If I Were The Devil (Warning for a Nation)

Abe
• ChristWire
April 25, 2012 2:13 pm92 comments

This is an excerpt from my famed radio essay, If I were the Devil. (Warning for a Nation)

IF I WERE THE DEVIL - BY Abe Goodman

If I were the devil, I’d make Earth my very home.

My first act would be to trick everyone into voting a Muslim terrorist into office!  I would groom my child in a madrasa, so that he would know the tongue of terror.  I would then groom him at Harvard, so he would know the tongue of the educated.

Then I would trick everyone into voting him for president.  If I were the devil, I would pick Barack Obama to be the leader of Earth and America.

With my minion in place, I would make this the New Anti-American Century.

I would fly around Earth, whispering my music into the ears of your children. I whisper to them, “Children, oh children, hear my words. Skrillex and Electronic Dance Music is not pure crap, it is the music of your soul. Buy the CDs and do all the things they tell you to do: abortion orgies, candy LSD, disobeying your parents. Do it all!”

When you foolish parents let your children go to Coachella and pledge their soul to me with every tokey toke of a bonged hit and uttering of a praise song to me, I would laught with delight!

You see, all music not of God is a praise unto me.

If I were the devil, I’d make vampire the new teenage idol.

I would laugh with pleasure when Godly teenage heartthrobs like Dick Clark and The Macho Man passed away.  I would personally help Daniel Radcliffe, The Black Veiled Brides, Edward Cullen and every other dark vampire on Earth squeeze into their 80s slutty girl jeans and tickle your sons and daughters with thoughts of drugged up lesbianism, witchcraft and sparkly sins.

Television and movies would only get worse and worse.  I would brainwash everyone to think “only sex and violence will sell”.  I would trick big book companies into thinking they should only help market writers who produce crappy stories of teenage orifice pounding and sappy romance with unreal beings, instead of fine works of prose that encourages thinking about the direction of modern culture and media. 

Every novel produced would be just a slice right out of my new age Bible of unethical, trite and boring imaginings.  Future generations would look upon the works with disgust, but guess what:  all future generations will be subdued by me, because the elite took no time to read through he words of warning of where our culture is going wrong now.

My hands are fully controlling literature, movies, music and television.  My hands control the internet.  Anyone who goes against the grain of perceived ‘justice and political correctness’ is quickly called biased and attacked by idiotic dolts who are under my control.  While those being defended tear down the very sites and pages meant to defend them, I would laugh with delight.  Because the idiots who were once defended are their own undoing.

If I were Satan, I would encourage idiots to immediately violate the first amendment, the very law God tried to give them to protect them and let others defend them as they see fit.  I would chuckle and rub myself furiously, oh so furiously, until I exploed with excited high heats hotter than the most wrathful day God gives me in hell.  I could take it, if I were the devil.

If I were the devil, I would scrap NASA.

When the Space Shuttle Discovery ended America’s mission to spread into space and beyond, making the most powerful nation dream of more than the petty arguments of Earth, I had my second greatest victory of all time. A grounded America is an America without ambition, drive and desire. Without those things, God’s favorite country is nothing but a third world cesspool of consumerism and blase compliance. It is not the land of dreams, but rather a stagnant nightmare that I will always make seem worse and worse.

If I were the devil, I would create 24 hour news programs dedicated to only tearing America apart.  No matter what good anyone on ‘the other side’ did, I would always spin it to be evil.  That way, no one ever things progress is being made.  America would become a land of mistrust, hopelessness and despair.  Those three things make my chest firm with excitement, it makes me pant with lust.  It makes me know, America is doomed.  And the idiots are doing it to themselves.

If I were the devil, I would tell everyone I didn’t exist.

Atheists do not believe in me.  That is okay.  Because even if I don’t exist, I really do.  I exist in every person who blindly jumps into judgment of others.  I exist in every person who seeks to destroy that they do not understand.  I exist in every person who does not love Ronald Reagan and all that he stands for.

