Apple fanboys are in mourning today, after news that a Mac virus has caused the downfall of Steve Job’s empire. Everything from iPads, to iPods to Mac tablets and desktop models are affected. The Mac Virus is the most complex computer virus even seen in the history of mankind. The Soviet government, the bigger consumer of Mac based products right after the city of Seattle, Washington, has declared a state of emergency and is seeking UN assistance.
The Mac Virus cripples a Mac computer’s ability to use Ubuntu, a weird, alien looking language that was probably scripted by Satan himself. The language is crude and ugly, rendering an ackward interface where the mouse cursor does not behave normally and look proper. The keyboard of Mac computers is also beyond weird, with crude, Cold war Russia buttons like “Command Line” and “Option”. On the PC keyboard, these keys are natural and family friendly with abbreviated names Shift, Ctrl, Fn and alt. Those keys all make sense to the majority of readers today.
Apple computers oft hailed a reputation for being like Fort Knox with security. While Windows users understand there is a regular need to have Godly applications like Norton Antivirus and ChristWire’ BeSafeOnline Family Filter, Apple fanboys had grown coy.