Lava Spirals on Mars, Is China Responsible?
Lava spirals on Mars reveal human skeletons, landing sites, boffin researcher discovers. Is China’s secret space program revealed?
Dramatic news from NASA’s lone remaining telescope reveal there are lava spirals on Mars and the CASA (Chinese Annihilate Space Americans) administration is to blame. CASA seeks to be the new NASA and if the lava spirals on Mars are any indication, China’s space technology is far greater than we could have guessed.
We were first clued into China’s advanced space technology when ChristWire interns Bryan Blake and Mike Watson were on a mission trip in Beijing. After accidentally catching a meeting between Chinese officials at a hotel banquet, Blake and Watson heard a discussion about the Chinese astronauts eating puppies in space. The men who were talking also revealed that China had already been to the moon.
Days after we broke that story, China internally showed footage of their astronauts preparing to land on the moon and preparing to kick over the flag Neil Armstrong used to claim the moon for America, to replace it with that of their newly risen imperial star empire.
Images of Chinese landing on the moon.
Now, a boffin-in-training has discovered landing sites for Chinese space vehicles on mars. The spirals are probably coils from geothermic vents the Chinese are using to power underground facilities for their new base of operations. How appropriate that the red planet is now going to be the den for the sleeping dragon. Friends, you should be very ascared right now, so ascared just like me.
The Chinese are taking advantage of America’s Dark Age of Obama. Just like the Dark Ages of old, we are ruled by atheism and no imagination. We no longer have the hopes and dreams of good Republican men like Ronald Reagan. Gone are our days of space glory because Obama is gutting NASA and grounding our military.
We must vote a spacehawk Republican into office in 2012. The moon should be lined with our nukes. The Chinese have Mars, so we have no choice but to recapture, reflag and remake the moon occupied by America and we must prepare for the upcoming American-Moon – Chinese-Mars war. With faith, we can overcome.
This can be just like Russia sneaking Sputnik to space before us. We must take the lead in the space race once more. It starts with China Commienauts kicking over our flag, it ends with us kneeling before the lurid loins of Mao.
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- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
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1:17 pm
China should be punished for this. Immediately!
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5:54 pm
Go wage war on them, see how the US economy reacts.I’ll give you a hint: it wont be good.
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7:53 pm
not sure that many american will approve of that
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8:22 am
And yet you do nothing like just like all the relion fashes.
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1:52 pm
That last picture is photoshop.
Here is the real picture.
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2:05 pm
Where is the crumpled up flag on the ground?
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2:07 pm
I hate the moon.
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2:08 pm
Okay….? Anyway, we need to moon. Or really the Earth needs the moon.
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2:11 pm
Since the dawn of time, mankind has yearned to destroy the moon
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2:13 pm
Wtf are you blabbing about August? Never in my research of history have anyone wanted to destroy Luna.
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2:29 pm
I don’t blame you, so much evil is contained within it. It really makes me wonder how America’s handsome and brave astronauts are bold enough to even go up there. The only good it does is provide a possible base to attack China and also that H3 could be the new oil.
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2:39 pm
All the moon is just a large chunk of rock. Why are you afraid of it? And we need the moon. Without it, we won’t have tides, the Earth would spin faster, the tilt of the Earth would change, affecting the seasons and possible the life of millions of creatures. If the moon was to blow up, the pieces of rock from it would hit the Earth, possibly killing billions if large enough.
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1:01 am
Don’t you all know that the moon is basically a part of the Earth? Also, the moon controls the tide to the ocean dipshit.
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8:26 pm
What’s wrong with the moon.
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11:09 pm
first of all, love the derpy icon. secondly, could anyone tell me if this is a joke site, like Cracked or the Onion News Network? because I honestly can’t tell.
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2:07 pm
That was photostopped in. The picture Abe showed was not real. Someone took this photo I’m showing and changed it.
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7:39 am
“Where is the crumpled up flag on the ground?”
They photochopped it out.
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10:32 pm
Cassy, can you ever be right? You always sprout out false words. No, the flag on the ground was not photoshopped out. Abe posted a fake photo while I posted the real photo. These are facts.
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4:36 am
Pebbles everyone with half a brain can see through your lies.
Stop lying no one believes you.
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5:13 am
Christian Retard, use your fucking brain for one min. If you look at the last picture Abe put, the flag on the ground does not match the picture. The colors are off on the flag and the person. I can post more pictures of the real fucking event, that took place in 1969. I thought you of all people would be proud of what America did and remember the real picture.
Here is the picture again, larger and flipped backwards. Or the first picture I put was backwards and this is forward.
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2:44 pm
Pebbles:
That is a terrible Photoshop.