In a twinkling moment and a blink of an eye, I can exist in you.

If I were the devil, I’d invade you.  And maybe, just maybe, you would not even know it.

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92 Comments

  • Pebrocks Ex-Christian

    Is there a point to your rambling?

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 2

    • I think your comment proves his point.

      Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 5

    • If I were the Devil, I would make an account on a wholesome christian site like Christwire with a name that parodies a certain member on it.

      I’d then make the user icon the hateful picture of someone burning god’s holy word since as the Devil, I’d want to do the same thing.

      Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 3

      • Pebrocks Ex-Christian

        I’ve had this account for a long time. Before you’ve been here. I choose this name because it is what I am. The picture was also changed because Billings didn’t like my other picture. He said he liked my new picture so I didn’t see anything wrong with keeping it. Blame Billings that I still have this picture.

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 2

        • Erich Sean Real Merican

          Hey, where is Billings?

          Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 2

          • Putting makeup on little kids like he talks about doing? Could be in jail by now.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 1

          • Him and his boyfriend/alter ego are probably in jail.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 1

        • i would agree with exchristian on that because he or she got a good point and and i know what your picture is and it’s L from death note

          Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

      • There, I change my name back to the original name. Also change to a picture I had in my folder. Happy?

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 1

        • Erich Sean Real Merican

          Nope.

          Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 2

          • You’re never happy unless you’re making fun of someone or insulting someone’s beliefs.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

          • Erich Sean Real Merican

            Hey tons-of-fun, why don’t you mix in some leafy greens and a sit-up or two in between the countless hours you spend slouched in front of your computer harassing all the good Christian people on this website?

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 2

          • Did I ask you R.M?

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

          • “Hey tons-of-fun, why don’t you mix in some leafy greens and a sit-up or two in between the countless hours you spend slouched in front of your computer harassing all the good Christian people on this website?”

            Seriously fat-ass, that’s the best you got? You’re so insecure about your weight and you literally have nothing else to refute, so you try to find something in your head to start insulting me about, and the first thing is ‘he’s probably a fat guy on the internet!’? That’s really your best shot, lard bucket? Have you ever thought that maybe if you stopped chowing down on greasy, fatty foods and worked out, that you might feel better about yourself and instead of trying to attack and insult someone’s character because you’re too damn lazy to try to find fault, you’ll actually be able to think because you’re no longer insecure about yourself? Just admit it, you’re too afraid to answer questions, that’s why you don’t want to see them. Questions, in your mind, are a bad thing, you hate them because it means that your fragile state of mind might shatter.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

          • Erich Sean Real Merican

            I’m sad that it took you this long to finally change your obscene screen name and avatar. Also, I’m more than a bit perturbed that I’ll have to change your name and re-print tonight’s prayer notes for the congregation.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

          • Erich Sean Real Merican

            LN trying to turn a factual insult directed at him around towards the author of the original post! Seriously fatty, you need to get an imagination (and, apparently, a personal fitness instructor)!

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

          • Now I’m fucking creeped out that you wrote down my name. Always the fat Americans that are the creepy ones.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

          • R.M., you based him being fat only on your thinking of him. You have nothing to support your “fact” other then your thinking, which is terrible. L.N. however sees your picture, which is of you, and sees a fat man. See, if you actually new how to use your fucking brain for once, I know that is asking a lot, then you would know fact from fiction, you fucking fat ass freak.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

          • “LN trying to turn a factual insult directed at him around towards the author of the original post!”

            Care to prove how I’m fat? And are you saying that you’re Abe?

            “Seriously fatty, you need to get an imagination (and, apparently, a personal fitness instructor)!”

            You need to lay off the burgers and ice cream and get a brain.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

          • Erich Sean Real Merican

            Hey “pebrocks”, my avatar is a picture of Hank Williams Jr. (Hint: I am not Hank Williams Jr.) Are you a Chinese cartoon in real life? Slapping my knee while laughing out loud! Looks like we’ve got a real dud over here (pebrocks)!

