• Mac Virus Proves God Unhappy with Apple Fanboys

    April 9, 2012 3:55 am 1 comment
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  • Apple fanboys are in mourning today, after news that a Mac virus has caused the downfall of Steve Job’s empire.  Everything from iPads, to iPods to Mac tablets and desktop models are affected.  The Mac Virus is the most complex computer virus even seen in the history of mankind.  The Soviet government, the bigger consumer of Mac based products right after the city of Seattle, Washington, has declared a state of emergency and is seeking UN assistance.

    The Mac Virus cripples a Mac computer’s ability to use Ubuntu, a weird, alien looking language that was probably scripted by Satan himself.  The language is crude and ugly, rendering an ackward interface where the mouse cursor does not behave normally and look proper.  The keyboard of Mac computers is also beyond weird, with crude, Cold war Russia buttons like “Command Line” and “Option”.  On the PC keyboard, these keys are natural and family friendly with abbreviated names Shift, Ctrl, Fn and alt.  Those keys all make sense to the majority of readers today.

    Rarely seen photogenic Apple fanboy poses next to Apple’s latest desktop model, which complexly displays an actual image. To display an image on an Apple computer is a modern marvel of coding Linux kernels and encoding Soviet Ubuntu langauge in a language named OSX, which is then displayed somehow on a haphazzard browser named Safari.

    Apple computers oft hailed a reputation for being like Fort Knox with security.  While Windows users understand there is a regular need to have Godly applications like Norton Antivirus and ChristWire’ BeSafeOnline Family Filter, Apple fanboys had grown coy.

     
    They thought just because the Russian friendly Obama is president, they could truly let their guard down in coffee shops as they discussed socialist policies, grassroots campaigns to get Obama reelected and mooch free government internet.  This Mac Virus will destroy Obama’s campaign and hopefully force them Apple fanboys to do something useful, like get a job and stop living in their parent’s basement.
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    About The Author
    Jim McCarter The workshop of character is everyday life. The uneventful and commonplace hour is where the batle is lost or won.

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