• Tim Tebow Sent on Holy Mission to New York Jets, Will Save City from Homosexual Gayness

    March 21, 2012 11:24 am 10 comments

    All last NFL football season, a young quarterback would turn towards the heaven before every game and say one prayer:  “God, let the Denver Broncos win Superbowls.”  That young, selfless quarterback is named Tim Tebow.  Tebow is a saint, a friend to all and moreso than anything else, a professional Christian.

    Atheists are using the entire situation in Denver to taunt Tim Tebow, saying that his being ousted by John Elway is the proof that God does not exist.  What these loud-mouthed armchair captains fail to realize is something many others have missed:  Peyton Manning’s being in Denver is the result of Tim Tebow’s prayers.

    380925 320130171360228 117723038267610 947522 687941798 n Tim Tebow Denies Flesh Temptresses on the Beach

    Tim Tebow denies fleshtempstresses on the beach, because he is a GODLY man.

    Tim Tebow is young and has much work to do in other cities.  He’s like a young, virile Jonah, brining the message to truth to various sodomite cities around the globe.  Before Tebow stepped foot in Denver, the city was full of atheists and even worse, Mexican and dallyweed smokers.  The drug market was rampant and the name “Mile High” comes from the mental status of all the jobless, snaggletoothed, backwoods mountain folks who smoke their drugs all day and then use Obamacare foodstamps to fill their hovels with food we buy for them.  But Tebow, he showed them a new way of life.

    People in Denver now have jobs.  They are cracking down on homeless and illegals:  they are not being so much hillbillies, taking baths and professing a Christian faith.  Tebow brought style and class to the city, with his bulging, gym-earned physique and non-shame in spiking his hair in Godly perfection.

    In all of this, however, it was not God’s plan to have Tebow win a championship.  Just like in his college days, perhaps he will never know trule glory.  Perhaps the burden of Tebow is to be that of Dan Marino.  Many wonder if the holy hurler will be throwing passes down in Jacksonville or Miami.  I doubt it.

    Tebow may not be the most gifted quarterback, but he does have the most heart.  The people of Denver need the excitement of a fading Manning to complete their turnover to a decent, confident city.  If Denver can get its act fully together, they can help power the American economy.  And it is a strong US economy that makes God happy, because a rich America is a well defended America.  And it’s a well-defended America that destroys Nazis and communism.

    So the next time you don’t have a Russian tank in your yard or don’t have to worry about Sieg heiling a moustachioed menace, you should say a little prayer of thanks for Tebow.  I wish I were but a young baby, because I’d like to still be alive the day Tim Tebow is beatified as the saint of Sporstmanship Morality.  The boy’s a class act and Denver, you owe him one.  He knew by praying last year, it would end his time in Denver and bring in a Super Bowl calibre quarterback.  But he made that sacrifice, so instead of badmouthing him, let’s give him the thanks he deserves.

    Tim Tebow is being sent to New York because it is the new Sodomy Megalopolis of America.  Just like Jonah to Ninevah, Tebow to New York will be a story retold for generations to come.

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    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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