• Will Michael Bay Make My Kid Gay?

    March 26, 2012 3:43 pm 51 comments

    Michael Bay, responsible for such cryptic films as “Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon” and “Horsemen” has decided to slander another Hollywood classic. But this is one classic that actually matters, as it is one of the few mainstream Hollywood films devoid of gay homo fillings and advocacy.

    (Yeah, I’ll take that d***, I’ll take that d*** real good, maybe in my buttcheeks? — Michael Bay, in leaked text messages to production assistant on set of “Horsemen.”)

     

    The movie? “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.”

    Even I allowed my two children, Bobby Dale and Lillith Jo, to watch these rambunctious Turtles — yes, while the Turtles did wear colored, bedazzled costumes , they in no way, shape, or form resembled full blooded homosexuals; because their karate skills and ruthless ability to kill made them men, or straight leaning turtles with humanoid features and tendencies.

    In addition, it is widely known that they regularly engaged in consensual, heterosexual group sex with reporter April O’Neill, as she agreed to marry all of the Turtles and their ethnic (but legal US Citizen) grandfather Splinter, in order to gain favor in God’s eyes (this happened between TMNT I and the beginning of TMNT II).

    Michael “Gay” Bay has decided to inject his brand of gay homosexual pornographic magic and cater to the homo’s warped agenda with his recent decision to remake the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, re-titling it simply “Ninja Turtles” — a move undoubtedly intended to convey the metaphor of the Turtle’s new alien origin being similar to being a homosexual.

    I puke in my mouth when I consider such behavior, but this gay savagery is accepted and revered in the film, as the new highly effeminate Turtles sloppily fight crime in between periods of time bickering with each other over costume and fingernail polish color.

    How do I know all of this? Because former Michelangelo voice actor Robbie Ries recently went on the news and revealed the truth that we had all been waiting for — Michael “Gay” Bay was sodomizing the franchise!

     Finally, the news media reports the T-R-U-T-H instead of continuing to abet  the gay homosexual community! No more fanatical lies, but the simple satisfaction in knowing that Bay’s illicit and immoral gay philandering will no longer go unnoticed!

    If you watch any of the “Transformers” films, it becomes immediately clear that they’re nothing more than a soapbox for Bay to push across the ideology of the Transexually and Transgendered communities. The movies scream, “Accept me for sinning against god with this sex-change.” 

    With this new butchering  of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, it is clear that Michael Bay has decided to sink his talons into legions of sweet, young boys and girls — Warriors for Christ.

    Don’t let your sons and daughters watch Michael Bay films, lest you desire disease-fulled gay homo sex to fill your sleepless nights as you lie awake and think of how you r children sleep in roach-infested Section 8 apartments, wrapped in the embrace of their filthy same-sex lover.

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    About The Author
    Mark E. Figs Mark is an award-winning children's author, and Christian Conspiracy Theorist can be found on Facebook and Twitter -- (Mark E. Figs)

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