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2:47 pm
My name is Pebrocks and this is the real photo. It was the original photo from the Moon. Why are you so dumb?
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2:50 pm
Mark my words,the Chinese are planning to build a sun-cannon (it will harness the power of the sun) on the moon so they can destroy America from space.
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2:54 pm
C.I, stop being so paranoid. And they wouldn’t need a sun-cannon (which wouldn’t work), nukes do just find. But anyone, you’re being very paranoid right now.
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3:06 pm
Why do you think the Chinese are investing billions on solar power ? They want to develop solar weaponry.
Solar Powered Weapons are the future:
http://itthing.com/10-deadly-solar-powered-weapons
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3:12 pm
Because solar power is a great fuel source. Chinese are smart and are moving onto cheaper and better energy, not to blow up the U.S. Although I think most countries don’t like the U.S. I can see why.
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3:19 pm
Done praising China yet, comrade? ChrisTwire mods, place a tracking cookie on this user.
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3:20 pm
Tracking cookie? Man you’re retarded. I live in the U.S., the same country you praise.
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7:56 pm
solar energy is the cheaper if not the cheapest of the energy and with a Big country like china it’s will be useful also Japan wnated to convert themselv einto Sun power
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1:51 am
Solar energy is NOT cheap…
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2:04 am
Sure it is. Many houses are getting it. It’s cheap and good investment. I’ve seen most schools in the area have large portion filled with solar panels.
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9:24 pm
Why do you atheists enjoy spreading misinformation ?
It is expensive, i know you people only trust liberal sources so:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/29/business/energy-environment/29renew.html?_r=1
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10:30 pm
“solar thermal electricity, made by using the sun’s heat to boil water and spin a turbine, would be nearly three times that of coal and more than twice that of natural gas.”
That’s not what I’m talking about. This is different than solar panels, which are cheaper then this. Much cheaper.
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12:20 am
you talk about the thermal energy produced by the sun Not solar energy ( which is also produced by the son ) there is a difference
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7:08 am
You are so incredibly stupid, i can’t even begin to explain. The level of ignorance that is being spouted out on this website is insane. I am christian, but seriously? Sun cannon? At our technology level today, we can barely get the sun to power our homes, but a cannon to destroy america? Your name is ironic. You’re not intellectual at all.
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3:15 pm
The Godless Chinee teaming up with Mars, the Planet of War? How much more obvious could Christian Intellectual’s theory be? China is planning for war. And if these true facts don’t scare the you-know-what out of you, the fact that they desecrated Old Glory in the manner that they did was a virtual shot across the bow. I will pray for most of us.
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3:19 pm
Teamed up with a planet? Are you really that stupid? It’s a planet. What are they going to do with a planet you idiot? True facts? Abe never provide anything to back up his articles so these aren’t facts.
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5:56 pm
Don’t you believe that there is no life on mars?
You cant team up with nothing. It would be like we teaming up with Jupiter, its not going to do anything.
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5:59 pm
We need to nuke Jupiter for being a false god and to prevent you teaming up with it.
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6:26 pm
Jupiter is a giant ball of gas. Didn’t you pay attention in school you idiot?
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6:44 pm
It has a rocky core that is over 10 times the size of Earth.
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8:46 pm
And how the hell does anyone team up with a planet? Try thinking.
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1:03 am
They probably think that the planet is actually a space ship that will crush us like in that one Invader Zim episode.
Dumbasses.
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8:03 pm
try to Launch a nuclear missile to Jupiter I dare you do that it’s will be dinsegrated even ebfore reaching moon
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7:51 pm
Wait, isn’t Jupiter HUGE? Maybe teaming up with it is our best option to defeat the Chinese scourge. I like the way you think, mrhanklee.
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8:04 pm
Lol scourge ? its not you who rampage and destroy everything your little soldier go ? I mean look at those arab countries
what chiense did they never invaded any country they never wanted to destroy USA to begin with you are jealous because they are a much more peaceful country than yours
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12:32 am
re:”what chiense did they never invaded any country they never wanted to destroy USA to begin with you are jealous because they are a much more peaceful country than yours”
Tell that to Tibetans and Uighurs (natives of Xinjiang province), comrade Millenium.
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12:16 am
soo billybob cletus you in favor of some Muslims pakistani that invaded china and causing sickness to the Han ?
Ulghurs are muslim and were attacking people
as for Tibetans how come there is 200 people out of what 20 Millions who rioted ( and akilled 2 tibetan girls ?in the process They killed their own people)
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8:47 pm
You dumb fuck. You can’t team up with a planet. It’s not alive. And the Chinese are not scourge. The U.S. is more scourge like. Wanting to fight every country for no reason.
