• The Walking Dead Season 2 Finale Episode 13 Spoilers and Review Online Now (Spoilers S2E13)

    March 14, 2012 8:22 am 23 comments
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  • The Walking Dead is a made-for-tv children’s ‘zombie drama‘ that airs on AMC.  What’s even more disturbing than the fact that this show is meant to ‘entertain’ children with zombies who sodomize Christian ministers and magic Asian swordstresses who bludgeon the resurrected, is that it’s made and produced by atheists.

    In last week’s episode, we saw the atheists made a point about persecuting Christians when the series minister, Dale, tried to convince everyone ‘thou shalt not kill’, and was in turn intestinally ravaged by an obviously homosexual zombie.  The insults with that episode were a 2fer, but my friends, the spoilers and review of this next episode will live your blood boiling.

    Dale right before being forced to copulate with a zombie stripper outside Atlanta

    The Walking Dead Season 2 Episode 13 finale starts off in shocking fashion, styled much like the trite flashback scenes popularized by ABC’s Lost.

    In the instances of the finale, viewers are instantly treated to seeing a visibly exhausted Dale too weak to defend his moral code of ethics.

    What appears to be a zombie stripper has gotten the best of him, ripping her nails deep into his chest and she slowly strips off her panties to furiously rub her undead gardens of damnation upon his stiffened body.

    Dale moans and screams in horror, not wanting to seed the zombie who only has an appetite for wanton carnality.  Other zombie strippers look on in this awkward, forced scene.  After an intense 30 seconds of zombie groans and Dale doing his best to resist the pulsing flesh weasle of the zombie, he gives in to his urges and spills humanity into the bosom of the female monster.  As quickly as the scene came upon viewers, the zombie strippers run off and leave a visibly scarred and emotional Dale staggering and scratching, legs quivering as he desperately runs to his infamous RV.

    Queue the opening title sequence, the ride only gets bumpier from here.

    After this flashback scene, we’re taken back to Carl and Rick sitting in an open pasture.  Rick explains to Carl that his mother is a whore who slept with Shane, so therefore he had to stab Shane in the belly.  Carl starts to cry uncontrollably and Rick holds his head down in shame as Shane’s words echo on, “You’ve got a weak son.”

    Rick’s grief soon turns to horror as he hears an all-too-familiar sound:  a wild orchestra crescendo heralding the arrival of zombies.  Terrified, Carl sets off like a jack rabbit with Rick right behind him.  All seems inevitable:  the zombies are faster than others in the past and make quick work on closing in on the father-son tandem.  Rick soon overtakes his son and tells him to ‘hurry up’.

    Carl naturally falls over and begs his dad to come back and carry him.  Rick does not hestitate, but then in one of the most shocking moments in TV history, Carl pulls out Daryl’s gun and shoots Rick in the kneecap.  This blatant show of fatherly disrespect plays deep into the atheist’s creed of disrespecting the natural pecking order of a nuclear family:  father, grandfather, children and wife.

    As chaos unfolds in the field, the scene is no better in the farmhouse.  A nervous Lori is revealed to still be sleeping around, this time franitically pulling up her jeans as she runs from T-dog’s sleeping area.  T-dog looks confused and upset, like a naive college boy who was just preyed upon by a lusty cougar.  Lori realizes that Carl is missing just when Glenn and Daryl walk through the door to the home.

    Glenn and Daryl reveal that Shane murdered the prisoner and was likely trying to set Rick up.  They also say about 1,000 zombies are quickly closing in.  Lori collapses with guilt as T-dog begins to do menial labor, uttering his first line of the finale:  “We f*cked”.  T-dog is used to sprinkle black cussing into the plot, to make it seem ‘racier’ for all the rebel college-aged audience.  Herschel begins to pass out guns and tells everyone, ‘Get ready, the final fight is happening’.

