Tim Tebow Sent on Holy Mission to New York Jets, Will Save City from Homosexual Gayness
All last NFL football season, a young quarterback would turn towards the heaven before every game and say one prayer: “God, let the Denver Broncos win Superbowls.” That young, selfless quarterback is named Tim Tebow. Tebow is a saint, a friend to all and moreso than anything else, a professional Christian.
Atheists are using the entire situation in Denver to taunt Tim Tebow, saying that his being ousted by John Elway is the proof that God does not exist. What these loud-mouthed armchair captains fail to realize is something many others have missed: Peyton Manning’s being in Denver is the result of Tim Tebow’s prayers.
Tim Tebow denies fleshtempstresses on the beach, because he is a GODLY man.
Tim Tebow is young and has much work to do in other cities. He’s like a young, virile Jonah, brining the message to truth to various sodomite cities around the globe. Before Tebow stepped foot in Denver, the city was full of atheists and even worse, Mexican and dallyweed smokers. The drug market was rampant and the name “Mile High” comes from the mental status of all the jobless, snaggletoothed, backwoods mountain folks who smoke their drugs all day and then use Obamacare foodstamps to fill their hovels with food we buy for them. But Tebow, he showed them a new way of life.
People in Denver now have jobs. They are cracking down on homeless and illegals: they are not being so much hillbillies, taking baths and professing a Christian faith. Tebow brought style and class to the city, with his bulging, gym-earned physique and non-shame in spiking his hair in Godly perfection.
In all of this, however, it was not God’s plan to have Tebow win a championship. Just like in his college days, perhaps he will never know trule glory. Perhaps the burden of Tebow is to be that of Dan Marino. Many wonder if the holy hurler will be throwing passes down in Jacksonville or Miami. I doubt it.
Tebow may not be the most gifted quarterback, but he does have the most heart. The people of Denver need the excitement of a fading Manning to complete their turnover to a decent, confident city. If Denver can get its act fully together, they can help power the American economy. And it is a strong US economy that makes God happy, because a rich America is a well defended America. And it’s a well-defended America that destroys Nazis and communism.
So the next time you don’t have a Russian tank in your yard or don’t have to worry about Sieg heiling a moustachioed menace, you should say a little prayer of thanks for Tebow. I wish I were but a young baby, because I’d like to still be alive the day Tim Tebow is beatified as the saint of Sporstmanship Morality. The boy’s a class act and Denver, you owe him one. He knew by praying last year, it would end his time in Denver and bring in a Super Bowl calibre quarterback. But he made that sacrifice, so instead of badmouthing him, let’s give him the thanks he deserves.
Tim Tebow is being sent to New York because it is the new Sodomy Megalopolis of America. Just like Jonah to Ninevah, Tebow to New York will be a story retold for generations to come.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
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12:11 pm
Abe this was a good read about Tebow he is certainly inspirational to all! Thanks!!!
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5:33 pm
im surprised that christ wire didnt bag on football as much now that theres a christian on the field, now he prays in a circle on the field but its narrow minded if u ask me, think about it what if he was jewish? tebow is a good player but there is something called not pushing ur beliefs on others. i didnt like how they said he would save them from gays, my twin brother is gay and we live in colorodo, i havent seen him at my door step. hes not an angel hes a wannabee
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6:01 pm
he is practicing his personal beliefs not pushing them down people. Perhaps if your brother had someone stuff the words of Jesus down your brothers throat instead of someones filthy sin marinated sin snake then your brother may not be doomed to an eternity in hell.
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12:22 pm
Does the Women’s NCAA Basketball Tournament Highlight the fact that Women are Lesser People.
Elway is the biggest idiot in sports
What if Manning gets hurt, Elway was asked. What’s Plan B?
“Plan B?” Elway said, incredulous. “We don’t have a Plan B. We’re going with Plan A.”
Elway got Manning only because he was the only one willing to roll the dice and pay someone with 4 neck very recent neck surgeries, who hasn’t played in over a year, who sucks in cold weather, whose playoff record isn’t that hot, and was already on the decline over 90 million in guaranteed money.
The Broncos are now as hated as the Miami heat.
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5:16 pm
I live in Colorado…not too far from Denver even…Tim Tebow didn’t do anything…The city is the same as its always been. It isn’t a bad place like you think (thought) it is
“Denver, the city was full of atheists and even worse, Mexican and dallyweed smokers.”
Denver is full of MANY types of people.
“ The drug market was rampant and the name “Mile High” comes from the mental status of all…”
We don’t have a drug problem…Oh and it’s called the Mile High city because one part of the city is exactly a mile above sea level.
“jobless, snaggletoothed, backwoods mountain folks who smoke their drugs all day and then use Obamacare foodstamps to fill their hovels with food we buy for them.”
Have you been to Denver, the people aren’t like this.
“People in Denver now have jobs. ”
They’ve had jobs…Tebow didn’t do shit…
” They are cracking down on homeless and illegals:”
They were already working on the homeless problem…Not quite sure about the illegals though…
“ they are not being so much hillbillies, taking baths and professing a Christian faith.”
Hillbillies? Denver isnt full of hillbillies…and Denver is still filled to the brim with people of MANY different faiths.
“Tebow brought style and class to the city, with his bulging, gym-earned physique and non-shame in spiking his hair in Godly perfection.”
The only thing Tebow brought to Denver was yet another reason for Broncos fans to be annoying as hell…He didn’t change anything and he never will.
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5:56 pm
If anyone could save NYC, it’s our boy Tebow! Glory!
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10:53 pm
@ real mexican actually, tim tebow is a bigger idiot than michael chang and that saying something.
@ouroboros, very good points there. i personally like green bay and somewhat dallas, and i must say, tim tebow isn’t even a good quarterback. not as good as eli manning or peyton manning, that is
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9:51 am
Tebow is the modern day Lot. Praise Tim Tebow to save the depraved souls in NYC and when God smites modern day Sodom the sulfur will come from sewage & subways.
Televangelist Pat Robertson still supports Tim Tebow. Pat Robertson said any future injuries to Peyton Manning would be karma for the quarterback switch.
Godspeed Tim Tebow
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9:58 am
Look Tim Tebow has already hired a Gay stylist to help him blend in NYC.
Godspeed Tim Tebow
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9:04 pm
Tom Brady is still gona own T-blow just like he did last year both times.
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