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9:04 pm
Well, if China is bigger than the US and they team up with Mars, it only makes sense that we team up with a bigger planet to even the score. Now that we’re on a level planet field, Good ol’ US ingenuity and the mighty war machine we possess should make for a short battle. It’s all about bringing the boys back home safe, Pedcocks. Don’t you agree?
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9:07 pm
“Well, if China is bigger than the US and they team up with Mars,”
How does a country team up with a planet that doesn’t have any inhabitants on it? And you DO realize just how long it takes to even get to another planet, right?
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9:13 pm
It’s a fucking planet. You can’t team up with a planet. DO you even think anymore R.M?
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9:18 pm
Nice defeatist attitude, boys. Wouldn’t want either of you in my foxhole.
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9:20 pm
We all know which planet the homogays have teamed up with.
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9:22 pm
LOL August!
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9:23 pm
Defeatist? Yet you guys can’t seem to get you can’t team up with a planet. It’s. A. Planet. And neither L.N. or I are “homogays”, which is a made up word. You love to use those kinds of words don’t you August?
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9:32 pm
Real Merican, are you capable of thought, period?
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10:18 pm
I cant tell if you guys are being sarcastic about this whole planet thing, or actually believe it, this site really need a sarcasm font.
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12:21 am
i am pretty sure that there is life in Mars,and they are yellow not green and we call them ????wright answer is……………chinese…………
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6:43 pm
You guys are a shame to christianity and to god. What a bunch of close minded freaks, You have truely forgotten what the message of christ was, You are the reason why people are turning away from god. heck i want to run a mile from here just from reading some of the rubbish you post on here!. You think everyone is going to hell…. where as you are the biggest sinners i have ever come across….
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10:41 pm
I am so ashamed to be an American right now.
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7:11 am
LOL Agreed.
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11:56 pm
Agreed Herv, peacock’s and LN’s cowardace and lack of imaginative military stratagem sickens me as well.
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12:05 am
Military stratagem? You’re thinking it’s possible to “team up” with a fucking planet. A giant ball of gas. Your stupidity sickens me. And Herbert was talking about the article.
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12:10 am
There’s also the fact that traveling to Mars is quite a feat, let alone any other planet. Apparently these people read science fiction and completely forget the fiction part.
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1:47 am
They deny the facts because as radical Atheists they both support the Chinese empire.
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2:03 am
What facts? China teaming up with a planet? That’s science fiction. You people are too retarded to tell the difference. And I don’t support the Chinese. I don’t support any country.
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11:26 am
God your such an imbecile CI
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9:24 pm
Not true, i have a perfect score on the Christian IQ test.
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10:28 pm
That dosen’t actually prove that you’re not an imbecile…Infact it pretty much adds to the pile of idiocy that you are
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3:58 pm
So CR is saying he scored a 0 on an actual IQ test, seeing as how he’s only capable of spouting out stupid. Hell, he even admitted that logic and reasoning are bad. He thinks thinking is bad!
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8:13 pm
God tells me that i am smarter than both of you.
Ouboros: You believe that the universe was created by a self m’ing snake
L.N; You don’t even know if reality is real or if you control your own mind.
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8:19 pm
“Ouboros: You believe that the universe was created by a self m’ing snake”
Lol what? Where did you get that insane idea? I most certainly do not believe a snake created the universe. You just made that up.
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9:17 pm
Oh really? You made a perfect score on a christian IQ test? All that proves is that you have a good imagination.
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12:55 pm
“God tells me that i am smarter than both of you.”
You’re telling us that a voice in your head is telling you that you’re smarter than us. Riiiiiight.
“Ouboros: You believe that the universe was created by a self m’ing snake”
I’d certainly like to see where this claim was made, because God hates liars.
“L.N; You don’t even know if reality is real or if you control your own mind.”
Uh, YOU are the one who’s guilty of that. I know that ‘reality is real’ and that I’m in control of my own mind. You are the one who flat-out said that logic and reasoning have no purpose and are evil.
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7:09 am
Is this… is this for real? Am I really seeing this? Please tell me this is all some big joke site like The Onion that I’ve accidentally stumbled across… People cannot be as stupid and blind as I’m seeing here.
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11:24 am
” all some big joke site like The Onion”
Bingo. Don’t bring it up though because they will deny it until their finger bleed.
Just play along and it’s actually quite fun sometimes
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9:28 pm
Sometimes i also wonder about this myself, the liberal that come here are SOOO STUPID that sometimes i think they are fakes.
But sadly everything these radical leftists say is REAL.
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10:26 pm
Too stupid to relize he’s referring to Christwire and people like you?
