• War on Women and Gays is a Solution, Not a Problem

    March 16, 2012 9:59 pm 55 comments

    Why, Why, Why? The internet is all boogered up with twitterings and long winded commentary about how crap-house-rat-crazy the conservative GOP’s sudden and sustained legislative assault on the health and reproductive rights of womenz and “The Gay” appears to be holy motivated by the religious right. That kind of language is very judgmental. The following information should un-fuse the confused.

    The general fertility rate dropped 3 percent to 66.7 births per 1,000 women aged 15–44 years. The total fertility rate (estimated number of births over a woman’s lifetime) was down 4 percent, to 2,007.0 per 1,000 women. – “Births: Final Data for 2009”, Joyce A. Martin, M.P.H.;et al, National Vital Statistics Reports Volume 60, Number 1.

    Actions that put women in their place as baby makers and gives Gays limited rights aren’t just about a righteous hatred. It’s about demographics and loving America. Vitriol is just a means to an end, a convenient framing of the solution, not the true end goal for the influx of Christian right thinking in government. Righteousness is like a smiley face sprinkled in the milk foam of a cappuccino. It’s a happy ending bonus that funds super PACs and elections, but not the real massage or even message.

    The conservative effort to subtly mandate the impregnation of all fertile women and ensure that a high percentage of pregnancies result in live births, publicly shame women and gays, support domestic abuse, openly discriminate against gays, and blithely reject rights for both Gays and women are policy solutions that serve to shore up a projected decline in US population and abate the economic desolation such a decline will bring.

    Environmental sustainability with a reduced demographic might even mean an end for golf, for pity’s sake!

    The Republican effort to increase birthdays is about saving the nation with the additional benefit of walking with God. Because framing these policies in a religious light is a Holy halo to a lot of people. People like to be thought of as doing the right thing. Having God on your side is a sure sign. Conservatism and extreme right Christianity are like best friends with benefits.

    Some will need a moment to let all that sink in. Repeat after me: It’s about Dem-o-graph-ic policy and loving America, not about hating vaginas and the gay.

    Demographics itself is a rather downstream discipline where predictions for the future are based on trends and all kinds of crazy theories from academic papers and sociological experimentation. Projections milked from empirical data, or past experience, can yield different cheeses depending on the whim and fancy of the interpreter or an unforeseen outside influence. The study of birthrates and predicting population growth is a large part of demographic study. Yes, I used a cheese metaphor for our friends in Wisconsin whose Governor is facing recall and finds it of the utmost importance to repeal a law requiring insurers to offer contraception. Sumbuddy got a memo to get ‘er done, people!

    A Brief Foray into Population Demographic Policy in the US

    Usually, when a man and woman love each other very much they lay very close together and a baby gets made. Sometimes when a man and a woman are struck with baby fever and lying very close together doesn’t work, they get a baby from a test tube and put it in a woman to gestate. When a woman wants to lay with another woman, she can get a baby from lying very close to a turkey baster. In any event, it takes a woman to make a baby. Women are the necessary part of increasing populations, especially if a country doesn’t rely on immigrants for headcounts.

    Immigrants are a conservatively distasteful way of increasing population. Conservatism is about keeping things the same, not about big changes especially in the color of citizens. The United States is a white bread majority nation, not multi-grain. Lady Liberty and all that “give me your [sic] huddled masses” was a gift from the French. She’s not real American. L-i-b-e-r-t-y is born and raised in America. The statue of immigration liberty in New York is green, but nobody gave her a green card to start inviting everyone to the party. Immigration – bad, women having babies – good. Remember, the population is declining. We need pregnant women to save America! Hallelujah!

    Social media like the utubers has many presentations that address the decline in white population by such notables as David Duke. The main stream news sources only scratch the surface.

    The U.S. population is increasing at every age level, thanks in part to immigration. America is aging, but not as fast as other countries.
    But even that is looking fragile. The 2010 census suggested that U.S. population growth is decelerating faster than many expected.. – “The Fertility Implosion”, NYT, DAVID BROOKS, March 12, 2012.

    The decline in birth rates is important for several reasons. First, who’s gonna pay the taxes for oil subsidies and fund the war machine? Republicans don’t want everybody paying taxes. They want smaller government, fewer people voting, less education spending, and babies, babies, babies to feed the next war and fund the military contractors. Of course Republicans have tried to help keep the military force strong by allowing Liberals to repeal DADT.

    The repeal of DADT was really okie-dokie with the conservative Republicans, even if they kinda sorta acted like they didn’t like it. If a gay isn’t going to produce heirs, they might as well serve the country is the logic in play here. Gays get what they want. Conservatives get what they want. The military has headcount. The new GOP budget reflects no change in military spending so everybody is happy, right?

    Second, the United States needs a stable workforce of producers and consumers to farm the fields, harvest crops, work in factories, build the infrastructure and buy goods and services. With lower population growth and producer/consumer footprint, the United States is headed for a European standard that includes expensive gasoline, socialized medicine, scarf wearing homosexuals riding scooters, economic collapse, naps at midday and taking off the month of August for vacation. Who wants that kind of grief? We need to get those birthrates moving in a positive direction!


