• Atheists Continue to Torment Christians with Zombie Easter Pictures on Easter

    April 8, 2012 2:31 pm 14 comments

    Today I opened the Holymailbox to find the usual atheistic assault on Christianity. A group calling itself Matt’s Brigade is claiming to be Christian, yet they sullied me before giving my sermon on what she be the happiest day in American and therefore universal history.

    Nearly 2000 years ago, humanity was doomed. We had continually sinned before our Lord and Satan had all but claimed our eternal souls as his greatest prize ever. But God, my friends, but God gave us his only Son to show to Satan and all demons, that God’s love and sacrifice for humanity is beyond amazing.

    John 3:16 (please stand as you read this scripture, in reverence for God): “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him, shall not perish but have EVERLASTING life.”

    Just stop, close your eyes and think of the power of that scripture. God promised to the Earth that at our darkest hour, we would have a Savior come to us. Many people named the Jews erred and expected a militaristic savior who would save them from Roman conquest. Others expected a being who immediately cracked the sky and demanded all bow before him.

    But our great and wonderful God sent a tiny baby, wrapped in swaddling clothes. He was born to a virgin named Mary and an adoptive father who was skilled in building. It was the upbringing of Christ in an adoptive nuclear family that forwarded him to his ministry, where through his divine understanding and example of humility us American Christians of today draw our inspiration, strength and hope.

    Jesus is for all people, my friends. Gays, liberal scientists, people who voted for Barack Obama, Muslims and even the very atheists who tried to depress me today.

    In the past 5 years, I’ve received over 3,000 unique zombie Jesus pictures from atheists. I’ve used these images in my sermons throughout the nation to show people the woes and militant infantalism of atheistic logic. These people claim to be englightened, yet they cannot fathom the basic tenets of faith. Their lack of humility hardens their heart and limits their experience to the sad experience of their five measly senses. They will burn in hell and not realize true universal wisdom should they continue on their paths.

    It’s with that I present 2012′s zombie Jesus picture from atheists. Instead of the initial gallery of examples that show atheist childish and intent to ruin Easter, today I will feature just one image that stuck out to me.

    A woman named Starla contacted us on behalf a man named Matt. He apparently commands a legion of fair looking models and was raised a Christian. He has used his great wealth and power to purportedly and convincingly create an image entitled “The Last Supper”, where the apostles have all been casted by who could be breathtaking models (aside from one that looks like Rocky Horror Picture Show). In the middle I am assuming it is Matt who is taking on the role of Christ.

    This image burned into my mind’s eye and before today’s sermon at Langley CC and televised sermon at our sister church in Malibu, I had to drink two bottles of ChristWire’s holy water to find the inner strength and high spiritual dipole moment to carry out my sermon.

    Please, visit Matt’s Facebook page and ballyhoo. You may also find his personal webpage here.

    Click image for full sized unholiness.

    We can see one of the atheist model apostles has performed an impromptu appendectomy and is trying to eat of the “Lord’s” appendix in the right lower quadrant, while others are probably laughing it up and drinking chiantis. This is not the Last Supper and Jesus is not a mythological zombie.

    I can only hope this Easter that the message of joy, love and peace can find you atheists. If you are reading this and your heart is speaking to you, telling you to try Christ, please go to your local church next Sunday. Feel free to also email me at the Holymailbox. The world is in a spiritual battle and Christ is not a fair weather savior. He is there to hold us when we are at our lowest moments, he is there to forgive us for our greatest sins.

    In this crazy, cruel world, sometimes all we can have is faith in those truths. The love of Christ is a love for all seasons, and all people. And it is that thought that made me able to go on today. The crisp, Fiji-glinted ChristWire holy water quenched my thirst for comfort, but it was the message of Christ that ultimately gave me this thought: forgive them, for they know not what they do.

    And it’s that beautiful message that I share with you all this Easter Sunday. When you meet people of lesser understanding, you must realize their mind is like that of a toddler in a tantrum. They will lash out in unpredictable ways, but if any of us are without our moments of sin, we would be perfect. And none of us can claim perfection: that is what Jesus Christ gave us the chance for redemption.

    Atheists, today, know in your heart you can be forgiven. And Christians, who have forsook Christ’s message of love and peace, know too, you can be forgiven. It’s time to have a vision of unity, and not Obama’s helter skelter vision of division.

    Be blessed, my friends. And have a wonderful Easter Sunday.

    Sincerely,

    Pastor Jack Gould
    (Youth Pastor/Motivational Speaker)
    Co-founder/CEO ChristWire Global

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    About The Author
    Jack Gould Pastor Jack "Jbox" Gould is a local best-selling author, motivational speaker and youth pastor extraordinaire at Langley CC, where his stories about the laid back California life and relations to Jack-in-the-Box bobble heads are all the rage. Email Jack a Question

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