Two Hurtling Asteroids Give Earth a Close Shave, Gays Trying to Destroy NOM To Blame (Asteroid FP 35 and Asteroid FS 35)
- God powerfully grabs and slings Asteroid 2012 Da14 at Earth to remind everyone that if America allows all 50 states to allow gay’s marriage, he will smite us all with fire and cleanse the rotten smell of gayality with an internal bath that not even Kelvins can measure!
God is heated up and furious again, my friends. Baseball season is not even here yet but God’s spitting out fastballs so fast and furious, that not even a steroid-toking Sammy Sosa could lay his Cuban flesh bat on the pitch!
There is nothting more rotten to the nose of God than the smell of festering gayality, for it is WRITTEN:
Isaiah 65:5Â - Yet they say to each other, ‘Don’t come too close or you will defile me! I am holier than you!’ These people are a stench in my nostrils, an acrid smell that never goes away.
God is taking about the gays and their holier-than-thou liberal allies! They think they have the right to say I have no right to demand NO GAY MARRIAGE! If Bill Maher calls Sarah Palin a conche, they praise his name! But let good Rush Limbaugh call a flussy a slut, and they try to take away his first amendment rights!
Their must be nothing mustier to God’s nose than a self-righteous, gay marriage supporting democrat. Just think, God took all the time to create the world, so perfecly. He created within men the homonculous of life, to give rise to a child once incubated by a woman!
But we defile humanity!
Men slosh their DNAs together in bacterial laden intestinal sins, committing ham-fisted genocide while women dangle their sallies all over the place, rubbing their jezebel juice together until they squeal in Satanic release. If you were God, why would you not be so angry with your creation that you just create a giant asteroid and end it all!
Space.com reports via NASA’s Asteroid Watch program that two meteors fantastically appeared in the night sky! They were only 50 miles away from Earth. If you looked up to the sky last night, you saw two bright red lights flying overhead. That was the tail pitch of God’s double fast ball.
One of the asteroid meteors buzzed by at 1:09 am EDT. Scientists estimate it was travelling a meager 6.34 x 10^35th power. That was just God yawnking, casually flicking the asteroid toward us to give warning.  The Scientists named this one FP 35 (fast pitch 35, as they new only God could sling a meteor that hard and fast).
The first asteroid knocked out several of ATTs satellites by its velocity alone! If you have an ATT cell phone and lost coverage, know God was dialing you up a warning to write your Senator and block gay marriage!
The next asteroid, FS 35 (fast slider 35) was the size of Rhode Island and dashed the upper atmosphere of Earth, putting a hole in the Ozone right above New York City (Sodomy Megalopolis) and West Hollywood, California! Now, you there will sizzle with ultra-violet sins! But you little pink tutu fluorescent spritzed martinia gays probably like that, don’t you! More visits to the proctologist! Fun times, you think!?
Mark my words, gays. These asteroids are getting closer and closer! God is now using these asteroids to skim the atmosphere of Earth and give you a direct taste of the Sun’s sizzling heat! You may think body sores and tan ugly skin like a Malibu seaman may be bad, but mark my words, the Sun’s heat is an Artic joke next to the blazing furnace Beelzebub and Ba’al have set for you in hell!
The smell of heaven is that of fresh lilacs and love. There is no room for fecal jousting and inert bum oils there, you sick perverts of sodom.   These space rocks will soon fall down upon us all, so gays, relent. If you want us to believe you are not mean, bigoted and digusting people, accept my words: we must unlegalize gay marriage.
Don’t say I’m racist, I just want a happy future for Earth.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Reverend Clyde H. Higgins
You're all sinners in the hands of an angry God, a spider dangling over the burning flames of hell and only protected by one silk thread. God has scissors ready and hates those who spin webs of sin.
5:01 pm
Science can explain how asteroids form and move. I reiterate, what proof do you have that God and Satan, Heaven and Hell, Angels and Demons are real?
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2:42 am
They have a book written by man…oh wait.
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5:02 pm
“God is taking about the gays and their holier-than-thou liberal allies! They think they have the right to say I have no right to demand NO GAY MARRIAGE!”
Because your demands affect the rights of citizens of America, and doing such a thing is wrong.
“If Bill Maher calls Sarah Palin a conche, they praise his name! But let good Rush Limbaugh call a flussy a slut, and they try to take away his first amendment rights!”
Context is everything, and apparently you love to take things out of context just like every other Christian moron.
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5:06 pm
How much context is there in calling a woman a cunt, LN? Bill Maher is the biggest hypocrite, but the rest of you libreal yes-men are close seconds. America is a nation founded up dissent. What right do you liberal fascists have to coerce gay marriage on society?
It reminds me of Sims. If you get angry enough with your little character, you can trap them in a house with no windows and make them start a fire, or better yet, just bombard them with endless meteorites.
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3:41 pm
Truthfully, I find leaving them in the pool and taking away the ladder very satisfying.
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3:52 pm
“What right do you liberal fascists have to coerce gay marriage on society?”
