• Leaked – Shock Ending to Twilight Breaking Dawn (Part 2) Has Andrew Cullen and Bella Shot Dead, Mass Erect Fans Help with Protest

    April 3, 2012 1:41 am 14 comments

    Sharing a dinner of innocent’s blood and Satanic cursed olive oil smothered soylent liver, Edward Cullen and Bella look deeply into each other’s eyes in the near closing scene for Twilight Breaking Dawn, Part 2.  Shocking to many fans, the end of the Twilight Series is being used to spawn the sequel for The Hunger Games vis-a-via a prequel for the movie Hanna.  The final scene involves Hanna ripping the beating heart out of Edward Cullen and flippantly calling him a ‘fake vampire’.

    Fans of the Twilight book and movie series are up in arms after a leak of Twilight Breaking Dawn (Part 2) hit the internet.  In the dramatic ending scene of the movie, the two main characters of Twilight are shot down and killed by a girl named Hanna.  Apparently, this is a new film strategy by Big Hollywood to tie three movie series into one continuity but the technique already has fans emotionally frustrated and demanding the ending be changed.

    The three films that are being melded into one are:  Twilight, The Hunger Games and Hanna.  Hanna is a feminist’s story about the Vitamin-d deficient sun-hating savages of Norway and Finland training a seemingly innocent blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl to be an international crossbow assassin.  Her story is to serve as a prequel to The Hunger Games, a movie about how the world would work if men somehow lost all their testosterone and women took over.

    Twilight Movie Trivia
    The restaurant scene above takes place right after a prior scene, where Edward and Bella decide to abort their baby named Renesmee and eat the baby to hide their actions from their brood. According to reports, the actors in the movie had moral reservations about the scene and a seemingly emotionless Kristen Stewart was in internal turmoil throughout the entire scene, though no one could tell since she only has one expression on her shockingly non-botoxed face.

    These two films with the pessimistic view fit the mood of the world.  People wonder why the new Nolan Batman films do so well:  it’s simply because they are dark and dreary.  The world has an emosexual attitude because a darkness looms over the White House, and therefore, the world, but I digress.

    This shocking ending to Twilight Movies has caught the attention of new Blizzard Gaming haters, the fans of Mass Erect.  As warned by Deacon Tyson Bowers III, Mass Effect is known as “Mass Erect” on the street and is a game of homosexually bound jigsaw puzzles and suggestive gameplay.  The ending of the game had a Gary Stu character killed off and it made all the fanboys cry, so they boycotted Blizzard until the company agreed to change the ending for their petty, catty needs.

    Apparently, all the fans of Mass Effect have a vampire fetish because most of the protestors to the newly leaked Twilight movie ending are logging in to protest on Twilight’s site from their Mass Effect player interfaces.

    At this point I’d usually warn parents about how horrible Twilight is as a movie and why JRK Tolkien is such a terrible Morman man for his pagan beliefs and producing this mind-altering vampire worship filth, but this time around I think I will be happily paying to take my nieces to see this movie.  The fact that the movie will show Hanna ripping the heart out of Edward Cullen as a crying and dieing Bella watches on makes me happy.

     

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