    The Wommyn’s Womb is a Demographic Baby-Makin’ Clog that needs some Strong Plunging

    Sure men are important to birthrates, bless their hearts. Unfortunately while one man can lie with many women to make many babies, a woman can only incubate so many babies at a time. Women are a kind of a crampy bottleneck in the baby making process. It takes a woman about nine months to hatch only one baby. It might take her 20 years to make 20 babies. A man on the other hand is not a cramp. One man can impregnate 20 women and have 20 babies in one year, but he would need 20 women to do so. Clearly women are the barriers to increasing population and so we have policies that treat women like cattle and Gays like steers because, praise be, America needs to get that herd count up.

    Wait, You Mean We Aren’t In Danger of Overloading Environmental Resources with Over-Population?

    That’s right, Duckie, you’ve been lied to. For the past several decades a slow environmental confidence game has been played while you’ve been losing your sensitivity by wearing a condom. The idea of scarcity has a grave impact on the use of contraception. “I don’t want to bring a child into the world where they don’t have food to eat, there’s so much crime, yada yada blah blah blah…” So the population starts to drop and oil prices are high and the economy goes in the sewer and people don’t want to have babies then either and the decline spirals out of control.

    When families fear they are unable to feed their children, or fill their gas tanks cheaply, they will resort to family planning to give all their children the best chance for survival. Creating the perception that environmental and economic systems are overwhelmed by a growing population has an impact on people and animals. They won’t have babies at all; or they will have fewer babies. The liberal menace is counting on you, dear Christians, to stop having babies so they may cement dominance in the United States.


    Central to the lowering of birthrates and the collapse of civilization is a widespread availability of contraception and abortions for women. One of the more popular methods is the oral contraceptive pill. The inventor of oral contraceptives, Carl Djerassi, laments his sinful discovery as a horror according to widely released reporting by the Catholic Church.

    In a personal commentary published by the Austrian newspaper Der Standard, Djerassi said his invention is partly to blame for demographic imbalance and horrors of Europe’s economic collapse. On the continent, he argued, there is now “no connection at all between sexuality and reproduction.” Soon after he was bullied by liberal forces and issued a retraction, but truth is like pregnancy. One can’t be a little bit pregnant and many just saw this for what it is – a conspiracy to rationalize the udder destruction of cattle-lytic reproductive hope.

    If the United States wants to follow the path of destruction like our European cousins, we can allow Gay marriage and let our women prostitute themselves with contraception. Some would rather enlist the help of a few brave conservative Republicans and the Church.

    Jesus is your Congressman – You Folks Need to Get to Makin’ Bacon and Stop this Democratic Voting Nonsense

    One of the more notable Church endorsed population control measures includes the timeless document issued by the Catholic Church in 1484 after the evil pox known as the Black Plague ravaged the population of Europe. In response, the Church offered the following warning in a lengthy one sentence proclamation called the Summis desiderantes affectibus or “desiring with supreme ardor” which was a papal bill issued by Pope Innocent VIII. This papal bill is still very popular and even has a facebook page.

    “[m]any persons of both sexes, unmindful of their own salvation and straying from the Catholic Faith, have abandoned themselves to devils, incubi and succubi, and by their incantations, spells, conjurations, and other accursed charms and crafts, enormities and horrid offences, have slain infants yet in the mother’s womb, as also the offspring of cattle, have blasted the produce of the earth, the grapes of the vine, the fruits of the trees, nay, men and women, beasts of burthen, herd-beasts, as well as animals of other kinds, vineyards, orchards, meadows, pasture-land, corn, wheat, and all other cereals; these wretches furthermore afflict and torment men and women, beasts of burthen, herd-beasts, as well as animals of other kinds, with terrible and piteous pains and sore diseases, both internal and external; they hinder men from performing the sexual act and women from conceiving, whence husbands cannot know their wives nor wives receive their husbands; over and above this, they blasphemously renounce that Faith which is theirs by the Sacrament of Baptism, and at the instigation of the Enemy of Mankind they do not shrink from committing and perpetrating the foulest abominations and filthiest excesses to the deadly peril of their own souls, whereby they outrage the Divine Majesty and are a cause of scandal and danger to very many (…) the abominations and enormities in question remain unpunished not without open danger to the souls of many and peril of eternal damnation.”

    Of course the idea of controlling population growth with ham handed “Grab your Pitchforks and Burn the Gays and Fornicating Witches” measures in modern times seems pretty farfetched, right fellow citizens? This is a country founded on religious freedom and women and the gay need to respect that by looking the other way.

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    About The Author
    Blanche Beecham "Blanche Beecham lends a soft, learned hand to the fourth estate with incite-full investigations on diverse topics such as Politics, Love, and Lifestyle. Her many years experience as a wife, mother, ladies book club president and financial auditor make her well suited to ferreting out the truth and giving it a sound shake." - Rev. Jackson Lee Whitebelley, Publisher and Editor of "The Incubator" - Follow me on Twitter! @BLANCHEBEECHAM

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