The right that any man or woman has the right to marry the one they love, be they of the same gender or not. What right do YOU have to keep people from being happy with their lover?
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12:23 am
Ahem, Nelson, remember? You holy guys aren’t allowed to use “Satanic” words for the vagina, such as “cunt”.
Or rather, for that matter, you people aren’t allowed to use God’s name in vain.
That’s right. God is a cunt.
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2:17 am
Homophobia in your username and misogyny in your comment. Well done, hatemonger.
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7:15 pm
Direct quote from the article:
“The next asteroid, FS 35 (fast slider 35) was the size of Rhode Island and dashed the upper atmosphere of Earth, putting a hole in the Ozone right above New York City”
There is three things wrong with this sentence alone:
1. the name “FS” does not mean fast slider, there is no evidence of the FS standing for anything other than a form of identification. Google it, prove me wrong.
2.The asteroid was most definitely not the size of Rhode Island. It was measured to be about the size of a bus.
http://www.space.com/15043-small-asteroids-earth-close-shave.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter
This article states that they were the previously stated sizes.
3. They did NOT create a “hole” in the o-zone, the closest of the two was 36 thousand miles from the surface of the earth, far from the atmosphere.
The only thing that is “true” about this is that there is an asteroid named FS 35, but the one stated has none of the properties of the one that exists.
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7:37 pm
Why would we trust NASA as they lay in their death throes, crawling on hands and knees to beg Obama from closing them down completely. Of course Magic Kenya is going to make them wave their arms and wizard out of report of lies and deceit. The asteroid nearly knocked Earth off kilter, but we were only held here by the mercy of God. Get a clue.
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7:48 pm
Since you were so kind to reply,
If NASA was trying to hide their size:
I would love to ask how the writer of this article could have gotten the information on their exact size, distance from earth, and location without any stated measuring equipment.
They would of had to work for NASA itself to learn that, or have very expensive and large equipment.
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8:47 pm
Our fellowship has members in all fields of study. Many working in the highest levels of government.
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8:49 pm
Yeah no. You have no one working in the government.
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8:51 pm
August, you’ve been hitting that booze harder and harder lately.
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9:01 pm
“Our fellowship has members in all fields of study. Many working in the highest levels of government.”
would you please give a few examples? I will refuse to believe you unless you show me the FACTS, who specifically works at these levels of government, and i would also like a list of people that work in that field issued by the government to prove it.
I respond to logic and reason, if you can justify it ans explain how and why as I did earlier, I will beleive you. That means citing sources, other than ones from this site.
But if you start quoting the bible and telling me very vague things like many people on here have, I will refuse to believe anything you say.
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1:14 am
they have Nobody in government or nasa or CIA or FBI
People In government are too Busy to actually write for this site ( other than whitehouse.gov even though it’s whitehosue interns who do it )
same goes with NASA
Only people with plenty of time in their hand will write a Blog like this site
the creator just wnat to show how stupid conservative american is
august believe dinosaur supposed have Bone dick ( dick doesnt have Bon and dinosaur lay eggs )
he also believe that there is 2 sun an asian one and a caucasian one
I don’t even think he was a marines or in the army for the matters
in other word august is a Liar simple as that
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2:16 am
Hey Frenchie, why do you all eat seal meat up there in Quebec?
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1:47 pm
hey exbrony how many cock you sucked last night ?
see I can make stupid stuff too
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8:04 pm
I saw it on TV. Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern. You lot eat seal. Sometimes seal tartare.
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2:51 am
“as they new only God could sling a meteor that hard and fast”
I think you mean knew spell check it helps even when writing crap.
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3:07 am
Too bad you don’t use a grammar-check, you idiot.
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6:59 am
I’m not the one trying to act like a professional on a fake web site trying to make money form ads
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9:14 am
“trying to make money form ads”.
You need a spellcheck as well as a grammar check, you clown shoe.
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3:58 pm
Least i’m not a gay biTch
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8:00 pm
Why do you hate gay people?
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12:56 pm
maybe the article got to him?
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7:01 am
If it’s the size of Rhode Island how does it only hit the west and east cost and nothing in the middle did it just stop and wait for the earth to move or did i just take a left, after going back up?
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9:16 am
You also need a punctuation check.
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1:09 pm
I have an honest question for you, twilight sparkle icon person:
who do you support? Atheism, Christianity, or are you somewhere in the middle?
Some of your posts are kind of confusing to me which side you support.
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3:56 pm
Probably just susan and her many accounts.
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12:59 pm
many accounts? news to me!
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8:01 pm
I support facts and truth. That’s all there is to it.
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8:40 pm
I agree, I hope i have showed that i support facts as well. i do not want to seem ignorant and idiotic. even though everyone else here seems to be.
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10:30 pm
Naming yourself after a length of cartoon excrement doesn’t suggest that you are a serious person, but I take you at your word that you are.