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

          • Every single Christian on this site, or ones that agree with the articles, have their Avatar a picture of them. All of them but you it seems. And this picture I’m using isn’t Chinese. Wow we have a smart guy over here! Guys come look! R.M. might have shown some intelligence! Oh…wait, he can’t do that. He’s using less than 1% of his brain.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

          • Erich Sean Real Merican

            “Every single Christian on this site, or ones that agree with the articles, have their Avatar a picture of them. All of them but you it seems.”

            You sure about that? I love how you said that with such confidence. After you take a few minutes to look around and see just how wrong you are, will you wonder what else you’ve been wrong about all of this time? Seriously, your willful ignorance is growing tiresome, kid.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

          • Abe, Mike, Billings, August, Susan, Tyson, Bryan, Blanche and Jack.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

      • Well good thing this isn’t a wholesome site or i’d be thinking your talking about here.

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

  • Come on guys, lets all play a game. Here is how to play:

    1) go to christwire
    2) pick the funniest sounding article to read
    3) try to read the whole thing, taking it seriously, without laughing or smiling.

    Post the results when your done.

    I lost it at abortion orgies.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 1

    • I lost at the first picture…It’s just so hilarious

      Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

    • Well I say that ChristWire is a genuine news site, but like you, I don’t take the video game articles seriously.

      Unlike them, I played some of the games listed and found they are lying. Princess Peach’s Pool Party is not an actual game, just a fake title that will diss the Mario fans, attract more viewers and gain more ad revenue. Sure Assassin’s Creed and Rapelay teaches underage kids to do bad things (I’ve met really rude kids who’ve been playing those).

      Back to the subject. If I was the devil, I would ban non-M rated video games, not persecute Muslims and brown kids (they cause a lot of racket and attempted to break into my locker), let untalented teen stars be on TV, allow high taxes to be passed, and encourage kids to wear skanky outfits.

      Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

      • I am actually debating on whether to send a few links from this site to my science teacher, I’m sure he would get a good laugh.

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

        • Erich Sean Real Merican

          If he has any kind of intelligence, his laughter will be directed at you and your lack of imagination. He will then return his efforts to some of the good kids in class, because he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are a hopeless lost cause.

          Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 2

          • You can’t tell the difference between two entirely different people, I wouldn’t be talking about intelligence period, dumbass.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

          • Erich Sean Real Merican

            For me, the “intelligence period” was study hall because I could read my Bible in peace and not have to deal with all of the secular teachings of my horrific public high school.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 2

          • I have to agree with LN,
            Having the name “Real Merican” doesn’t exactly prove your intelligence.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

          • Erich Sean Real Merican

            Your right, I could have named myself after a fecal cartoon character. Good point mrhanky2000! You’re on fire today!
            (that was sarcasm.)

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

          • So what if my name is?
            Also how would you even know that I was named after a character in a show may I remind you is full of “sin”

            It’s not just your name, but the fact that you don’t use any facts to back your arguments. I would be fine with your name if you didn’t fit the description so well.

            Perfect example:”If he has any kind of intelligence, his laughter will be directed at you and your lack of imagination.”
            Prove that I have a lack of imagination, and also prove I am a lost cause. Come on, use some facts or nobody will believe you.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

          • Stupid, the only thing you’re capable of doing is insulting people. Have you ever ONCE managed to disprove someone? Or do you just insult them, ala Jeb and Harley?

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

          • I cant tell if you’re replying to me or him.

            please specify, the reply system on this page needs to be fixed

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

          • Erich Sean Real Merican

            Who’s Harley? Links, please.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

          • Erich Sean Real Merican

            LN is replying to you, mrhankley. He just called you “stupid”. How rude!

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

          • I’m most certainly talking about ‘Real Merican’, dumbass is incapable of ever proving a point. I’m also surprised that Stupid doesn’t know who Harley is, considering what he did here all the damn time.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

          • No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

          • No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it

            so republican are children killer ?