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10:27 pm
Christian Retard, he is talking about you guys. You guys are a fucking joke. Learn to read and understand whom people are talking about, or don’t even reply.
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7:40 pm
This site is not a joke. I do not know about these websites but the truth spoken here is true. The Danica Patrick is sent as a representative of the dark lord to turn the souls of youg boys to the evil ways of sex and depravity. I have seen disgusting pictures of her online. Jeff Gordon is an example of the sport. Good looks, tall and handsome, the all-american role model for young boys looking to make there way in the world. My nephews, who are at times cruel and misguided enjoy other sports such as swimming, and we all know that swimming is for the gays. I worry about them.
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9:11 pm
Look bro, go bitch about Danica Patrick on the actual article about her not the one about the moon, K? K.
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9:38 pm
And how is swimming for homosexuals? Everyone swims. Have you never gone to the beach? Pool? You a sad sad little man.
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8:24 am
So maybe you post an image of mars next time?
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2:21 pm
Here are some disturbing statistics:
-53% of “Chi-nee” people eat dogs
-There is a plan at the top levels of their government to topple the United States and invoke the rule of Communism
-Sweet and Sour Chicken, part of the conspiracy, is enjoyed by 74% of Americans
-The ingredients of Sweet and Sour chicken, designed to entice us, are delicious and contain hormones that slowly activate a part of our brains that turn is to worshipping the red master
-Sweet and Sour chicken can be purchased now in 90% f metropolises
-”Chinatown” in the vile “nude” York is overtaking the nearby Italian areas (filthy and Catholic, but at least Christian)
-Barack Obama kissed a Chinee official on the mouth, proving that they are involved in a love tryst that will end in the ruin of our country
-The Chinee officials are using this tryst to gain secrets to our military
-Sweet and sour chicken was served at the last state dinner (!)
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7:02 pm
Yet none of those are fact, are complete bullshit that you made up, and that you should just stop talking now.
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7:29 pm
Given by looking at your picture, it seems like you are into the “anime” that is basically propaganda for the chinee. it is created by them and consumed by young, confused emogays who through its influence slowly turn to a pathetic life where they don’t have to make decisions. A life where others own their life. A life ruled by the state. A life of depravity. A life of communism and misery.
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7:31 pm
Now that tax season is over I have time to debate- but I can see from your viscous attacks that it may not be worth it.
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7:34 pm
Viscous attacks? I’m just informing you that everything you said was made up. You’re attacking intelligence by the stupidity in your posts.
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7:33 pm
Anime is from Japan. Or at least this anime is. However, I don’t really like anime all that much, I just like the art of it. And there you people go again. Using fake words like “emogays”. And doesn’t our own government own us? If voting actually changed something, they would have made it illegal.
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7:42 pm
My god you’re stupid and racist. Let’s see, it’s ‘Chinese’, not ‘chinee’, though I’m willing to bet you’re racist so that explains that, anime is basically the Japanese form of animation since so much of it is different from the rest of the world, it’s nothing more than a form of entertainment (otherwise you must then say ALL forms of entertainment are conspiracies and thus make yourself sound even stupider), and you’re somehow trying to connect it to communism just because you’re racist and you’re desperate for ammunition against them.
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7:25 am
By the way, anime was created by the japanese. please do your research before commenting. thank you.
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7:19 am
1) 53% of Chinese people do NOT eat dogs. show me proof
2)Prove that there is a plan at the top of their government to topple America. Please understand that the chinese and american economy need eachother. without one or the other, they would collapse.
3)The fact about the sweet and sour chicken is extremely stupid and ignorant. Proof Proof Proof.
4)Obama did this because it is a sign of good manners and hospitality. ALL world leaders want to appeal to their guests. What do you expect? Obama go up to the chinese official and flick him off? idiot.
5)This article, and you, are extremely stupid.
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5:29 pm
Abe’s lack of intelegence is disturbing
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7:24 am
Do you understand how far away the moon is, and how much money it would take to put 1 PERSON there? nontheless set up a whole entire space station there? Well, i’ll give you an idea. It takes 45 minutes for light to travel from mars, to earth. it takes light 1 second to travel the circumference of the earth 7 times. we barely got to the moon, and it takes light only 11 seconds for light to reach from the earth, to the moon. The chinese need america for it’s Economy and vise versa. this means that they NEED eachother. Although they have bad relations with eachother, they need eachother to survive or else their economy will collapse. It would probably take humans at LEAST 25 years to reach mars, technologically. (and i’m being generous here). The ammount of stupidity, ignorance, and hate that is being spitted out on this website is incredible. it makes me sad to be a christian and an American. God looks down upon you racists, and extremists.
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