• America Trembles As God Prepares to Unleash Tornadoes, Quivering Gays to Blame

    April 14, 2012 2:27 pm 194 comments

    God is angry! A tempest broods over all America! For God is trying to clear his air of fecal inqiuties! In his nostrils, the scent of briskly rubbed flesh oils and musked lilac sheets remind him one thing: America is allowing gay marriage! God’s temper is flared!



    God blows his nostrils to get the scent of gay out, causing hundreds of tornadoes to break out all across America!

    FOR IT IS WRITTEN!

    Behold, the whirlwind of the LORD goeth forth with fury, a continuing whirlwind: it shall fall with pain upon the head of the wicked!!!

    Today God is throwing down the gauntlet!  He is playing hardball and is no longer throwing little pebble meteors at New York or scorching orifice bleaching California with fires of wrath!  Today, God is smiting his very favorite states in America!  Why, because we have suffered him by not berating the gays!

    Steeped with great anger, God's exploding like a nuclear teapot and wiping at his favorite states with furious rage. These states have failed in their duty to keep the gays from being merry and married.

    Texas.  Oklahoma!  My good friend Pastor Fred in Kansas!  Nebraska!  Indiana!  Western Missouri where the Confederacy first fought to keep slavery alive!  God is coming for you because you have FAILED to be the moral majority!

    If it was not bad enough that we have allowed gays to take over the Internet and blaspheme dear Maggie Gallagher, have allowed the boyfriend of Ellen Degeneres to launch the 3rd most watched and Obama endorsed channel in Southern California and finally have allowed a MORMON to win the GOP nomination, we have also forgot one simple thing:  AMERICA IS ONE NATION UNDER GOD!

    In a country that is under God, how can we let a man pucker up hit spunk cavern to another man and not be ashamed!  Under the Law of God, these crimes are high and they are treason!

    My friends, the tornadoes are coming.  Mark my words, they are coming.  You may try to run and hide from them, but you will not get very far.  Just like the heathens idolaters who were scorched by Mount Vesuvius, such shall be the fate for America tonight.

    I warned for years that if we kept allowing the gays to be perverted, pretty soon God was going to cook up a large gumbo pot of wrath and throw us all in it!

    And believe you me, God can eat 10,000 habeneros and not even flinch!  So it is going to be one spicy bowl of damnation tonight, my friends!  The intestinal pangs of suffering from 10,000 habeneros will not even compare to the scorching fires of hell where all sinners shall go!

    Let us pray for mercy, but oh my, the tornadoes are COMING!  I shall be sitting home in my rocking chair, safe and just shaking my head.  I warned you.  I warned you ALL!

    Now we shall see how angry the gays make our Lord.

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    About The Author
    Reverend Clyde H. Higgins You're all sinners in the hands of an angry God, a spider dangling over the burning flames of hell and only protected by one silk thread. God has scissors ready and hates those who spin webs of sin.

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