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  • CelestialDeth CelestialDeth

    If I were the devil, I would just piss everyone off constantly, I don’t give a shit, and I’d do it in really stupid ways too. First I would tie up phone lines and shit like at lunch hour, so if you were calling someone you’d get someone else, and so on and so on. And then I’d go to all the libraries and switch all the books around so that books like Hack/Slash and the Hellbound hearts were in the religion section and put all the bibles in like ADULT +18 book section. I would be the biggest asshole in the world. Then I’d cause international incidents at the airports so everyone would get stuck there for like seven hours. I’d crash the internet and send out viruses of something retarded like a purple platypus smoking a cigar and singing show tunes with a robot. I’d give Oscars out for movies like Mars Attacks and Naplopean Dynamite. And then I would purposelly cause wars between people, like the Kindle vs Book people, Apple vs Mac, and everything else that people don’t agree on. Also I would drive around in like a Bentely and go five miles per hour in the fast lane just to piss people behind me off, I’d silly string everyone I meet on the street. Anything to piss anyone off, because when people are pissed they do all sorts of horrible things to each other. That’s what I’d do if I were the Devil. Just start an all out ‘How the fuck do I make people as mad as possible’ war.

    But I’m not the devil, therefor I am not an asshole, so I don’t do any of these things.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

    • CelestialDeth CelestialDeth

      Wait, I change my mind. I’ll be like Darla Dimple in Cat’s don’t Dance. I’ll be all cute and adorable and make people love me but actually I’ll be a colossal bitch and a spawn of hell.

      Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  • TheChristianCentrist TheChristianCentrist

    Honestly if I was the devil, I would finally “grow up” and ask God for His forgiveness and tell Him I was wrong. After that, I would work with God in restoring the planet to how God truly intended it to be.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

    • But then what would happen to all of the sinners? where would they go? Since there be no hell, they would have to go to heaven.

      Kinda funny if you think about it.

      Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 2

  • Abe is so wise.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 3

    • wise and a christwire blogger shouldn’t be used in the same sentence Dracula and what is with you people and creepy composite photo’s.

      Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  • Blanche Beecham Blanche Beecham

    If I were the devil, I would get the horns and tail removed. I’d carry a laser pointer instead of a pitchfork. Also, I would try to find my birth mother.

    I think the fact the devil doesn’t have a real mom is the reason he turned out so badly.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 4

  • If i were my father, I would do things differently.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  • MaddySevenfold

    What do you mean “IF” you were the devil?…

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    • that what I was thinking too I mena he described everything god would do

      Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  • I think you got confused for a bit there… saving NASA is clearly a liberal leftist marxist fascist position… everyone knows that all good Republican Christians want to shut NASA’s doors because science is all false anyway.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    • Those are the Neoconartists. True Conservative Christians boldly march into space and build Star Wars lasers that scare Russians into submission. Then, we take our mission to the moon and mine up some H3 and hopefully find oil elsewhere too.

      As Dr. Weisz can tell you, we also need a plan to ‘blow up the moon’ at our will, so as to ultimately keep a thumb on any of our enemies. There is hardly better MAD policy than having the ability to wipe out the moon.

      Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

      • Oh yea…I read that “blow up the moon” article…Usually I don’t really mind August, but that article was one of the most insane things I have ever read.

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  • Christian Intellectual

    If I were the Devil:

    I would create a philosophy called atheism and i would order them to spread crazy “scientific” theories that contradict the Bible.

    I would promote “science”, “rational-thinking” and “logic” to destroy the Bible, spiritual knowledge and faith.

    I would create 2 countries next to America (God’s nation), so i could send hoards of people to destroy American values, freedom and Christianity and i would name those countries “Canada” and “Mexico”.

    I would promote the Homogay lifestyle and trick gullible liberals by making them believe that it is natural and harmless.

    I would trick humans into creating an insidious “pet” designed to destroy innocent wildlife and i would name it cat.

    I would trick women into creating a hate group called feminism and i would make them promote lesbianism, fornication and genocide (abortion).

