• McDonald’s Customer $1 Felony Costs Jail Time, Florida

    April 25, 2012 12:35 pm 9 comments

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    Jerry Cohen

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    If you see the words $1 felony and McDonald’s in the headline, you can take good odds that it happened in Florida.  Today’s weird crime occurred at a Florida McDonald’s where 52-year-old Mark Abaire, from Naples, Florida, was caught walking out of of an East Naples McDonald’s without paying for a drink.

    Oh, the humanity.

    Didn’t Trayvon Martin get shot to death not far from there and his shooter wasn’t even arrested until a month later.  In Florida, if you want justice you better be Mayor McCheese or the Hamburglar, apparently, because black in a hoodie isn’t going to get you much sympathy.

    The story goes on!  Abaire allegedly filled a courtesy cup with soda on Thursday, at which point a watchful crew saw him committing the high crime.  He dared try to use a cup meant for water and sneak half a can of soda in it.   Reports say he didn’t even use ice, so he really had a full courtesy cup.

    The manager who called the cops on Abaire told deputies, who instantly responded (or more likely were already there), that around 10 p.m. the felon entered the restaurant and asked for a glass of water.  The employee told Abaire the small courtesy cup was for water only, but Abaire still filled it with a delicious soda concoction from the fountain.  He then sat outside the restaurant and enjoyed his drink.

    The manager went outside and demanded Abaire at least pay for the soda, which was valued at $1.  Upset, Abaire allegedly cursed and decided he didn’t want to leave his soda behind and wanted to just sit outside with his drink.  Instead of just giving the disgruntled man a slap on the wrist, for some reason his charges were upgraded to a felony.  For his little drink incident, Abaire now faces up to 5 years in prison and a $5,000 fine.

    To recap, don’t try to sneak extra soda from McDonald’s.  Sure, it is fine for them to screw up your order, give you flat and crappy soda in the drive-thru and generally waste your time, but just don’t try to do the opposite.  You’ll end up a felon, apparently.

    Also, Abaire’s bond is set at $6,500.  George Zimmerman was released on $120,000 bond.  So in Florida, sneaking a drink of McDonald’s soda will get you arrested 1 month faster than killing a black teenager in a hoodie.

    In Florida, the value of a black teen in a hoodie’s life is approximately 18.4% more valuable than a soda sneaked into a courtesy cup ($120,000/$6500).  Keep that in mind next time you and the kids are deciding on Disney California or Disney Florida.

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