    Meanwhile, zombies are clawing and biting at Rick as he struggles to his feet.  Rick manages to overcome the pain of a blown kneecap.  He hops on one leg and finally gives Carl a swift rap on the backside.  “Run!”  Carl runs behind the hopping Rick, who sees a barn and goes to it to make his last stand.  Once inside the barn, Rick asks Carl why he shot him in the knee.  “I wanted to be like Shane, I miss him.”  Rick grits his teeth and throws gasoline all over the place in a chaotic scene of anger.

    Zombies instantly catch up to Rick and Carl, shaking the barn and taking it down pretty fast.  Rick pulls a canteen from his back pocket.  Carl asks, “What is that?”  Rick responds, “Boy, fetch me my spare uniform hidden in the chest over there.”  As Carl pulls out a spare Sherrif’s uniform from a musty crate, Rick drinks an unknown substance.  In this instance the audience can see a gaping wound in Rick’s abdomen, where a zombie bit him.  His knee is also smoldering from being shot by his own son.  After changing outfits and telling Carl to run to the farmhouse, Rick does the ultimate sacrifice and sets the barn ablaze, himself within.  But just as the flames begin to grow thick, an old Chevy busts through the barn.

    Jimmy and Herschel are in it.  Zombies manage to drag Jimmy out and eat him and Herschel is left unconscious from the impact.  It’s at this moment we see a scene of wild fires, torched zombies and searing flesh.  It’s at this moment, Rick’s big secret is first revealed:

    Somehow, Rick knew that he would turn into a zombie between the barn’s explosion and all the bites from the field. But somehow, Rick manages to keep his humanity. In his new zombie form, Rick is seen rescuing an unconscious and gritty Herschel.

    The battle is brutal.  Many characters die in slow sequences that are dramatically choreographed to music.  The survivors all take to their respective cars and flee the scene of chaos.  Rick carries Herschel into a car and drives away.   They all drive to the abandoned schoolhouse from earlier in the series.

    Crying and desperate, the survivors all hug each other.  Carl is reunited with his mother.  The group’s emotional release is soon met with confrontation and anger, as they debate on where they should flee.

    As they argue, one last car drives up to meet everyone.  They look and see the distance moonlight lighting a familiar sherrif’s hat and unform.   They all sigh relief as they know it is Rick.  Lori guiltily begins to run up in him, but her guilt switches to horror.  As she gets closer, she sees that Rick is a zombie.

    The stunned group quickly pulls guns, but Rick stands firm in his uniform and says to them, “You better not shoot the sheriff, I have no deputy.”

    No one understands how a walker can talk.  Rick then explains his secret, learned from Dale.  “Walkers are still humans.  If you only drink a bit of a fresh walker’s blood before you die, you have a chance of keeping your mind. Dale learned this fact in a strip joint outside Atlanta, we heard it again at the CDC.  If we want to live, we have to drink fresh walker’s blood as much as possible.”

    The group is horrified and angry to learn this fact, but even more shocked by the next fact.  “Dale thinks that walkers and humans can, well, you know.  They can have babies.”

    T-dog pulls his gun on Rick and says, “Bullsh*t!”

    At this moment, T-dog’s gun is instantly knocked from his hand by a metallic throwing device.   An Asian looking stripper zombie appears, but like Rick she seems to have a human mind.  She carries two swords and says, “I am Michonne.  The sheriff is right.  I carry Dale’s baby and I have walker blood in me.  This baby is the key to fixing us all.  You have to get me to the prison.  That is the only place we can all survive.”

    The group votes to trust Rick and his new sidekick, Michonne.  Togther, they take off north to the prison.  But little do they know, there is a pale fanged figure watching them from atop a barn.

    The Walking Dead:  Season 2 Episode 13 Finale – Christian TV Review

    Moral TV Rating:  S (Sinister) for … zombie prostitutes, fornication, black cussing, vampire blood rituals, making fun of resurrection, adultery promotion, premarital sindocking, betraying the father, unpunished wife, cheating death, evolution agenda

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