    After that i would come to Christwire.org, i would name myself “L.N.” and i would attack this holy site with lies and insidious ramblings.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 2

    • “I would promote “science”, “rational-thinking” and “logic””

      Wait…You’re against rational thinking, Christian [Insert antonym of "Intellectual" here]?

      So what, you promote Irrational thinking? That would explain why most of your comments seem borderline insane.

      Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

      • Christian Intellectual

        O the Masturbating Snake:

        NO, i am not against God based rational thinking and logic, there is a reason i wrote it in quotation marks.

        I am against Atheist based “rational thinking”, i have said many times that without God you CAN’T know anything.

        Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

        • How can you think rationally when a random all powerful bearded guy in the clouds dictates your rationality?

          I mean, I believe in some form of higher power but that dosen’t play any part in my decision making.

          There’s rational and irrational thinking, that’s it. No “God” or “atheist” based thinking.

          Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

          • Christian Intellectual

            I base all my reason, logic and thinking on God the Bible and the absolute-laws truths it contains (God rationality)

            Atheists base all their thinking on assumptions, observations, conjectures and imagination.

            Atheists thinking is circular reasoning because they prove their reason with their reason.

            Christian thinking IS NOT CIRCULAR because we prove our reasoning with God.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

          • “To the Cloud!”

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

          • Thinking for yourself plays a pivotal role in not sounding like a lunatic…Of which you sound like one right now…

            Basing your Reasoning and logic on an old book that no one can even prove right isn’t logic at all, it’s madness. True the bible teaches some good lessons once you get through the fairytales, but an Aesop’s fable accomplishes the same thing in less time and without being boring as watching paint dry. (If your still keepin up at this point, yes I did just compare reading the bible to watching paint dry)

            At least Atheists try to explain things instead of blatantly shouting “GOD” as the reason for everything

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

          • “I base all my reason, logic and thinking on God the Bible and the absolute-laws truths it contains (God rationality)”

            And the reason they’re correct is because why again?

            “Atheists base all their thinking on assumptions, observations, conjectures and imagination.”

            And guess what, most of the time, it turns out to be right. The difference between religion and science, is that when something is wrong with religion, it starts a war; if something is wrong with science, it causes people to discover something new.

            “Atheists thinking is circular reasoning because they prove their reason with their reason.”

            No, atheists think there is no god just because, it’s their kind of ‘faith’ in a way. The reasons they use may or may not be because of science.

            “Christian thinking IS NOT CIRCULAR because we prove our reasoning with God.”

            Let’s see, you say God is real because the bible says he’s real, and the reason the bible is true is because it says that it is.

            You DO realize THAT is circular logic, right?

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

          • Christian Intellectual

            L.N:
            “And the reason they’re correct is because why again?”

            The creator of the universe, God says it is.

            “No, atheists think there is no god just because, it’s their kind of ‘faith’ in a way. The reasons they use may or may not be because of science.”

            This has nothing to do with my point… and WTF does this even mean ? please explain L.N. i don’t understand retard.

            “Let’s see, you say God is real because the bible says he’s real, and the reason the bible is true is because it says that it is.”

            Stop using straw-man augments against me, i have never said this.

            NO, God is real because he has revealed himself to us. The Bible is true because it is the word of God, this is not a guess or a theory I KNOW IT.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

          • Christian Intellectual

            O (Masturbating Snake):

            “Basing your Reasoning and logic on an old book that no one can even prove right isn’t logic at all, it’s madness.”

            I agree atheists are completely crazy, the Origin of the species is a terrible Book.

            Listen carefully to this man L.N. he agrees with me, Atheism is a religion for the INSANE.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

          • C.I, you’re so stupid you can’t even realize that Ouroboros was talking about the Bible. Fucking idiot.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

          • Considering the small paragraph of mine you quoted a sentence from talks about the Bible in it, I was hoping you were at least smart enough to relize I was talking about the Bible…

            As in the bible is the terrible book

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

          • Christian Intellectual

            Pebbles:

            Who are you and why should i care ? Post something of value or go away.

