a lot of american were pissed off at Bush
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9:43 pm
Deep down, there’s nothing that an atheist loves more than to have the likes of us proselytizing to them, particularly in a public space. It shames them into admitting that they’ve been ignoring God’s eternal love. They might not admit to it right away, while you’re standing there, but they will later. Or they will enter the flaming pits of Hell while we True Christians have a jolly old laugh.
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11:59 pm
I can relate.
When I was sharing spiritual witness in my city’s downtown area to the local youths, one dropped his already low-hanging trousers and turned his buttocks to me and asked that I spank his bare rump. His friends sure had a good laugh until the police came by and pummeled them into a bloody heap.
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12:04 am
He must have been one of those black hip hopping gangbangers, these types mock everything pure and decent about America and Christianity. The police were definitely correct to give them a thrashing.
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12:32 am
I couldn’t tell what minority they were. They had on those dewrags things before the blood splatter made it unsafe to stay around.
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11:38 pm
New year time for another Apocalypse date you all figger out a few yet? I hear apirl 17, june 31 and nov 23 are all good ones.
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12:22 am
You mock God because of the emptiness in your soul. Satan and drugs will never fill it, my wayward friend. You must repent to save yourself from a burning lake of fire.
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12:36 am
How is asking for a date mocking? Does the people on this site not even read before posting..oh wait what am i saying we all know they don’t.
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8:42 pm
No answer? Happens a lot now a day when you can’t prove anything or use it.
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10:58 pm
It’s not like that at all but you can believe what you want in your leftist dreamworld. I am just growing so weary of battling you atheists all the time that I have to take some time to be with my family and rest my mind from the knowledge that so many now live in their own private hells.
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3:49 am
Good thing I started to freeze mya ss over here a Good “lake of fire” would be most welcome
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2:11 am
What is “mya ss”? Another one of your newfangled emogay liberal slang terms? Will you left-wing people please learn proper English? Please and thank you. Praise Jesus!
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10:55 am
I believe mya ss is a gay term that this sodomite worships and does nightly with his many boyfriends.
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4:35 am
I believe that emosexual is a member of the “Mayan SS,” a fascist Latino youth gang.
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3:13 pm
There’s not such thing as June 31st XD
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11:36 am
zombies not zomboys fucking moron
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11:57 pm
With you liberal atheist homogays having so many different slang terms and vulgarities that have mangled our English language, it is hard for decent patriotic Christians to keep up with all the slang changes you homogays make on a regular basis. One day it “neat” and cool” and “daddy-o” and a few days after that it’s “emo” and “furries” and “gangstas”. What have you liberal homogays done to our language? People never spoke in such a crude manner in the age of American heroes like Ronald Reagan, John Wayne and Charleton Heston.
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3:19 pm
American English is nothing but slang in the first place. If you want good ol’ Proper and respectful English then go to the United Kingdom. Our English is nothing but slang, while the UK’s isn’t.
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3:28 pm
Showing yet again how ignorant you are emosexual who’s name is too sinful to type.
The original English was closer to how us Americans speak, during the British empire they decided that it was “upper crust” to speak with such a choppy accent, eventually it spread throughout the small island.
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4:55 am
Hello again, Reverend, my dear friend in God.
It’s not only tough to understand these emosexual punks when they speak at an acceptable volume but I find that drugs and basic laziness makes these punks mumble incoherently. I put my hand to my ear to listen and I get a middle finger from these disrespectful bums.
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10:56 am
Thank you Coat of God! This very informational article has shown me the truth of the matter. These evil hedonists, the ones you called “Zomboys”, are a true threat to our great country America and Christians all over. I will make sure to board up my windows and gather my guns!
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10:58 am
Very good brother, you seem to understand the true Christian lesson behind this article, and may you find salvation and let Jesus guide you through the living dead that has become of the Liberal thinkers of this country.
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2:12 pm
I cant help but note that your picture features two men in the act of giving each other a handjob, which is known by the homogays as “doublepounding” Why would you have such a vulgar image as the coat of god? Do not think god supports you and your chocolate hole feasting boyfriend that you have back at your 1 bedroom apartment.
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10:53 am
I cannot believe that you would spread such slanderous words about my profile picture! My picture is clearly two gentlemen of the holy christian flock going arm in arm and treating others with respect, as clearly you cannot my friend.
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12:58 pm
You have a picture of Satan torturing a poor little tiger.
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10:58 am
Ima get my gun an shoot some mother fuckas. I hope yer ready for the apocalypse you dum sons of bitch homogays. I will track all them zomboys down and rip there damn laranax out of there dickchute throats!
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11:00 am
I whole-heartily agree, my friend! I too believe that we should hunt down the homogays, and make sure they dont spread their sodomite ways around!
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3:09 pm
Why are you using Tom’s, from MySpace, picture? Creepy much?
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3:10 pm
Why are you using Tom’s, from MySpace, picture?
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1:52 pm
How do yo that isn’t indeed, Tom from MySpace or maybe a twin brother? You liberals and left-wingers are so presumptuous.
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4:59 pm
Um I’m not a liberal, nor am I a crazed Democrat like you happen to be a crazed Republican…
For the simple fact that Tom hardly goes onto his MySpace and I doubt he has a twin brother (twins are a rarity, mainly identical ones at that).
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3:47 pm
Why are you using myspace/facebook tom’s pic?!
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1:32 pm
You are using a picture of an emogay lesbian. Yourself I presume? I mean you are Lucifer’s lesbian as I once wrote before.
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2:59 pm
“If you are a True Christian, you will not need this guide”
Thank you, you saved me some time.
God Bless. Please write again something I can read.
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1:09 pm
I so very much agree.
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