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2:26 pm
Why do you insist that God cannot hit Earth with something the size of Jupiter, but only gays would be affected. Don’t you realize God can do anything? Your petty understanding of physics does not apply to our God of the universe. Why don’t you go do something more fitting for concrete minded folks. Don’t you mud people like watching Comedy Central and smoking your drugs, eating your Cheetos and living off government money? Maybe you should go do that and leave the conversation of how to run the world to us more capable folk? Do you need $10 to run and buy yourself some snackies?
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2:30 pm
“Why do you insist that God cannot hit Earth with something the size of Jupiter, but only gays would be affected. Don’t you realize God can do anything?”
There’s so much stupid with that I don’t even know where to start.
“Your petty understanding of physics does not apply to our God of the universe.”
You think God is weak and yet you condemn others for not understanding God?
“Why don’t you go do something more fitting for concrete minded folks. Don’t you mud people like watching Comedy Central and smoking your drugs, eating your Cheetos and living off government money? Maybe you should go do that and leave the conversation of how to run the world to us more capable folk? Do you need $10 to run and buy yourself some snackies?”
I take it that you just got done robbing a guy to go get drugs and snack foods, right?
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2:39 pm
It is not that god cannot hit earth with something the size of Jupiter, (whether or not he/she/it exists is not my point) but the fact that the supposed “Jupiter sized object” would be detected years prior to its collision with any of our planets and/or sun.
Also in theory, where would this come from? absolutely nothing? just appear on the distant edge of our solar system without a trace and a convenient flight path to earth, not to mention not colliding with Jupiter or any other of the gas giants? Do you realize the impossibilities of that?
Physics itself wont allow something like that to happen, god may or may not of created the rules physics (as in before they were discovered), but the things he may or may not do still have to apply to the rules.
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10:53 am
Sort of like you liberals think everything started from nothing? A magical Big Bang?
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11:51 am
Prove i am a liberal. prove the physics wrong, come on, i dare you.
You also beleive the universe came from nothing, there was apparently a god that always existed but only picked now to create us out og absolutely nothing.
your idea is just as far fetched, oh wait, it’s more. The big bang did happen, in case you didn’t know. Or do you deny scientific evidence?
The big bang is a theory, but not in civilian terms, it’s a theory in the same way gravity is. I don’t see you jumping out of fucking buildings do I?
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6:00 am
Your so call bible is nothing but full of magic I mean con on a talking bush, some boat that can hold all the animals of the world. All it’s missing is a top hat and some cups.
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12:49 pm
What a pretty picture of Gods hand. I am sorry that these gays so anger him that he has to smite earth, but I for one am ready for him to call me home.
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12:53 pm
You mean to Hell?
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1:01 pm
Lawrence. My calls for a permaban has fallen on deaf ears. So I will be putting my own ban into effect. I am ignoring you and all of the racist and sexist trash that you spew from your mouth and finger tips.
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1:04 pm
So says the black-and-Mexican hater. You do realize that you’re the racist one, right? And how am I sexist? What, because of what I tell Bitcham? You mean the same whore who says women shouldn’t vote or talk but continues to spout her mouth off and is going to Hell because of it, like the rest of you Satanists?
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1:15 am
Did you hear what her name last year? He’s already done the rapture so if your still here….
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10:18 pm
You’re taking all of those out of context. The whole nurse thing we already agreed to drop, Claire.
With Iran, I do not support a people who want to commit genocide against Israel. Just like I support the Greatest Generation who sacrificed and gave their life to kill the Nazis and Japanese Empire, I support our army wiping out whatever they need to in Iran to prevent genocide. And I’ve volunteered down in Haiti and gave them plenty of money, what have you done to help them, Claire?
I love the innocent people there. I hate the druglords who ravage the women and children, bringing terror to the good people who live there. The druglords are heavy into voodoo and use the people as sacrificial elements in their ritual. Wouldn’t you want to wipe out people in anger for that?
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10:22 pm
“And I’ve volunteered down in Haiti and gave them plenty of money, what have you done to help them, Claire?”
How does that take away from the fact that you want them ALL dead?
“I love the innocent people there.”
Apparently you ‘love’ them so much that you’re more than willing to kill them all off just to get to the bad ones.
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10:27 pm
LN, if Adam wanted all the Haitians dead, why would he donate money to them?
That would be like Hitler auctioning off his watercolours and donating the proceeds to Jewish Relief!
Sometimes you really do make yourself look silly.
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10:50 am
Why are you guys ganging up on me? Claire, you and I agreed to drop the nurse thing. Can’t we just go ahead and do that?
With Haiti, it’s just an issue of having to go there and see for yourself. Just because you’re not wealthy, that still does not mean you cannot go there or give some sort of help. You have medical training, Claire, so it is possible for you to go on medical missions.
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12:52 pm
oh look claire is complaining AGAIN
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8:06 pm
You probably know more than many of the Haitians. Heck, from all the medical missions I’ve been on you’d do good to contribute to them or any other developing or impoverished nation. Things we take for granted here, like getting a dose of over-the-counter medicine or correctly bandaging a wound is profound knowledge and medical practice for these people. A big thing for Western governments and NGOs will be empowering people of these impoverished nations to perform basic medical care for one another.
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