            L.N. is brain dead but at least he tries to debate my points.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

          • Christian Intellectual

            O (Masturbating Snake):
            “As in the bible is the terrible book”

            No and billions of people around the world agree with me.

            Sounds like you are not smart enough to understand it.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

          • “The creator of the universe, God says it is.”

            And he says that in the bible, congratulations, you’re using circular logic.

            “This has nothing to do with my point… and WTF does this even mean ? please explain L.N. i don’t understand retard.”

            Try reading, stupid, it might help.

            “Stop using straw-man augments against me, i have never said this.’

            “The creator of the universe, God says it is.”

            And it’s found in the bible, so, yes, yes you have said that.

            “NO, God is real because he has revealed himself to us. The Bible is true because it is the word of God, this is not a guess or a theory I KNOW IT.”

            The reveal is only told in the bible and you think the bible is true because it says so.

            “I agree atheists are completely crazy, the Origin of the species is a terrible Book.”

            It’s an informational tool, not a way of life, something that you seem to think it is. You never bothered going through elementary school, did you?

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

          • Christian Intellectual

            L.N. ARE YOU F&%* RETARDED ?

            NO, revelation from God is NOT only found in the Bible, BILLIONS OF PEOPLE around the world have experienced the glory of God for themselves.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

          • They see god in their dreams, where anything can happen in dreams. Nothing is caused by god because god is not real. Try again.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

          • “Sounds like you are not smart enough to understand it.”

            Actually it more of the opposite..You dont seem smart enough.

            To take everything in the Bible literally is just crazy. Like I said its comparable to an Aesop’s fable; a story with a moral lesson somewhere in it.

            It takes a smart person to look past the fantasy of impossible acts in the bible and learn what it actually teaches.

            It takes a moron to believe that the fantasy is factual and that everything in the bible is true

            Guess which category you fall under?

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

          • “NO, revelation from God is NOT only found in the Bible, BILLIONS OF PEOPLE around the world have experienced the glory of God for themselves.”

            Except no one alive today was alive back then, meaning the only thing they could be using to know what was going on back then was the bible, and people believe the bible is true because it says it’s true.

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          • Christian Intellectual

            “Except no one alive today was alive back then.”

            God was alive back then and He has revealed the truth to us.

            Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

        • canadian hoarding freedom and christianity what ???

          in canada we have real freedom we doN,t have stupid law like CISPA (you should google it)

          at least I can breath freely without having a Gun pointed at my head

          and we have the best eductaion out there

          Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

          • “If I were the devil, I would tell everyone I didn’t exist.”

            lol

            You have some issues to write thing which you would do, IF you would be the devil.
            Stop dreaming.

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          • omg… that wasn’t meant to you…
            stupid site posts my comments randomly -.-

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    • So it was you by doing all that…

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    • “and i would attack this holy site with lies and insidious ramblings.”

      What holy site?

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      • Christian Intellectual

        Christwire.org

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        • It’s a normal site… has nothing to do with beeing holy, just because you say so.

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          • Christian Intellectual

            I believe that God himself inspires some of the articles posted here.

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          • Like this one?
            You can belive it, but that doesn’t prove anything.

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  • FredtheFailLord FredtheFailLord

    If I were the devil, I’d chill out and turn Hell into a trans-dimensional Las Vegas, but more awesome. Then I’d advertise it as a resort, not charge people to go there and hang out, and generally promote world peace. Because at the end of the day, once people had all stopped fighting, they’d realize the nothing god did for them and the awesome stuff I did for them, and they’d love me for it.

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  • @Pebrocks dont let them make you change your pics or name because they’re just dumbfuck that needs to shut up because all they’re doing is making fun of america @christwire how does it feel to know that someones kid in the heart of America
    Has blood on their hands, fighting to defend your rights So you can maintain the lifestyle that insults this family’s existence

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    • I’ve been meaning to change it. I never stick to one avatar/name for too long on this site. But thank you. Honestly.

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